TAMSEN FADAL: EPISODE LINK

BOOK: HOW TO MENOPAUSE

TRANSCRIPTS

Colleen: – Welcome back to Hot Flashes and Cool Topics. We are so excited to welcome back a

friend of the podcast. Hello, Tamsen Fadal. How are you?

Tamsen:  – Hi, good, how are you? Nice to see you both.

Colleen: – It’s been a few months now since we’ve seen you. We saw

you when the M Factor launched and we had a great time watching the documentary and

doing a panel discussion with you. But little did people know that at the same time

you were working on the M factor. You were also writing a book. So my first

question is, are you insane? Like, how did you manage to do both of those things

at the same time?

Tamsen: My husband would answer that with it. Resounding sounding yes.

Colleen: Why did you feel like it was important to get both the documentary last year and

the book out now, you know, pretty much at the same time?

Tamsen: Yeah, I didn’t even know

what was going to all happen at the same time. Honestly, we started the documentary,

you you know, almost three years ago. I was like two and a half, almost three

years ago. And the book, I guess, was a little bit after that, but I didn’t know

it was all gonna sort of hit at the same time. I wanted it to all come together

and it didn’t. So it was a few months apart. I think what was important for me

though is ’cause I had so many interviews and I couldn’t do all that in an hour

film. And so I realized like, wow, we have a lot of things to cover, not just

what happens in the doctor’s office, but outside of it. So I wanted the book to be

able to address those because there’s a lot of things that happened during this

time, perimenopause, menopause. It’s not just hormones, it’s not just nutrition,

not just during training, there’s relationships, there’s mindset, there’s sleep, there’s

our brain health, there’s motivation, workplace. So I wanted to address some of the

things that also happen outside of the doctor’s office and in

Bridgett: Right, you know, so

her book title is How to Menopause, Take Charge of Your Health, Reclaim Your Life,

and Feel Even Better Than Before. And you divided that into five different parts,

which I really like. I really like that. First of all, and second of all, I love

the sections, like in each section, you have boxed parts in the book that just give

you great tips. And at the end of the book, just a whole list of resources, just

everything that you can do.

Tamsen: – Thank you.

Bridgett:  – Yeah, so I would really love to get

started, you know, just talking a little bit about the different parts and how you

decided what was important to include.

Tamsen: So the first part is everything you need to

know, which we’re not gonna be able to include everything you need to know about

perimenopause right now.

Colleen: – That’s why it’s in the book.

Tamsen:  – That’s why it’s in

the book.

Bridgett: And there’s, you know, we’re in

this little space where we know each other and we have been in the space for long

enough. But we’re, I’m still shocked, but I shouldn’t be by the number of people

that don’t know about this. So can you share the key things that you think are so

important?

Tamsen: – Yeah, I think as a journalist for a long time, so everything always

came like in bullet points, you know, or actionable items. That’s how I used to memorize

scripts, you know, you’d get on a, you’d get on the set and if there’s like

breaking news that you hit, you know, five words down the page and then you’d kind

of know to talk off each one. And so that’s, I think how my head worked in the

book. I said, it has to be organized because we’re women, I would assume I was

picturing who was going to read this. Maybe didn’t get a lot of sleep. Maybe they

were having brain fog. Maybe they had, you know, a thousand things going on, dealing

with their parents, dealing with kids and I thought I wanted to be structured where

it’s easy to read and just not complicated. And because I’m not a doctor and I

knew I was gonna do interviews with a lot of different people and we wanted to

simplify. So the first part, I just wanted it to be this kind of overall who,

what, where, when discussion about like the facts, some of the fears that we all

have. And then I really believe there are gifts of menopause. I don’t think we

would be sitting here talking or have met each other had not been for menopause.

And that’s kind of a really cool thing to think about and say. And then the

symptoms, because I think that’s where we all get very confused, like, oh, I had no

idea it was my hair loss was coming from this, or I didn’t know that itchy ears

were a sign of menopause, you know, dental problems. And then, and then the third

part of that was, you know, what your doctor doesn’t know, because I think that’s

the section that’s where we go next, right, we go to the doctor, doctor and

then the doctor might not, you know, might give you a shrug or make you feel like

there’s something actually wrong with you that, you know, isn’t outside of menopause

or peri menopause. So it was important for me to just kind of get through the

bare bones so you can kind of say like, hey, this is me or hey, I’m not there

yet. But hopefully it’s this is me and here’s what I get to do next.

