How to Find the Correct Fitting Bra: Episode Link
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On this episode, Lori Kaplan, also known as the fairy bra mother, discusses her career in the lingerie industry and the importance of wearing the right bra size. She shares her journey of starting in retail and eventually opening her own bra store in New York City. Lori emphasizes the need for personalized fittings and explains how different bra sizes can vary across brands and countries. She also addresses common concerns such as underwire bras, back riding up, and strap marks. Lori highlights the positive impact of finding the right bra fit on women’s self-esteem and overall well-being. The conversation touches on topics like menopause and cooling inserts for bras.
TRANSCRIPT:
Welcome back to Hot Flashes and Cool Topics. Today we are going to have a conversation that so many women are going to want to listen to and we are welcoming Lori Kaplan to the show.
She is nicknamed the fairy bra mother and we are excited to talk to you about all things breast related. Welcome to the show. Thank you. you. Thanks for having me. You have been doing this for over 40 years and you have sized women like Bette Midler and Barbara Streisand,
but how did you get into doing this as a career? Okay, it’s a long story. That’s okay. We have time. Basically is I had to drop out of school when I was a teenager to help my mom support the family.
My dad died unexpectedly when I was 15 years old. I cut all the typing classes back in those days. You know,
you could take office skills and things like that. And I didn’t like it. So I didn’t go to those classes. So I couldn’t type. I didn’t have any secretarial skills. And I found myself at 18 years old,
dating a full -time job back in the 1970s. 1970s. And there really wasn’t a place for me except in retail. And I started working for this guy who had a shop in the Rockefeller Center area.
And because of the proximity to the theaters, the wardrobe people for all the shows would come in asking, do you have this? Do you have G -strings? Do you have sheer to the waist support hose? I need a dance belt.
And he didn’t carry any of those things. That wasn’t how what his business was. But when I came along and I started to hear, you know, it’s like, oh, we’re gonna need six dozen tights every week. You know,
I took over how that business was run and managed. And I was with that guy for 20 years, took him through two expansions and he kept promising,
don’t worry, I’m gonna take care of you. I’m gonna take care of you. And he never did. And I woke up one day in my 40s and I’m still working for him. And I, had nothing. And during that time, I went back to college,
and I got a bachelor’s degree and a master’s degree. And I became restless working for him and said, I’m doing everything to run this business.
Why am I still doing it for him? And I had an injury to my knee and something happened at the shop where I asked him to move a big box and he didn’t move the box and I re injured myself and I just like like stormed out in a huff.
He didn’t pay his bills so there was a vendor there, repossessing merchandise which till this day I have never encountered again. Oh my gosh. And I just said you know what and pardon my French I said this and I walked out and I went home and I cried for two weeks.
I think 20 years is a long time and we had a relationship we were kind of our friends. So after two weeks of sitting on my couch and crying that my phone started ringing with people said,
“Hi, I was just over at SNS and I need some skin tone G -strings for black girls. Do you have that? Joel told me no.” And I said, “Yeah, I can get those.” And little by little somebody called me,
“I’m working on a movie and I need to get some bullet bras and bobby socks and old lady granny panties.” I said, “What’s the name of your movie?” movie? And he said, oh, that’s a beautiful mind with Russell Crow.
So that was like my first break. And then after that, I got calls from the producers and 42nd Street and Thoroughly Modern Millie. They were all looking for things at the shop that I worked at was known to supply,
but they couldn’t get it anymore. And within six months, I was looking to rent space in the city and that guy was out of business. And here we are. 23 years later. What a great story.
It just goes to show that when staff is not appreciated, they get the education and they move forward. It doesn’t matter that you’re in your 40s, you can create a new business because you have the experience.
Yeah, and you have to be flexible and adapt to the times and the world was changing in the late 90s, you know, UPS call. us and said, Oh, you’re not going to be able to handwrite handbills anymore,
you’re going to have to do them through a computer. And by the way, we have to do everything through a credit card machine now, you know, and, and technology started to enter our world.
And he didn’t like that, you know, he didn’t want he was he was a technophobe, he was already in his late 60s back then. then. He didn’t have it in him or the curiosity or interest to learn something new.
And I did, you know, and I’m still that way. I’m right now I’m taking Spanish with Duolingo and I’m taking an English, teaching English as a second language kind of thing, because I’m just curious and I like to learn.
And I think education is something you can never have too much of and it only ends when you’re in the grave. So So I was already running his business and kind of adapting to changes in the world and the market.
