IONE SKYE: EPISODE LINK

SAY EVERYTHING: BOOK LINK

Photo Credit: Cybele Malinowski

TRANSCRIPT:

Bridgett: Welcome back to Hot Flashes and Cool Topics. Everybody listen, today you’re going to

know this because most of our listeners are Gen X women. We have Ione Skye on today.

Welcome to the show.

Ione: Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Bridgett: Well, Ione has just released a book in the past probably week or two.

Ione: Yes. Yeah, it is titled Say Everything.

Bridgett: So Say Everything : A Memoir, which you know, is very similar to the one of the

movies that we know her so well from, Say Anything. And it is really such a

wonderful, I don’t know, compelling, just, it’s almost always a soul bearing story.

Why did you feel like this was such a good time to release and write this book?

Ione: Well, there was some interest in what would spark the thought was there was a

podcast called Celebrity Book Club and these two women talk about, you know, memoirs

and things. And they were curious how my mother would let me at such a 16 -date,

a 24 -year -old drug addict, musician. And so I sort of did a clap back or whatever

it’s called, saying, well, my mother was really sick to her stomach over it. And

then people were just curious about the ’90s. And I just wanted to talk about my

life, you know, with my father gone, and beingthe musician and what it was like for

me. And I’m kind of a remote person to most people, but my friends know me. So it

felt just really good to have people know my mind and how I feel in my side of

things in a broader sense. And just the whole project had such a good feeling.

And there was so much interest. And I just it felt very good. So it just felt

like the right time, well, you know, being, I’m not that old, but I felt old

enough to handle myself.

Bridgett: Yeah, I think I know that podcast. I didn’t hear that

particular thing that they said, but I do know that podcast. And, you know, you have

daughters, I have a 29 year old daughter. I have a son that’s 32. And I do feel,

you know, I grew up in that time. I’m a few years older than you, but I grew up

in that time. And it was different. It’s not saying that it’s okay, but it was

different. It was different. What  your older

daughter said, hey, she questioned what in the world, you know, in the book

you talk about that. How do you, I don’t know, how does she or how do your

daughters kind of reconcile with that now? \

Bridgett: Yeah, well, their generation just thinks

it’s bizarre and not, not right. And it’s almost funny because when you’re Gen X or

whatever, you just look back and you think, well, yeah, I mean, if something wasn’t

too horrible, wasn’t it all right? And other people kind of, we were all sort of

the same way. And so it didn’t stand out. But now looking back, it does seem kind

of wild the way we were living. But of course, at the time, it almost didn’t feel

so, so strange. Um, yeah, I love that they’re,

my daughters are way more, I don’t know, they have more boundaries, like just

watching them with their friendships and their boyfriends, they’re just very, um, they

just take care of themselves better than I did. You know, they seem to kind of

listen to how they’re feeling. And so all of that talk that has been going on

consent, all of these things is so good. And thankfully, they’re a little healthier

mentally than I was.

Bridgett: – Same. – Yeah. (laughs)

Ione: I watch them,

I’m like, “Wow, you’re not like waiting by the phone for the boy to call?” Like

they’re kind of more confident, which is really good.

Bridgett:  – Yeah, I’m thrilled to see

that with this generation of girls. And, you know, when reading your book, I just

felt so much for your mother. I’ve really felt for your mother. And it just came

through that she was so caring, that she just did what she had to do for you and

your older brother. Well, you know, I don’t know, could you just share how that was

to feel?

Ione: Yeah, well, I was very close to my grandparents, her parents, and they

were just family, you know, they would do anything for us. And I think she just

had that example, just family first, you know, just very, very, you know, into the

family in a really strong way and just that was it. There was not, you know,

you just like care about your kids. And so she just had that way, she grew up

that way. So even though she was a single mother and in survival mode and really

worried about that, She just always cooking bedtime, you know,

everything was kind of like that stuff was really functioning and just, you know,

it’s worried when we had a cold and I don’t know, all those warm and she’s just

naturally, oh, she’s just naturally the warmest, most caring likes the underdog with

her friends when they need help. She just is like that. She’s kind of nicer than I

am. I’m amazed. It’s always like, we should have lunch with this woman. She’s not,

you know, my friend, she’s not doing well. Like, what an angel. I feel more

selfish

Bridgett: . – Yeah, she really, you know, the closeness, I could really tell the

closeness between your brother and your mother. And I think that even though, you

know, we all go through things, we all do things that we look back and think, why

did I do that? You still have that love there. And I think that your book really,

I don’t know, that was something that really got to me.

