Be Your Own Valentine: Self Love with Katie Phillips | Hot Flashes & Cool Topics Podcast

Self love Katie Phillips

https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/hyw48i/KPfinal_-_2_8_22_122_PM84s6k.mp3

EPISODE SUMMARY:

As a coach and founder of The School of Self Love, Katie Phillips uses her expertise to help women on their journey towards self-love and growth. In today’s episode, we sat down with Katie to discuss her advice for entering relationships, steps towards inner work and self-love, building trust through personal growth, and the challenges of online dating for midlife women.

First, we asked Katie for advice when moving on from one relationship to another. She told us that the first thing she’d tell someone who was looking for a new romantic partner is to focus on inner growth. By bettering yourself, you can sustain the healthy, long-term relationship you desire and deserve. She also recommended not to jump straight in; it’s important to first figure out everything you want in a relationship so you can find connections best suited for you. We also asked Kate about inner work and self-love. She emphasized that while inner work is important, it is crucial to remember not to strive for perfection. There is no such thing as a perfect person, for inner work will look different for every woman. A person should start by reflecting on past relationships and being willing to look at their own patterns. By acknowledging our faults, we can work to better ourselves and build a better foundation of self-love.

When asked about moving on after a toxic or abusive relationship, Katie spoke on how hard it can be. Having been through a narcissistic relationship firsthand, Katie understands the struggles that come with trusting and letting others in again. It’s important to acknowledge that you need support and to seek the proper means to obtain it. Whether through friends, coaches, or therapists, seeking outside help can help you heal and build your self-worth back up. For anyone, entering the dating world can be intimidating, and for first steps, Katie suggested focusing on what you do want rather than what you don’t. Focusing on what you deserve may cause voices of insecurity and doubt in your own mind, so it’s important to discover why your self-worth may be low and learn how to properly build it back up. This can be a challenge, since many view self-love as a selfish act. However, Katie argued the opposite: it is selfish not to love yourself. By loving yourself, you can offer the best version of yourself to a romantic partner.

While in a relationship that isn’t working, it’s easy to fall into the “I can change them” philosophy. Rather than leaving, people become determined to stay and try to fix their partner. When asked about this mindset, Katie explained that we cannot change someone else. We can only guide them and hope they follow. It’s important to realize that if a relationship isn’t working, there is another person out there who is a better match for you. Part of having the confidence to leave relationships or enter the dating world comes from trusting yourself. With self-trust, no matter what happens in a relationship, you know that your foundation will not be broken, and you can have your own back. Self-trust is built through always being an advocate for yourself as well as doing things for our own benefit.

Online dating in midlife can seem terrifying, and Katie spoke about how she hopes to change the narrative. Having met her husband online, she advocated for the mindset that online dating is exciting rather than scary. Instead of focusing on dating horror stories and the negatives, midlife women should go into online dating with an open mind and wanting to have fun. Being afraid is normal, but rather than beating themselves up over the fear, midlife women should process it and be willing to try despite it. Online dating is not the only dating option; if things don’t work out, there’s always another route. It should be approached as an exciting, new opportunity, not something to be terrified of.

Finally, we asked Katie about her upcoming five-day challenge, which can be found on her website, theschoolofself.love. The course is free and online, and over five days, she will take women through a foundational self-love journey. Participants will be doing mindset work, emotional healing work, and will gain clarity on what they want in relationships.

Katie Phillips

Katie is an experienced speaker and presenter who regularly provides expert comment to the media on the topic of love and relationships, as well as presenting and hosting events in the women’s wellbeing and empowerment space.

She has coached myriad women from around the globe since 2010 when she founded The School of Self Love for women ready to learn a more authentic, aligned and empowered way of doing life. Katie is the author of The Self-Love Affair: A Woman’s Guide To A Daring & Mighty Life, teaching women how to feel happy and confident in their own skin. She is also the creator of multiple guided meditation albums.

The world is crying out for authenticity, honesty, integrity, heart and inspiration. That’s Katie in a nutshell. Her light wakes up her audiences. Her mission is to inspire and motivate women to live a life that feels aligned, empowered and valuable. Underpinning all Katie’s work is a belief in the power of becoming an energetic match for all you desire, whether that’s calling in your soul mate, attracting new opportunities or simply living the abundant life you deserve.