DAPHNE ZUNIGA: EPISODE LINK

STILL THE PLACE PODCAST: LINK

TRANSCRIPT:

BRIDGETT:

I think it’s admirable too that I think that’s a great role model especially for

women because I also was from this huge family of women and I feel like I was

still plus I was in Kentucky I wasn’t in you know so it’s like you were Like you

said, it was what you were conditioned to do, but I love that there are people out

there in role models out there for women, especially younger women, to say you have

lots of options. You have lots of options in this world. 

 

DAPHNE:

You have infinite options.

You know, I’m child -free, as my girlfriend says. I love that phrase. I never wanted

them. I love children. I started out doing children’s theater and tutoring when I

was a student myself. I was in college. I’d go tutor in downtown in Los Angeles.

When I was even younger, I would go tutor younger kids. I really love kids. I have

a very sort of childlike sensibility about things. I’m very, and I said to my

sister, I’m just reminding myself, my sister has two kids. I said,

you know, when you were raising your two kids, I was raising my inner kid. Like, I

was doing all this inner child work with bright and really learning to.

And so on one hand, we understood each other. You know, I thought we didn’t. But

then I thought, you know, I’m teaching that to my boy, I’m teaching that to my

girl. And I was like, Oh, yeah, you know, like, pick myself up, you You know, and

don’t, and try to like tame the inner critic and either way you,

you know, we all do all works out. 

 

COLLEEN:

Yeah. It all works out, but you have to learn

your lessons in listening to you speak. There’s a self -awareness that it sounds like

you were born with that you just knew it was going to be okay. This is what I

needed to do and no one or or no societal norm was gonna keep you from doing what

you knew you had to do. And that’s a gift, not a lot of people have that focus

or that self -awareness to follow through with their path. So that’s a real gift.

DAPHNE:

 I agree, not a lot of people, I thought everyone did when I was younger.

(laughing) You know, when I was younger, I thought, “Well, I know what I’m gonna

do.” Like, And again, that gift, that sort of knowledge that I had as a young woman

being was encased in moving around, going to different schools,

my dad moved over here, my mom moved over here, we went to different places. So I

saw different people’s realities and I also didn’t have the same social norms.

I didn’t even know what a social norm was. I was kind of brought up on the outside a

fringe of that in the Bay area and Berkeley in the 60s. So our social norm was do

whatever the hell you want. I mean, so that was in a way that had its also its

pitfalls.

But I didn’t have anyone saying, well, when are you going to get married?

When are you going to have kids? No one ever said to me when you’re going to have

kids. There’s that. 

BRIDGETT:

Wow.

That’s awesome.

DAPHNE:

Until I got older and there were a few guys that I was

spending time with and I was like, you know, until I came here and had total

strangers telling me that and I was like, yeah, you do you. I’m good. 

BRIDGETT:

Oh, wow. I

mean, I don’t want to ever do that to my kids. I mean, I just don’t want to put

that pressure on them. 

DAPHNE:

Good. – Yeah. – But you’re too, like to, you know,

to know what that might do to them. – 

BRIDGETT:

Right, right. – 

DAPHNE:

To know what you prefer, how

you prefer to live. I think there’s a real wisdom, you guys, in this age that

we’re in. I think this is where all the wisdom is, frankly. It’s female,

it’s intuitive, it’s confident.

And we, You know, it’s from this perspective that you can even see that’s a social

norm. This is what feels real. This is what feels right. I don’t know why we’d go

after social norms. 

BRIDGETT:

Where was that born even right created that who created that?

DAPHNE:

Yeah. Yeah. What’s hiding? How long ago? So, you know, I just, I just feel like your podcasts, your podcasts, other people’s books

and podcasts, and just sharing with friends. This is, I think, what young people

could really learn from and hear. It’s not about just this male energy of striving

and number one, and either /or win /lose. It’s about connection. It’s about hearing

each other. I do wanna work with young kids again, at at some point,

somehow, I’m not sure how, but I’ve been seeing that for a while. That’s why I

love children’s theater, but. 