Bridgett:  Right. And

to hear from somebody else that’s experienced that.

Tamsen: Totally. Right. It’s so important.

Colleen: Right. And I think, you know, one thing that I really appreciate in the book is

it’s coming from a perspective that’s not a medical perspective because, you know,

there are some incredible menopause experts that have written books and information is

great in there. But in your book, it’s like, well, this is what happened to me.

And this is how I handle it. And as a journalist, I know how to research. So I

did the research so you don’t have to. And I think that comes through really well

in the book. And there are things where very simple things like when you talk about

the difference between bioidentical and synthetic, FDA approved versus compounded, we

still so many listeners are like, I don’t know the difference when they tell me

that it’s compounded. Is it that mean it’s good? Is it synthetic? That means it’s

fake. So can we talk a little bit about the difference between a bioidentical

hormone therapy and a synthetic hormone.

Tamsen: – Yeah, absolutely. And I think it’s so

important too, because I do think that there is such a confusion about a lot of

different things. I mean, like, first of all, we’ll talk about how hormone therapy

has changed since the early 90s when we talk about the study we’re all, you know,

learned about in the WHI study. So, you know, the bioidentical are really the ones

that you basically know that are out there. They’re the estradiol, they’ve got all

different brand names, and the progesterone that we all see with the little white

pill. And the transdermal patch is bioidentical too. And so I think what gets people

very confused and got me really confused was the fact that I thought like, oh, one

of them is plant -based, and that’s going to be healthier for me. And the other one

is like, that’s going to be dangerous. And that’s not what we’re talking about here.

So I wanted people to understand the difference between those things and the

difference of what we were looking back  before the 90s and in

the 90s when we were looking at a different type of hormone therapy that was tested

because I think that was the most important thing for me to also get across. We

get super confused and then you add compounded on top of that. Most people don’t

realize that you know you can’t just go in and say I need some testosterone because

we don’t have it for us as women. We have men’s and then we have to get that

compounded, so it’s a dose that is just for us. And I had this conversation last

night, I was out with a girlfriend and she said, I had no idea. She goes, the

testosterone she’s doing goes under her tongue, and if she does too much of it, she

knows the difference, if she does too much or not. And I went, oh my gosh, there’s

so many different things out there that we’re just not aware of. And so it was

important for me to know the difference between the synthetic, with the bioidentical

and compound and compound I think gets a lot of people kind of tripped up of what

exactly it is and why some things are compounded versus some things do not need to

be.

Bridgett: Yeah it’s something that you add it to in there that I appreciate personally

because I didn’t know about this until we had conversations with clinicians was

pellets and you leave it in there. You put it in there but you also say look, a

lot of doctors don’t recommend this. And the dangers that can be involved with

pellets. So that is another thing when it comes to testosterone, which I adore. But

I know. And you know,

you include in there, and that is a whole thing, the listeners that you’re going to

have to really read about, about testosterone and why it’s not FDA and the pushback

and the pushback and everything like that and the hoops we have to jump through and

the expense that we have to pay prescribed off label.

Tamsen: Yeah, right. I have to

address that. And you know, it’s funny, like every time there was a new study or

something came out, I was calling my publisher, I’m like, I have to add this

because there’s just been so much stuff and they’re like, no more, there’s no more

cutting you off. So yeah, I was cut off several times, but I wanted to just get

in those basics because I think that there’s so much confusion and there’s not like,

you know, just basic things like is gel better than cream or injection or, you

know, there’s so many different options out there and there’s no one saying like,

how do we do this? Just tell me what to do. And I feel like at this stage,

that’s how I felt. I felt like somebody just tell me what to do. And I don’t want

to tell anybody what to do, but I wanted to lay out some of those options so you

can kind of see what experts that we know recommend or not,

or the pros and cons, you can judge for yourself too. I mean, we’re smart women

and quite frankly, a lot of us are very, very educated about menopause. I could

probably teach a lot of the experts about it at this point. And so I think that,

you know, I have found this group of doctors that has been incredible.