So, you know, it was just a scary thing for me. Well, it worked. I was going to say it worked. It might have been scary, but you took that step and look where you are now. You know,
how women and bras, our relationships are not always, you know, a winning relationship. A lot of women either. just don’t know what to ask the right questions So and as we get older and they start going south you just you don’t know what to do So you’re the owner of broad tenders,
which is a broad in New York Brock store in New York City Or really lingerie store in New York City when a woman walks in and she really isn’t sure if she’s wearing the right size What’s the first thing you ask or look at?
at? Well, we work by appointments. So we ask people to make appointments and they spend 45 minutes with somebody whose attention is focused directly on them.
And what we ask is, you know, so what’s going on with your bra? Tell me your bra story, what are the issues and what’s your life like and what are you looking to solve today?
Because we get people that often make appointments here that have a particular dress or outfit. in mind that they need help with undergarments, especially brides, you know, wearing a strapless dress.
I have big boobs and I can’t find the bustier to fit me or, you know, so it’s usually because they don’t know what size the bras that they’ve been wearing are uncomfortable. And they’re tired of the straps falling down and doing this all day and the wiggling around and,
you know, after they’ve tried online. online shopping in the back of 420 times and they’ve been everywhere and tried everything when they finally come to us and one of our professional fitters can get their eyes on them they say you’re not a 35 4b that’s what your problem is you’re a 32e and then that brings it’s whole a whole other gamut of problems because there is no universal sizing in the broad world so american
companies will do A, B, C, D, E, F, G. European companies will do the same. And then there’s the British companies that will do C,
D, double D, E, F, double F, G, double G, and H. And there is no standard size. So a 34 double D in an American bra is gonna fit different than a 34 E in a French bra.
is going to fit different than a 34e from a full figured brand. So there’s little, you know, and what we do here and our specialty is that we know how all the bras fit,
you know, which cups run deep and which ones run shallow and which bands run tight. So it saves a lot of time. You come here and in 30 minutes you can walk out with a whole bra wardrobe that you haven’t been able to do in 20 years.
you know. Well, that sounds almost too easy because so many, you know, there’s a lot to unpack there. So when you walk in, is the tape measure out ready to do the bus size?
Like, do we even use that? I was going to say, do we even use tape measures anymore? We do not. We eyeball. I can look at anybody and usually within one or two guesses get their size spot on.
And the other fitters who work here and one is just is a graduate of FIT, studying lingerie design. And she’s also still interested in upping her skills.
And then Alex, who works here, is a dresser for Broadway. So they’re all familiar with body types and how bras should fit. And we can all just look at somebody and know what size they should be.
– If a woman is not able to come into your show, I’d like to know what size they should be. there is virtual, right? Like they can virtually do after virtual. It’s a little trickier, you know, because there is still some of that back and forth.
But it does save a lot of time because once we look at you, if you tell me you’re a 38 double D and I have my eyeballs on you, I will know that you’re 34 G or a double G. So,
you know, at least you’re going to get a shipment from us in the right ballpark. After that, it’s. it’s just a matter of refining and what’s more comfortable for you, like this band size or that band size?
And is that cup adequate or do we need to go up or down? So there’s a fine tuning process that happens with that. But women are relieved when they finally get something that feels good to them,
that makes them look how they want to look. So let me ask you a few questions. One of the first ones ones that I hear, to underwire or not to underwire,
is it important for women who have larger breasts to wear underwire? – For a very long time, that’s all that’s been available. Well, you know, what an underwire does is like it creates a neat little package for your breasts.
So it just, it makes the shape prettier. It is not required. It does add some strength to your breasts. But what it does is it provides a container for the breast tissue.
bras without wires have a different shape. It just distributes the weight of the breast tissue differently across the front of the body. And frequently the boobs go east and west and wind up heading towards the armpits.
Okay, what that does is make your body look wider. And what we’re going for is to make make you look longer and leaner and by getting a bra that removes the weight from the side of your body and brings it to the front and sets them up high where they started before 20 years of gravity got at them.
It changes the shape of your body and we have a lot of women that say they feel like they look 10 pounds thinner and it’s true if you pick your boobs if they’re heavy if you pick them up off your belly and put them up.
here, your body, you’re gonna see your waist and more of your body so it does create a different shape. – Is it possible to get that lift without wearing underwire? Like is it possible for a sports bra or something with– – You can,
but again, it’s, you know, the shape is not gonna be the same. Your breasts are not gonna be centered up here. They’re gonna be spread out a little wider. – And what about straps?
I don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t know what I’m talking about. – Wait. Women, some women can wear thin straps, some women can wear thick. Do you get more support from having a thicker strap on your bra? – Well, especially if your breasts are very heavy.