BRIDGETT:

And that’s always fun. 

I was an elementary

teacher. So it is fun. And I did a little bit, not like you did, with children’s

theater and not, I mean, just community theater in my little town and stuff. But it

was fun. That was the fun part of it. And I mean, I did it as a child and as a

teacher, you

COLLEEN:

 You know, yeah, and you know, we’ve talked to a lot of people whether

it’s business or personal and Mentors don’t necessarily have to be someone older than

you Mentors can often be younger. They can be kids. They can be young adults like

 I would choose the example of our kids teaching a social media because we

didn’t know but you know, it’s the Relationships they don’t always have to be

someone your age They can be someone younger who still teaches you something. And I

think as we get older, that’s a privilege we learn. They’re like, okay, I don’t

always have to be the mentor. Someone can be a mentor for me that’s 20 years

younger than myself. – 

DAPHNE:

Yes, and the fact that we know that reaching out is not only

a possibility, it’s probably the best option. The best option is very often asking

for help, period. Doesn’t make you weak, doesn’t make you dumb, doesn’t make you

just, it’s smart. And I’ve done that over the years. Are you kidding me?

I’ve taken people to lunch, I’ve talked on the phone about before playing a part,

I’ve talked to, you know, my teachers, who are now friends often,

I just ask. And I feel like and I do that with young people too.

You’re right. Because by the way, they’re on a whole other, like, I have so much

to learn.

COLLEEN:

True.

You can kind of select what, you know, you said that you’ve loved your career or

what you’ve done and you’ve worked in a lot of ensemble cast, which is great. Is

there something that you would like to still do in your career that you haven’t

done yet?

DAPHNE:

Um, I’m, let’s see,

I’d love to have fun. I’d love to do more comedy. Um, you know, I started out

doing comedy. I worked with, well, I worked with Mel Brooks and Rob Reiner and,

um, you know, all the comedians they worked with. And, uh, I was going to say I

worked with Lucille of all, but that wasn’t 

BRIDGETT:

I know the I saw that and I it was a

it was a different type. It was that her last role? 

 

DAPHNE:

That was her last role. 

BRIDGETT:

Wow.

DAPHNE:

She died a couple years later, I think. And she was nervous. She was nervous to do

1. Because she hadn’t worked in 15 years. I remember George, our director telling

us, you know, that Lucy is going to be nervous. I know we all like look up to

her and see a certain thing, but she’s also, you know, an actress who hasn’t worked

in a while.

So, but I guess I would, I loved who I worked with early on.

I, you know, when you’re young, you have a lot of things coming at you a lot. And

I think comedy is something that I would love to do again. And

So, there’s that. I also, I love directing. I shadowed a show,

Unreal. This is a good example of, this was probably six years ago.

I reached out to a peer of mine but who was on the studio side of things and

asked her if I could shadow because I would like to learn how to direct After

acting for 30 years and being on hundreds of sets since well, maybe a hundred sets

So she did she sent me up and said go shadow the show that I’m doing and I

shadowed on unreal this lifetime Wild show for the last season. I was there and I

just watched them, you know, and I was on set like I was usually, Like I had been

been for most of my adult life, but I was in a new position. I went on like

location hunting and was in the production office instead of in my trailer learning

my lines and you know it was the whole other side of it and it used more of me.

It used my brain which I really liked. I like being exhausted from doing good work and

working on a good production. I love that feeling. It’s a fantastic feeling. 

BRIDGETT:

And

when you want it, when you direct, you’re exhausted because you’re over like

everything, you’re looking over everything. 