They’ve given me like a master’s degree in menopause. And so I do feel like, you

know, I could really walk into the doctors that gave me my initial diagnosis and be

like, let me tell you what’s going on with my body. So I think that’s what I

wanted women to be able to have.

Colleen: – Absolutely, options. We’re very smart,

give us options. And we can figure it out what’s best for us. And I think, you

know, they don’t, a lot of women are so afraid to even bring up the idea of

menopause. And another thing I really appreciate in your book is how you talked

about the fears and the big feelings menopause can trigger because, and we talked

about this in the past about the M factor, how you were in the media and starting

a conversation about menopause and its effects kind of triggers the age,

you know, conversation. So why did you feel it important to add that part of the

feelings women get, like we’re feeling irrelevant or visible, why did you, because I

really like that you did most books don’t even touch on that emotional aspect of

menopause.

Tamsen: Thank you. Thanks for saying that. I was a little nervous about it

because I thought, am I going too far off the road of the facts and everything?

And then I said, I can’t not do it because it consumed me for a really, really

long time and still does sometimes. You know, I do have a lot of those fears and

then I also see where there are gifts. But, you know, during this time, it was

this kind of, am I being put to the side? Am I, you know, not relevant anymore?

Am I kind of invisible? A lot of the symptoms wrapped me up in shame because I

didn’t even know there were symptoms of this. And so I think it’s really important

that we talk about those out in the open. And then we also look at examples of

women that have gone, no, I’m not invisible, I’m anything but. But those are real

feelings and real emotions and real things that outwardly we try not to show and

outwardly we try to be bold and brave. But inside we have that feeling like, am I

enough or is this it or is that all I’ve got or am I still relevant? I had that

all the time and especially in television where it was a world of being energetic

and youthful and trying not to show your age and making sure that there was this

filter over everything. So when I took that filter off, I was like,

wow, this feels great and scary, but great. And so I understand there was two sides

to it. And I just, I felt like it was important to address because I read all

those messages that I get as many as I can and respond to them. And that is an

overriding theme all the time, over and over again. And so I just, I guess I wanna

women, if they read this to be able to talk to somebody else about it, or I don’t

know, it was just really important not to leave out ’cause I don’t think you can

separate those things.

Bridgett:  – No, I completely agree. – It’s so hard. Right, right, it’s

so hard. And when you feel alone, it is such just a scary space. When you start

to read and you find out that somebody that’s on TV feels the same way as having

the same issues you just you feel like oh my gosh I am not the only one and

somebody else feels this way and you also talk a lot about it just hits so many

great points that women that are in this stage of life we don’t even think about

or attribute things to menopause you talk about your lifestyle which you’ve also

touched on you’ve talked about movement, the importance of movement. But it’s also

not to fit into the dress or, you know, you talked about how you,

how you were in the 80s and 90s and how that’s changed too. And we all, I think

we all were, I think we all relate to that. I’m like, yeah, tights with a leotard.

How did I exercise and tights with a leotard?

Tamsen:  With layers and things off my

shoulder. I’d have fainted today. I just sweat it before I got

to the gym.

Bridgett: Right. But you also, you just talked about the different changes. Can

you touch on some of those changes that are important now in our lifestyle?

Tamsen: Yeah,

of course. I mean, you know, look, I came from the Gen X of like less calories

in, less fat in. And we didn’t even talk about sugar or protein or any that kind

of stuff. Protein was like for guys. I remember that, like, “Oh, we don’t want to

have too much protein.” I remember those words. And then I remember going to the

gym and being like, “I’m going to get on the treadmill. I’m going to sweat out all

my calories underneath the, you know, underneath the, whatever, the Stairmaster and,

you know, make sure that I am good and sweaty.” And I never want to, you know,

there was like the guy’s weight room back there where it was all like the black

mats and the mirrors and it smelled like sweat and the metal bar. And I was like,

