Dani Alpert: The Girlfriend Mom, a Memoir | Hot Flashes & Cool Topics Podcast

EPISODE SUMMARY

Navigating romantic relationships at any age can be complicated. For Dani Alpert, however, “complicated” was taken to a whole new level when she, a woman who chose not to have children, ended up dating a man with two kids from a previous relationship. In today’s episode, we sat down with Dani to discuss her entire journey, and we stated with her professional journey. From a young age, Dani was interested in musical theater, and after studying at NYU’s film school and going to the American Film Institute for producing, she began working on shoots and writing screenplays. After a breakup and a brief move to Prague, she ended up back in New York and met a man with two children, a daughter and a son. We asked Dani why she never wanted to have children of her own, and she told us that for her, it was just never something she saw in her future. She never felt less than about it or pressured by others to have kids; it just wasn’t for her. We then talked about Dani’s experience moving in with both her boyfriend and his children. She told us that, at first, it was difficult to balance how involved she wanted to be. However, as time went on and she got to know the kids, she started seeking more responsibilities with them to bond with them more. This balancing act of parenting while also not wanting to replace the children’s actual mother is where the phrase “girlfriend mom” came from.

In regard to her romantic relationship, Dani never wanted to marry her boyfriend. She’d been married before, and after the experience, decided she did not want to go through it again. When it came to building a relationship with her boyfriend’s kids, Dani said that the process took time but that the kids embraced her from day one. We also asked how long the boyfriend had been single before they started dating, and she told us he’d been single for about two years and that Dani was the first girlfriend of his that was introduced to his children. We then asked about the breakup, and Dani said that unfortunately, it was a bad breakup. She ended up moving back to the city and struggled with trying to figure out how to maintain a relationship with her ex’s children while also respecting any boundaries they may have. A silver lining that came out of the breakup, though, was the relationship Dani made with the children’s mother. Since the son still lived with his mom, Dani would have to call and ask her if she could see him, and the mother was always gracious and invited Dani on numerous family outings. The two ended up becoming friends, and because of their bond, staying connected with her ex’s children became significantly easier.

To this day, she still has a great relationship with the children and continues to stay in touch with them. We asked if Dani had any advice for people struggling to maintain relationships with stepchildren, and Dani emphasized that reading the kids’ cues and respecting what they want is vital. For Dani’s Book, The Girlfriend Mom, she told us that blogging about her experience dating a man with children inspired her to share her story and write her book. Her ex’s daughter read the book and loved it, while the son has yet to read it. Dani then told us the best ways to get in touch with her are through her website and email address, and that her book can be purchased online or at bookstores. Finally, we asked if she had any plans to write another book, and Dani let us know that she actually does plan on writing a second book that picks up where The Girlfriend Mom ended.

Dani Alpert

Dani Alpert is a writer, performer, producer, and director who has spent over 25 years making a name for herself in the industry. She worked on a parody film, Lifetime Intimate Portrait…of a Complete Unknown, and some of her published credits include Medium, Huffpost, theWoolfer, Babble, Modern Mom, Stepmom Magazine, the Hollywood Journal, and Pilates Style Magazine. Dani is also an author, and her latest book, The Girlfriend Mom, is a memoir that takes readers through Dani’s journey as a woman who fell in love with someone who had kids and how their family dynamics were navigated over time.