An average D cup weighs about four pounds. So by the time you’re halfway through the alphabet and you’re up to a J cup, you’re talking about a lot of weight to carry around and a ribbon is not going to do it.
So most of the bras as the cup sizes go up the… straps get gradually wider. I know a lot of women don’t like that, but if you think of something the size of a shoelace trying to hold up 10 pounds of weight,
it’s going to create a lot of pressure on your neck and shoulders. And we don’t like that. The straps from your bra should never dig into your shoulders. That’s not where the support comes from. 90 % of the support from a bra comes from the band being snug,
which is why it’s so important to get the right size. And yes, a 38D might fit you if you’re a 34G, but it’s not going to give you the proper support.
It’s not going to fit well. How can a woman, like if they can’t get to you, how can a woman know what to ask, like what to look for in a bra for themselves?
Can they do any… any research on their own so that they walk in and feel like, okay, I know what I’m looking for? – Well, you know, the best thing is, anybody who’s within a reasonable distance to a store that does bra fittings,
they should go and be fit by somebody who knows what to look for and then tells you, you know, the wires should be back here where your breasts start, not cutting your boob in half over here. – Sure. You can measure underneath your breasts at the very top of your rib cage and that number will give you ballpark what your band size should be.
So if you measure underneath your boobs and you’re 33 .5, you round up to a 34. Then you would measure across the fullest part of your bust and say that’s a 38.
You subtract 34 from 38 and you get a difference of 4. which would be a D cup, you know, every letter for a bra size is one inch away from the chest wall.
So we start counting it B’s not A’s because with A’s there’s really no projection there. So we start counting it B. So it would be B, C, D,
double D. It would be a 34 double D in our world. Wow. See, I just had… an aha moment. I didn’t realize that BCD was like an inch away from your chest wall.
– Yeah. – Wow, see, so many things that we are not– – You have to still stand up straight like that, you know? – Right! (laughing) What happens if they’re like a G but they’re down at your hips, you know what I mean?
– Yeah, so it’s really important to find something that’s gonna lift them and support them that’s not gonna kill your back, shoulders, and neck. neck. – What about women who complain that like, either the back rides up between their shoulder blades or they get those strap marks?
What are they doing wrong? – If the bra is between the shoulder blades, that means the band is too big. And then they’re making the straps too tight, trying to get that lift that they can’t get because the band is too big.
– So, you know, if the back of your bra is up, up here and then everything that’s in the front is down here. (laughing) – Like a seesaw is what you’re saying. – It is, and you want the back of your bra to be in exactly the same place that it is in the front.
They should, it should be anchored and they should be perpendicular to the floor and it should be the same in the front and the back. They shouldn’t be up high between your shoulder blades or down around your waist.
– What about? about how often should we change our bras? Every year. Every year. Because they’re so expensive. Every year. Yeah. Elastic doesn’t live forever.
Your body chemicals, your sweat, whatever soap and lotions and potions you add to your body interact with the fibers from the broth and break it down.
And you know, and of and drip dry the machines kind of beat them up and the dryers the heat from the dryers eats the elastic.
Okay, that’s good to know. Are there certain brands as we get over 4050 that are better support better addressing the needs of women in our demographic are there better are there certain brands we should look for.
You know, know, there are so many brands today. I can’t say that that’s true anymore. You know, Wacol is one of the biggest manufacturers in the world and they make bras for petite figures and average figures and full figures and they now own a British company.
So they do band sizes down to 28 and cup sizes up to double K, English sizes. So. So any of the fantasy Yvden,
Wacol are our best sellers and for a wire free bra, for heavier breasts is Evelyn and Bobby, they have a range of bras, one called the Defi that pulls over your head and then there’s the beyond bra that has adjustable straps and opens in the back that goes up to three X and fits quite an ample size.
size. And no wires and seamless. – Really? Oh, see, that’s good to know. That’s great for women to be able to look into. And that kind of leads me into the drama of the strapless bra.
You know, I have yet to find, and I’m not that big busted, but I have yet to find a strapless bra that does not just slide down if you’re wearing it. – Yeah, that would be because the bag…
is too big or the cup stone fits. Usually the wrong size when something doesn’t fit because we sell a lot of strapless bras here and we have actors that are tap dancing on Broadway in some of the bras that we sell.
There is a bra out there that’ll stay up and just have to make a little, you know, everybody wants the magic thing to happen without making any effort. I want to sit in front of my computer.
and oh, that looks nice. What’s my size? I don’t know. Let’s just, so go pick a random size, 36C, 5C. And you have to go and make a little bit of effort,
especially if it’s a special occasion. You want to look super good. You got to, you can’t just buy a bra. You got to buy the bra for you for the occasion that you need it for.