“What? What’s going on back there. So my world has changed quite a bit. And I’m

excited because I feel like a lot of other women are hearing that. So I go into

the men’s weight room now in quotes, and it’s all women. And I’m like, this is so

great. This is the greatest thing. So my workouts kind of flipped on its head in

terms of, you know, how I do things. It’s weights and strength training 100%. Trying

to use my own body weight with certain things, whether it’s the bands or, you know,

or or if even smaller weights, that’s a big deal to me. Walking, I don’t know,

back in the day, it was like a walking as an exercise. Well, it is in a big way,

and so I do that all the time. And then I think with regard to lifestyle changes

of clothes and makeup and all that stuff, I tried to simplify a little bit in that

world. And not because I can’t wear something, but just because I feel like I just

wanted to be a little simpler these days. I want the granimals in my clothes. I

want my stuff to go together. I don’t want like a thousand things that I’m rifling

through that don’t fit anymore. So I put like, well, then the days I feel like

crap, I put that stuff in the front of the closet. And the days I feel great,

that’s, you know, I can wear the other stuff. So I just, I don’t know, that’s kind

of how my lifestyle has changed. And I interviewed a lot of people for this and

asked for a lot of help with it in terms of people’s stories and just wanted to

make sure that I think that we all felt the same way kind of. And then also make

sure that I put stories in there of people that had a kind of cool advice or

things to give, people are fascinating. So I’ve always loved doing interviews ’cause

I think people are fascinating and we can always learn from them.

Colleen:  – And their

stories, although very unique, have some undertones of connection. There’s certain

things we can all relate to. And I think as we get older, we relate even more so.

But again, women are afraid to talk about it until someone else stands up and says,

you know, Halle Berry, I’m in menopause, right?

Tamsen:  Exactly, exactly.

Colleen: And you also talk about the Mediterranean diet and healthy eating.

And it was interesting ’cause you mentioned fats, you put fats that harm, fats that

heal. And then others was everything that was my favorite, cookies, cakes.

I was like, of course the others would be Colleen’s diet.

Tamsen: – Yes, of course, of

course. I love them too, so.

 Colleen: – I know, it’s so hard. But again, I think as we get

older, moderation, we understand that we are at an age where we don’t want to be

deprived. It’s not about deprivation. It’s about health.

Tamsen: – And it doesn’t work. The

deprivation part doesn’t work because eventually you’re like, okay, I’m done with

that. And now I’m going to get to make up for all of that deprivation that I did.

So it doesn’t work like that. And look, I went through my own eating issues when I

was, you know, 24, 25, 26 years old. And you know, part of it was probably the

career path I chose. Part of it was, you know, just years of it was a cheerleader

first, and then I was a news anchor. It was like everything was very forward facing

and in skinny equaled success to me. Do you know what I mean? It was just very…

So I had gone through my own struggles with that and I’ve come to a really great

place with regard to nutrition and eating and not depriving myself to feeling like

that’s where my power lies and it feels really good. I can kind of enjoy my life

at the same time and not feel like I’m not getting to do else get,

you know, to take part in the world and eating is a huge part of it. You know,

it is and it’s something that I’ve had to learn. I’ve had to teach myself and

learn and focus on. And then I went back to school to get a coaching degree with

the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, which is really cool because I knew a lot

of the things, but then I got to like really understand different thoughts about

what nutrition is and what nutrition isn’t, that primary nutrition really isn’t food. It’s really

everything else in your life and all those lifestyles. So there was just some really

cool things that I’ve been able to do. So I don’t have that food war as good,

bad, good, bad all the time.

Bridgett:  – Right, so many, I feel like every woman has that

food war like you said.

Tamsen:  – Totally. – What is good is bad.

Bridgett: – Yeah, you know, another

thing that I really appreciate in your book is you talk about sex and you What

happened, you know, with you and your life and you went through a divorce, so many

women go through these lifestyle life changes, not just lifestyle, but life changes.

And you talk about your really or upfront honest includes so much in there.

Tamsen:  Thank You, it scared  my husband. He’s like “how much are you putting in there,”

because I would be laughing and stuff and I was like, you know, I said it’s edited

I’ll let you know much. And then when I went back and I read the final, I

was like, oh, I guess I got a little, I guess I unedited some of those things,

but anyway.

Bridgett:  – I think it’s really helpful. – It’s relatable. – It is so relatable.

And you know, what, I don’t know what was the encouragement you felt just like,

okay, this isn’t a taboo. We’re gonna talk about this.