DAPHNE:

Yeah, questions, tons of you have to think

of, you know, you have to activate other parts of your brain, which aren’t activated

as an actor. You have to see things from the outside and the script and the

visuals, you know, people are asking you things all day long. So I’d like to do

that again to answer your question. – 

BRIDGETT: 

That’s amazing. I mean, and you were in

probably a very iconic movie. I mean, “Spaceballs.” I mean, I mean,

the people are there, the comedy there. – Oh yeah. – I mean, what are your memories

of that? How do you look back on that? – 

DAPHNE:

I mean, they’re amazing. I

in my 20s and, you know, dressed up in a corset and in the middle of the desert

with John Candy dressed up in a dog outfit and Mel Brooks telling us,

you know, directing us. And I just remember going, wow, this is, and I remember

having a birthday. They brought me like this cake out to the desert, just Not a

memorable cake, but I was like if this is the best birthday ever, you know I

remember just the play that he instilled in us like Mel Brooks is very funny and at the same

time that he’s a comic genius obviously just how his mind works He’s also very

serious about budget and the time and the money and you know,

so he’s, he’s like a producer and a player. Like he just also has a very,

he kept saying, remember the kids, this is for the kids. Forget everything else,

it’s for the kids. They just want, you know, we just want them to have fun. So

there was a great experience. – 

BRIDGETT:

That’s, it’s just iconic. You know, first of all,

working with Mel Brooks and then Joan Rivers. Now, was she just voice over or did

she just voice over? 

DAPHNE:

That was a world -class mime,

Lorraine Yarnell. 

BRIDGETT :

Oh wow. Oh my gosh. Oh yeah,

yeah. Yeah, I remember them. 

DAPHNE:

Tiny petite mime in there,

poor woman, and like she’s just sweat in there and all the, but you know, Joan got

to come in later and just do the trick. I met her later.

I wouldn’t mean drink like she was a drinker, but she was doing what I wanted to

1. –

COLLEEN:

 She was hydrated. – She was hydrated. – Oh my goodness. And I wanted to ask,

’cause I totally forgot you played Michael J. Fox’s girlfriend. – 

BRIDGETT:

I was gonna say

that. That’s when I first saw you in that episode. – 

COLLEEN:

I was like, – Oh my gosh, I

totally forgot that. What was that like? – 

DAPHNE:

That was my first year out. That was a

great comedy. In fact, they were going to keep me on. I understand,

make me his girlfriend.

I did two episodes and then I got a movie, The Sure Thing,

that Rob Reiner was directing. And I read that script and was like, oh my God. And

it was, you know, starring in a movie. So my agents and I loved the script said

we’re going to go do this.

So I remember Michael J. Fox telling me, oh, you’re going to go off and do movies,

are you? And because back then you either did TV or movies, though you kind of

made a choice there. Now everyone does everything. But anyway,

so

Conveniently, I went off to do that and Tracy Pollan came in to play his

girlfriend.

And of course, the rest is history, they’ve been married for all these years. 

COLLEEN:

See, you can say you

brought that together. 

BRIDGETT:

Look at you. Look what you did for them.

COLLEEN:

That’s a matchmaker. 

DAPHNE:

Yeah, but that was great. That was great fun. And I worked

with him again on Spin City. And that was great comedy. I loved, I mean, the

sitcom stuff is a very specific kind of comedy. I was with someone the other day

and he said it’s math, you know, it’s like math. It’s like, and it’s how I

describe Michael J. Fox when he on Spin City. He said, that’s a great line that

you have and I love your delivery. If I may just offer, it’ll get a laugh.

But if I want you to bring the house down, Wait one more beat

so I Waited one more beat and did that everyone because it’s like you the audience

needs to hear it Do but it um, you know like and I didn’t know that I kind of

it takes a real confidence But he was he was great. So I got to work with him

again, too. It was wonderful. 

COLLEEN:

Wow. Is there anybody you get starstruck from?

DAPHNE:

Like everyone

Yeah, I mean, I would say the people that, you know, older that that I’ve looked

up to the I’ve never met Meryl Streep or Robert De Niro, those types, those are my

what we looked up to an acting class, the so it’s who you look up to,

I think that you get starstruck from, you know? But I’m very kind of like, I don’t

know. I feel like I always have this sort of, and it’s weird.

I think it’s an illusion. And I think you probably perceive me as what? Why would

she think that? But I feel like why would he or she take my call? You know what

I mean? I don’t know, they’re over where I’m over here kind of thing. And so you

have to get over that, especially if you’re going to develop, which I’m developing

stuff. And if you’re going to be in this business, you realize we’re all in this

business. We’ve all trying to make it work. We’re all, you know, so I feel like

it’s just the mind does weird things like that. – Yeah, I can see that.