And there’s a million options. Right. – Right, and it can be overwhelming. You know, when we were younger, we would walk into Victoria’s Secret and be like, “I’ll take that one, I’ll take it.” But that doesn’t work as we get older anymore. Our body changes so much.
– And what you want changes, you know? And what you’re willing to do and changes as you get older, you know? I never went out of the house without a bra before I was 60 years old.
And this past summer, I had an accident. And I broke the bar. both my ankles. So I was in a wheelchair. And I had to go to the doctor a few times. And I said, you know what, I’m not putting on a bra.
I’m going out of the house. I’m not putting on a bra. That was the first time in my life, I’m wearing a bra since I’m 13 years old. Because I just, you know, you get properly dressed and a bra is part of the wardrobe that you put on every day.
But now I found the Evelyn and Bobby Brogds. And I like those. – Well, that’s good to know. And, you know, ’cause women are confused about, and I think it affects a lot of women’s self -esteem.
When they put on a bra and it doesn’t fit right or they look in the mirror and the shirt shows the lines or what do you notice for women when they get that right fit,
when you give them a bra that actually supports them? – Yeah, women have bra. into tears in our fitting room from happiness, you know, that it’s like, “Oh my God, I feel like Goldilocks,
I finally found the one that’s just right.” We’ve got letters, thank you letters from people, you changed my life, I felt so bad about myself. We have mothers to call us,
you changed my daughter’s life. 12 year old girl, she’s a 34 G and thinks God is punishing her with these big breasts. And you know, we… brought her in and we got her a sports bra that minimized the way she looked and made her feel strapped in and secure.
So she wasn’t self -conscious. Her mother said she became a different girl. Another woman said her daughter was a 30E, walked around like this for her whole life. And after putting on a bra that fit her finally,
changed her whole personality, she was finally happy. So it can be a life altering. experience to have a broad bidding and find, you know, find the thing you’ve been looking for for most of your life,
it’s alluding to you. And it’s really, it’s so simple, but it is the most inexpensive, most cost -effective, least painful way to change your appearance immediately,
immediately by putting on a bra. There’s no blood. there’s no surgery, there’s no anesthesia. You know, five minutes and you look like you had a boob job.
Wow. And what’s light to style people like Bet Midler and, you know, all the celebrities and the Broadway stars, is it over? Like when you walk in and they need to be sized,
is it a weird experience? It is because, you know, celebrities think it’s weird. they know everything. I knew Beth Midler from when she shopped at my old shop in the 19,
when she was still doing the gay bathhouses, you know, in the 1970s, she used to shop at that store and she liked this big old strapless long line bra by the goddess bra company because that was one of the only straplesses you could buy in a double D and she always bought 36 double D in that book.
bra. And when I finally met her when she was on a Broadway show, determine that she’s really a 32 F. She’s tiny. She’s really tiny,
but she’s got big boobs and she was happy. And she said, you know, it’s like, I feel too wide here, but you have to be very diplomatic with celebrities because they go into fittings,
they dictate what happens in the fitting. [BLANK _AUDIO] I’m sorry, you’re coming into my world for a bra. You can’t tell me what you need. You’re here because you don’t know what you need. So stop talking and listen to me and let me do what I’m supposed to do.
And with celebrities, that’s a little tricky. – That’s really interesting, but not surprising, but really interesting. Do you like walk down the street and go, “Hmm, yeah, she should be into this.” Like,
just notice women wearing the wrong bra. Yes. When I was married, my ex used to go over to women that he would see in the street with big breasts that were bouncing up and down and give them a business card and say,
come see my wife. And I said, you know, someday somebody’s going to stab you if you do that. Not such a good idea. But yes, I frequently would like to do an ambush makeover on somebody.
I can only imagine. And, you know, one of the things that I think is so interesting you know those suction cup bras do they really work because I’ve tried them much like like the sections that just kind of it’s like a gel and you just put it on your breasts and it’s do they actually because I think they would slide down.
No the glue that they use on the backing of that is pretty strong. Does it give you any support? Not really unless you know they will add a little shape and if you’re wearing a skin tight dress that’s gonna hold your boobs in place it’s just I think it’s more like a psychological thing for a lot of women and up to a D cup if your breasts have some integrity and they’re still a little perky they work but you
really don’t get any lift. You know, there’s new tapes now, so you would start underneath your breast below your nipple, and then you just like pull the whole thing up and tape it.
