How Women's Brains Improve in Midlife with Dr. Louann Brizendine

Brain Health

https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/peegsj/louann_-_4-25-22_908_PM6x7mj.mp3

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EPISODE SUMMARY:

As a certified doctor and bestselling author, Dr. Louann Brizendine is using her vast studies and expertise to educate the public on changing the narrative of menopause. Rather than dreading aging, Dr. Brizendine uses her new book, The Upgrade, to encourage audiences to embrace the positive changes to our minds over the years. In today’s episode, we sat down with Dr. Brizendine to discuss the stigma behind the word “menopause”, the neurological transitions women go through, how to balance your life while having adult children, and the importance of community in midlife.

First, we asked Dr. Brizendine about her midlife terminology. In her books, she never uses the word “menopause”; instead, she replaces it with words like “transition” and “upgrade”. Dr. Brizendine explained that the reason for this lies with the negative association people make when they hear the phrase “menopause”. Despite only lasting one day, it has stereotypes and fears surrounding it that last an entire stage of life. The word “transition” to describe perimenopause and menopause is not only a more neutral phrase but also is a more detailed description of a woman’s physical transition from menstruation to menopause. During our transition, women experience emotional, physical, and mental changes. For neurological changes from perimenopause, Dr. Brizendine discussed with us how as women, we are skilled at “emotional mirroring”. We not only see but understand the emotions of those around us, for we are hard wired to be more nurturing. However, once we begin our transition into midlife, our empathy begins to change. While we never lose that maternal part of ourselves, the decrease in hormone levels allows us space to breathe from the troubles of others. With the need to feed an infant or take care of someone no longer present in our stage of lie, we are free to take better care of ourselves and prioritize our needs more. Dr. Brizendine emphasized that self-care is never selfish but a crucial part of life. By being able to care for ourselves, we can better care for others.

Part of midlife for many women is having children who are now becoming young adults able to care for themselves. However, some children, such as those struggling with addiction or mental health issues, may have a harder time with independence. When asked how to balance self-care with caring for adult children, Dr. Brizendine said that as mothers, women need to learn how to walk the line. They need to understand the difference between an emergency and an opportunity to let their child learn by making mistakes, even if it is difficult to watch them do it. One of the first steps in learning this is accepting the deep connection between mother and child. When their child is suffering, they too are suffering. However, women must also realize that if they give all of themselves, they will be too drained to truly care for not only their own wellbeing but their child’s. One of the best ways a woman can ensure she is still engaging in self-care while taking care of others is by doing at least one thing a day that is just for her. This can be a process that is easier to manage after menopause, for hormone levels are evened out, allowing us to feel calmer and more willing to take care of ourselves. When our hormone levels are imbalanced during perimenopause, it can feel like a never-ending sea of ups and downs. Our estrogen levels jump up and down at random and are hard to manage. Dr. Brizendine, when describing these struggles, uses the metaphor of waves. Like waves, hormones will crash over you, consuming you whole as you struggle to even them out.

We also asked Dr. Brizendine about an issue many midlife women face during perimenopause and menopause: a decreased libido. She spoke to us about how in actuality, a decreased libido is a common issue for many midlife women. However, many women do not seem to want to discuss the problem with each other. Women who have husbands also struggle to talk about the problem with their spouse. For men, a lack of libido can often feel more personal. Rather than seeing it as a hormonal imbalance, they equate lack of sex with lack of love. It’s vital to have conversations with your partner about what you’re going through, even if men cannot completely relate to menopausal struggles. It’s also important to maintain relationships with friends and those close to you throughout the transition from menstruation to menopause. Studies have shown that midlife women who frequently spend time with their friends are happier and have better mental health.

One of the struggles of aging can be the stereotypes that come with it. Many women fear the title of the “wise one” that they’re labeled with after midlife, for it makes them feel old. Dr. Brizendine, on the other hand, finds the wisdom that comes with getting older to be a gift. She appreciates that she can use her knowledge to help guide younger generations. Becoming comfortable with your wisdom and yourself can be a process, and women have to be kind to themselves as they learn to navigate their new transition.

Finally, we asked Dr. Brizendine what being “fully upgraded” in the transition period of menopause means. She explained that to her, being fully upgraded means that your hormone levels have finally balanced themselves out, allowing you to be physiologically calmer and be able to more easily focus and relax, and you’ve learned vital tools in order to be your most authentic self.

Dr. Louann Brizendine

Dr. Louann Brizendine is a certified doctor who studied Neurobiology at UC Berkley, graduated from Yale School of Medicine, and completed her internship and residency at Harvard Medical School. She was also part of the faculties of both Harvard University and University of California at San Francisco and founded the Women’s Mood and Hormone Clinic at UCSF. Along with her many academic achievements, Dr. Brizendine is also a successful author. She has written New York Times bestselling novel The Female Brain as well as The Male Brain and The Upgrade: How the Female Brain Gets Strong and Better in Midlife and Beyond, which comes out in April 2022.