 

COLLEEN:

 You’re into

development now. that’s kind of the next step you want to take? – 

DAPHNE:

Well,

I think, I mean, I’ve been, I’ve developed a couple of things and what’s, it’s like

this infinite mountain of, every time you go,

(both laughing) – Yeah, yeah. – But yeah, we’re,

I mean, I, Laura and I are developing that we’re on the developing team.

There are other people involved now that are– – 

COLLEEN:

For the reboot? – Reboot. – 

BRIDGETT:

That

would be amazing. – 

DAPHNE:

I just always, you know, my husband’s like, why don’t I run for

president? Why don’t I run for mayor?

Things are gonna get done. I get so impatient, but there are,

you guys may not know this, but there are forces out there that are beyond our

control. (laughing) (laughing) – Unfortunately.

COLLEEN:

Well, if it happens, we would love for you to come back and chat all about it.

Thank you so much for coming on this show today. It was a blast. We’ll probably

make this into two episodes. We probably will. Yeah. It happens.

It’s true. We start talking – And then we lose track of time. – There’s so much we

haven’t commented this age and this stage of life. And that’s what our listeners

always say. We feel like we were just sitting there, listening at a table talking

to you guys. And then it was just, oh, I get that. I get that. – Yeah. – Yeah.

– DAPHNE:

I feel like you, if someone listens to you, I’ve listened to a few others. You

have a lot of, you know, everyone has a different point, a different experience. So,

and everyone’s at different places on the menopause trail, it’s like, yes.

Yeah. I go through different things in Courtney who’s going through different things

than, you know, I have friends in the 60s already and it’s completely different.

It’s a wonderful, large part of our lives. And I’m really glad people like you are

opening up this book and talking about it because It’s, it needs to be opened and

experienced and lived because it’s a very fruitful time and many years.

BRIDGETT:

Right. 

DAPHNE:

You’re not, no one’s shriveling up and shutting down shop. You know? Yes.

Yeah. We’re all living longer. We’re all healthy longer. Right. God willing and

health willing. So it’s, there’s different things to be lived in experience for the

first time in this. 

BRIDGETT:

Yes. The other thing is, and I, I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

So I always say that like, nobody told me I was going to be, this is going to be

the happiest time of my life. I never heard anyone say that. 

Except for the other women that are around my age. When I hear them, it’s the

best. 

COLLEEN:

It is the best kept and I think Bridgett and I are naturally evolving the

podcast into post menopausal women, what are we doing? Where are we going from here?

The trailblazing women that have already kind of set the tone. And it’s just great

to see women going, no, this is great. I didn’t, you know, the, the ageism

connection, it doesn’t really apply, you know, it’s just, – You know,

it does and it doesn’t like it does. 

DAPHNE:

And one, what I love about well what I love

about our culture right now in general is that people are breaking down these walls

of this old societal norm if you want to you see more than that then with

people of color with this younger generation who’s like saying we’ve had it you guys

have wrecked the planet we’re gonna you know we’re gonna vote we’re gonna do these

things to fix the stuff you’ve done so it’s not like people are like when we were

all, you know, in the 80s and 90s even, and when we were doing Melrose Place,

those stories are so male driven.

And, you know, again, I’ve been working on something for a few years with this.

So I’ve seen every single episode.

And the stuff is, some of it’s timely, some of it’s nostalgic and that’s the part

that we all love like we just want to return to that perceived freedom when we’re

younger and oh you know whatever maybe I make the wrong choice but there’s always

tomorrow you know and I’m going to go get a jean jacket or a vest or whatever

name my car you know who knows but what I like about now,

and you guys are a part of it, is that we’re pushing open, oh yeah, let’s

investigate. And you know who’s going to investigate? The human beings that like to

talk and and probe and inquire and connect.

And that’s middle -aged women. 

