PASS THE TURKEY AND THE EYE ROLLS PLEASE- A THANKSGIVING BLOG

Any family member you know?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Blog by Colleen

You know the eye roll I am talking about.  You have given it and more importantly, you have received it.  It is usually given to you by a relative who thinks your political or religious beliefs are ridiculous and can’t believe you are sharing those views at the table.  You may roll your eyes for the same reason or because a relative won’t stop talking about an embarrassing story from your childhood or complaining about the food you spent days preparing for them. They might just be the relative everyone dreads this time of year.  Why do we even bother then?  I will tell you my thoughts on why this holiday is important to family traditions.

I grew up in a strong Italian family where Thanksgiving started early morning with the smells of cooking and singing.  My mom loves the holidays and she wanted us to love them as well.  I think her efforts were successful with my oldest sister and I, but a bust with my twin sisters.   They are more the bah-humbuggers of the group.   We would start the marathon of eating around 12:00 and continue with different courses throughout the day.  Soup, pasta, bread, turkey with all the trimmings and finally a table full of desserts were staples in our family.  My mom cooked for an army because she never knew who would show up or whom my Dad might invite last minute.  There was family, friends and good food.  Those are happy memories I treasure.  

When I got married, I decided early on that the holidays would continue at my house so I didn’t have to choose between my parent’s and my in-law’s homes.  For  27 years and counting, I have hosted Thanksgiving.  It does not always look the same and is not always easy. Personalities often clash and the stress of cooking can overwhelm me.  I have had ovens break Thanksgiving morning two years in a row,  I spent one year in the shower with my daughter who had horrible croup while everyone enjoyed the holiday downstairs.  I have lived through fights with family members, silence at the table and crappy side dishes brought by well meaning people.  So, why do I continue to do this to myself every year?

It is simple really.  I don’t know what the next year will bring so if I can bring together as many people I love around a table, I will do it.  We have no guarantees in this life from one year to the next.  People who sit at the table one year may leave this earth by the next Thanksgiving.  I don’t want missed opportunities, lost conversations or strategically placed photo opportunities to pass me by.  I will sit through the same stories told by sweet but forgetful older relatives.  I will put up the Christmas Tree early to make my aunt smile each year. I will name the turkey in the morning ceremony where I baste him or her and thank it for its sacrifice to our Thanksgiving meal.  

The first Thanksgiving after my father died was difficult.  I hadn’t spent Thanksgiving with him in many years but when I went to make the obligatory Thanksgiving call to him, I realized it was no longer an option.  My once necessary obligation was a gift I couldn’t get back.  A picture of him by the table had to do that year.  I realized that it is no longer a given that the same people would join us at the table or in our conversations will be there every year.  The kids table would grow into an adult only table.  I would have to wait for grandchildren to start the family tradition again. 

Macy’s parade is a must see even with the bad lip syncing and poor freezing dancers.  We took our girls one year to New York to see the parade and have dinner with my sibling and her family.  It was rainy and cold but my daughters loved it and still talk about it today. They want to go back, maybe even with their own children one day. My girls may be grown but they still want to know if my mom (Noni) is making her delicious mashed potatoes and if I will make the tiramisu.  I love that! I am a sucker for traditions and can’t think of a better gift than happy memories of love, laughter, fighting and food for the holidays. 

If you feel like it’s too much to do a Thanksgiving, I get it.  Try to simplify as much as you can in order to lower your stress but my suggestion is do it anyway.  Order in, do potluck or just have coffee and desserts, but make it a priority. You don’t know if those same faces will be smiling or frowning at the table next year and you don’t want missed time. Time is really what we have to share with everyone this holiday. 

Don’t even get me started on the Christmas traditions.  I can drive my family insane and I love every minute.  Happy Thanksgiving and remember to enjoy the happy and annoying moments of the day!

26 thoughts on “PASS THE TURKEY AND THE EYE ROLLS PLEASE- A THANKSGIVING BLOG

  1. This is lovely Colleen, thank you. This may help me in my efforts to be more tolerant of certain relatives.?

  2. I’m so grateful our Thanksgivings are just always wonderful gatherings! As far as the Christmas tree, hubby is very anal and picky and moves everything hung by me, so I learned to let him do it! Now I just happily bake cookies n baklava and life goes on.

  3. I do family Christmas Eve…it is hectic and somehow it always turns out that I feverishly make my homemade pierogi’s the morning of – that is stressful!

  4. You made some great points about enjoying Thanksgiving with loved ones because we don’t know who will be alive next year. Making great memories is important. @donna444444

  5. I 100% agree! I lost my dad 19 years ago suddenly. I miss him so much! My mom is in poor health and my husband is much older than me so anything could happen to anyone at anytime. I always fix Thanksgiving dinner at my home every year and invite my mom and step dad over. We used to share cooking but due to her health I do it all. I am so thankful for my time with my family and look forward to our annual tradition of eating together at my home. Thanks for the chance to win on Instagram. @paulerbear45

  6. I love it! You are right, we need to enjoy the day & if it’s too much stress just take a step back. This year my family is ordering in Thanksgiving and we are so exited for little stress and just enjoying on another’s company!!

  7. Thank you for sharing your blog! Can’t believe you’ve hosted Thanksgiving for 27 years, what a fun blessing to be able to do this for your family. Even if it is stressful at times 🙂

    I would love to see the Thanksgiving Day Parade some year, how fun.

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