Tamsen: – Yeah. – Yeah. – Well,

I was nervous at first because I was like, am I doing too much information? And

then the more I I asked for questions when you can see as so many of the stories

are in there, like there was one woman that said I felt like sex felt like cut

glass. And so I’m like, oh my gosh,  like all of those kind of things like

the relate you find those underlying tones and themes as you say. And so I

thought that was really important to put in there. And I thought it was really

important because I felt like if I brush that over like and our sex life is great

and we got remarried at 50 and it’s perfect like no it’s not and I needed to be

really honest about that and it’s true like we were you know I was in my guess my

peri menopause year so I was still like yeah when I met and then we got married

and then you know like right up until like I’m now it’s waning a little bit and

our honeymoon I’m in this like beautiful place I’m like what so So I thought it

was really important to do because it wasn’t that there’s something wrong with me,

it was something my body was changing, that’s it. And it wasn’t something wrong with

my husband and I didn’t love him any less, I love him more than ever. But there

were things that I had to get through and learn and focus on and pay attention to

and not just think that I’m gonna snap my finger and my sex life is gonna be

great like it was and it was whatever, 26 years old.

Colleen: – And I think That’s so

relatable for so many women that, especially in our demographic now, that are still

afraid to talk to their doctor. They’re still afraid to say, I’m having sex hurts

or I have no libido. So when they hear you talk about it in this book,

they’re like, okay, I can bring the book into the doctor and say, here’s the next

sample. – I think you just opened, where can I leave my libido?

Bridgett: – Yeah, yeah. I

mean, really, that’s such a great point, though, bringing it into the doctor because

you do have that there and you know what to ask, and you make that point as well

in the book that these are some things, these are some solutions. Can you do this

for me? If you can’t do this for me, like Colleen always says, and everybody, break

up with your doctor. You have… Yes.

Colleen: Yeah. Just have it there. It’s totally right.

If you’re ready to set boundaries in every other aspect of your life during the

midlife transition, your health should be first and foremost in setting those

boundaries. And now that there’s so much information, like your documentary, like the

book, like some of the physicians books, they have power in information and they can

go in and say, listen, Dr. This, Dr. That, and Tamsen told me, and there’s a, why,

you know, you, why don’t you know this? Or why Are you not willing to help me

with my struggle? Like a lot of doctors just, I’m not an advocate for HRT. Like

Dr. Malone said when she went to her appointment and she said, I didn’t ask you.

Tamsen: – That line, every time I see the film and I like laugh out loud with it still

and I’ve probably seen the film like 6 ,000 times, but she’s right. Like they’re

daring ask her that, knowing what she does as an OBGYN, can you imagine what

they’re doing to the rest of us? And so, you know, I, I, I wonder, I just wasn’t

really bold then, I just went to my appointment and got it over with and I figured

they were going to tell me what was ever important, you know, I just was like, I

got this appointment over with, you know, is everything okay? And I, and I just

accepted everything at face value. And now I realize that, I mean, luckily, I have

a doctor that I feel so comfortable with anyway, that I’m going in there like, and

da, da, da, da, da, but I just, I want other women to feel like that.

So I want this book to be their permission to go and you do whatever it is,

like you’ve got some answers or at least you’ve got some questions to ask. ‘Cause

that’s the other thing, I don’t have all the answers, but I want them to at least

be able to ask some questions. So if there’s something in there that helps evoke

something where they can ask a question for themselves, that’s really important for

me too.

Colleen: – You know, there’s so many great things in this book and you guys are

gonna have to read it because we don’t have time to talk about it all day here,

but you also touch on workplace issues. You touch on just what happens beyond

menopause. – Skin, hair. – The importance of community. Just so much valuable

information in this book that you guys, you got to check it out. And one of the

things that we have really been gearing this year, um, on is the conversation post

menopause. Now some people don’t like using the term post, but the reality is the

last five years menopause has really had a movement. And I think it is obviously

continuing to move. But once you’re past that 366th day, Hey, where do we go?

What do we do? And I think it’s really great that you include kind of riding the

happiness curve and talking about post -menopause ’cause that’s something that we need

to start addressing as well. So make sure, guys, you are checking out the book.

We’ll have the link in the show notes. Tamsen Fadal: , How to Menopause, Take

Charge of your Health, Reclaim your Life, Feel Even Better than Before. That’s a

tall order, but I think your book explains how to do that. Thank you so much for

coming on.

Tamsen: Thank you. Thank you so much.