COLLEEN:

Yeah, that’s so true. That’s so true.

DAPHNE:

When you move into that, You know reach out to me out because I have a lot of

friends in their in their 60s and the ones I’ve looked up to I go To a meditation

group and there are they’re all in their 60s. 

COLLEEN:

I’m like, we would love that We

would that would be really yeah, because honestly, it’s like when we started this

podcast We were 52 Bridgett was post -menopausal. I was peri then I luckily thought

I was gonna be the oh I thought I was gonna tell her she was gonna get ever have

– I said, now that we’re opposed, we’re like, “Okay, we don’t only wanna talk about

meno,” and that’s why we kind of have it titled, “Cool Topics,” ’cause we wanna talk

about all the cool things women are doing at this stage of life and how much there

is still to look forward to and how much adventure, and it’s never too late to

learn and try and pivot. – 

DAPHNE:

And there’s also, don’t forget, at this end of it,

like now there’s also a new phase of it, which is the end is closer than behind

you, right? And your parents are sick or dying, and your friends are sick and

dealing with heavy so you’re, it’s all good. Hey,

you’re doing great. There’s a whole other thing that comes into my brain, which is

you know really uh being alive and being here now in the physical is uh profound

more profound in a way because you’re this age you know you’re not dealing with the

the body stuff so much you’re dealing with um the meaning of things and I just

went to have lunch with my dad and uh who’s 86 and um questioning just you know I

don’t know just I think that for women and I hope and for men too for for both

this whole period what should we should listen more to our elders we should listen

to I know yeah so true what’s value there I know if I could

frankly, the mystics, the people. – 

COLLEEN:

Yeah, oh yeah. I’m always telling my mother to

write her story down, write down your lessons, write them down. She’s like, oh, you

don’t wanna know. – No. – Yes, we do. – We do. –

BRIDGETT:

 Oh, ’cause both of my parents have

passed and boy, if I could have them tell me. – Just their thoughts. – Yeah, like

what was, and I’m thinking, why didn’t I ask this? You know, you’re younger and you

just didn’t know to ask or you didn’t, I don’t know what you’re doing. 

But that’s,

yeah, that’s a really good point though and best so I was, I wasn’t there to ask,

but it is important because as someone that has, you know, lost both of my parents,

I’m like, I do have my older siblings to ask, but it is, it’s difficult to figure

it out. 

DAPHNE:

I think, frankly, you guys are on the doorstep of that Um,

it’s going to be a real growth for our whole culture because the West sort of

dismissed the old. We don’t honor. We do go live over there. Absolutely. Do

cultures around the world. They don’t, they move in and you’re there with these

different generations and you’re just, you’re around them, the young people with the

grandmas and the young kids and they’re just rounded and it’s

We’re not. So, um, yeah, that’s a longevity. Dan Buettner, the,

um, Blue Zones author. 

COLLEEN:

Oh, yeah, we had him on a couple of years ago and there is

a very big open discussion on longevity and are you going to live a long time

healthy or are you just going to live a long time? 

DAPHNE:

And I think our parents

generation is the first generation to live longer, but they really weren’t not much

for health. 

COLLEEN:

Yeah, they weren’t their health wasn’t to say our generation really is

the first to say, okay, we want to be healthy longer. We don’t want to just live

longer. We want to have a health span that’s longer. And I think that’s kind of an

untapped conversation that we would love to dive into. 

DAPHNE:

Yeah. Well,

it’s all ahead of you. Look at all the things you have people to reach out to

– Right. – Share your knowledge with, you know, just because I’m this age doesn’t

mean I know what you guys know, like about the hormones and about all the people

you’ve talked to. So it’s really valuable. I mean, I’m gonna follow and download.

Sign up. – 

BRIDGETT:

Oh, thank you. – Thank you. – Thank you so much. 

COLLEEN:

And honestly, please

come back anytime. And if you know people that you think would be a great

connection or conversation, please let us know. We’d be happy to have them on the

show. – Great, I would love to. – Thank you so much, Daphne for coming on the

show. – 

DAPHNE:

Thank you.