So yes, you do get some lift, but, you know, it requires a fairly thick tape and fairly aggressive adhesive to hold up 10 pounds of boobs that way,
but there’s a lot of products on the market now. now that work very well for that. – And you carry all different things at the store. Can you tell me what you carry at the store? – Brass and shapewear are mostly known,
what we’re known for. We carry a lot of specialty, like for brides and bridal low back things and body suits that are backless and plunge fronts. We carry a lot of shapewear.
We do a line of modesty pieces for that. the theater, like for nude scenes, when men are supposed to look naked, but they really don’t want to be naked.
We have about seven or eight items that come in three different skin shades that we sell for that. We have a line of hosiery that we sell for a skin layer for stage and screen.
It comes in eight or nine different skin tones and up to four X and And unusual things that you can’t really go into Macy’s or Bloomingdale’s and ask for like an open bottom girdle or stockings with seams,
you know. So we sell knee highs and ankle highs and thigh highs and stockings for girdles and garters and pantyhose and tights and support hose and shear to the waist and control top.
Anything that touches skin we carry. carry. And we are things like roll of garters for stockings and sock garters for men, men’s underwear. – I asked that because I looked on your website.
I was like, okay, that’s interesting for men, you know what I mean? But if you need it, then you know, you can, you know where to find it. So that’s good. My last question be,
what are some absolute don’ts in the world? bra world for women? Like you don’t wanna do this, you don’t wanna do that. What would be one or two don’ts that you would say to women? – You know,
there’s like no police, bra police. – There’s fashion police. – One of the best to get something that fits you the best it can, you know? And I think a lot of women that waste,
a lot of money it’s like I’m gonna go to Target or I’m gonna go to Coles or something and oh look there’s a $5 bra but the best thing you can do is figure out what your size is because then you can buy pretty much anything but buying something because it’s $5 when you don’t know if it’s gonna fit or not and then you can’t return it for me that’s kind of a waste of money learn your size and then wait until the
end of the season season when they’re discontinuing prints and fashion and they’re changing the laces and then you can get an $80 bra for $40. Don’t buy things just because they’re cheap and don’t buy things just because they’re expensive buy the best thing that you can afford for your life and your body.
– And it sounds like take care of them so they last a little longer. – Yeah, and if you’re a D cup don’t take your A cup front shopping. for a bra. Because we’ve had girls here, where you know, A cups think they’re given good advice to their friend who’s an F.
And it’s like, don’t listen to your friends if they don’t have breasts and they don’t identify with your particular problem having big breasts. (laughs) – Right, ’cause I know so many women who have back problems because of large breasts and they’re either not wearing the right bra or just carrying them all day.
– Yeah, yes. there’s a lot to carry around and it is a drag on the neck. I had breast reduction surgery 25 years ago because my had a pain in my neck that didn’t ever go away and I couldn’t sleep.
There was just so much there and it’s the best thing I ever did. I would do it in a heartbeat again. – Well, that’s good to know. Lori, thank you so much for coming on and answering our questions on bra and shapewear,
you know, for a lot of people. of women, it’s an overwhelming process and they’re uncomfortable every day. When you’re uncomfortable, it affects the way you live your life. It sure does. Makes you crabby and cranky and not nice to be around.
And then add menopause onto it and then no one wants to be around you. I have a friend, when she was going through menopause, we used to belong to a women’s group and we had weekly meetings and she would just like stand up in the front of the room and take off her top and then tear off her bra.
You know, it’s like, just be so overwhelmed like cooking from the inside out. She would be so hot that she would just strip in front of the room of women, excuse me, but I’m having a hot flash and I can’t deal with it right now.
– Oh my, do you ever have those cool, we found cooling inserts that you can put into bras. They’re like Joy Lux carries them. There’s a company called. Joylux. And they can’t,
so if anybody ever asks if they come and say I’m menopausal and I need, I’m like just having hot flashes, there’s actual, you put them in the freezer and then you can just insert them in your bras to keep you a little cool.
– And put your bra in the freezer. – That’s true. Bypass that and just stick your bra. That’s a very good point. – Marilyn Monroe used to do that in the summer. – With her bras in a freezer.
So she would stay cool. – She was ahead of her time. Thank you so much, Lori, for coming on. I appreciate it, and we appreciate all your answers to the questions that a lot of women have about their bras. – Thanks,
and you can reach out to us at support @broadcunders .com if you have any other questions. – Absolutely, and we’ll have all those links in the show notes. – Okay, cool. – Thank you. (upbeat music)