Ione: Yeah, she she definitely

was was worried those few years. But since my first sort of relationship,

she was, I’ve been a pretty, you know, I’ve gone through my love life stuff, but

but I’ve been pretty good. So thankfully, she wasn’t too worried about me. But yes,

she would never turned her back. She’s just not that kind of person.

Bridgett: Yeah,

it was evident. And do you mind sharing a little bit about that relationship that

you were in with Anthony?

Ione:  Oh, with Anthony. Yeah. Yeah, I met him.

And I honestly, fortunately, never even though I grew up in a Bohemian lifestyle, I

never, we never had people who had serious drug problems in the house like that. So

when I heard I did a movie with Flea, who’s in the Red Hot Chill Peppers, and he

was talking about my best friend. He’s in rehab, and I just was so young. I

thought, “Oh, that sounds interesting.” I had no idea. And then when I met him,

I don’t know. I never really fell in love, but I got very insnarled.

And he’s very interesting. I loved him and cared about him. And before I knew it,

we were dating and we were living together. And I was just sort of, I don’t know

why I thought I was curious about him and that group. It seems so interesting,

but scary. And then before I knew I was kind of over my head and kind of hiding

out, you know, because when, you know, people are in that situation as drug addicts,

they hide. So I just was sort of like embarrassed and hiding him in a weird way.

And then my life got a bit small, but luckily I was doing Say Anything. And

when I would be working, I would feel vibrant, good. When I was around my friends.

So thankfully, the contrast of like, wait, when I’m with Anthony in our apartment

and watching him, you know, be crazy and leave and come back and I’d feel terrible.

And when I’m here with my friends working and stuff, I feel like normal and myself.

So thankfully that I snapped out of that relationship, but it was really awful to

be honest. I mean, I love him and I’m happy. I think he’s doing well. We see, we

don’t really see each other a lot, but there’s some love there still because he

really made like big amends, proper amends to me. But that That was gnarly,

and I feel for myself that I had to go through that.

Bridgett:  Yeah. I mean, you were 16

years old?

Ione: 16, 17, yeah, crazy.

Bridgett When I was a 16 -year -old,

if Anthony Kiedis had asked me, I would have done anything I could to have moved in

with him. Yeah. I mean, I grew up in Kentucky, so that might as well have been

the moon,

But I understand this feeling when you’re 16 and you have this thing,

this dream or whatever, and you think, wow, this person.

Ione: And you have no history,

at least luckily for me, I didn’t have, I didn’t know what I was getting into. And

then it was like a little bit too late until I realized, oh, you can, you don’t

have to do this actually. But yeah, it was, now I would see something like that

and think, oh, you know, God bless you, but I’m not going like moving in with you

But then I didn’t know what I was in for right.

Bridgett: Yeah, well, you know, we learn

that with age I mean, we just know that as we get older. There’s okay that maybe

wasn’t a good idea to do that And then you also because you were doing the acting

you had signed the emancipation so you could work.

Ione:  That’s right Yeah, that’s right.

That was part of it. And my mother was actually nervous about that because she she

didn’t know the business inside and out. Like she wasn’t like a, you know, savvy.

But she knew she had some friends who were creative. But when that started, she was

a little nervous. Like, what does this mean? And it did make me feel a little bit

like I’m a grown up now. So it didn’t it did what she hoped it wouldn’t do, which

was make me think I was a grown up. But the industry or the producers to explain,

oh, this will just, you know, she’ll work a little longer hours like an adult, but

it won’t really mean much. But it actually did make me feel a little older. And I

don’t know if that was so good at that time. Or if I should have just stayed home

and, you know, worked, but from my house, not in an apartment with Anthony.

Bridgett: Yeah.

I mean, it did sound really, really rough. I mean, I really haven’t been around

someone that was that addicted, but just seeing other people who are addicted and

how hard that is. And just to see that he’s still alive.

Ione:  Oh,

I know. We were joked that he’s like a tiger. I think his Chinese astrology sign

is tiger or something. And I remember reading about it in one of those books and

it was like, they’re like a cat. They have like nine lives. And I was like, well,

he really has nine lives. If there’s any truth to all this stuff, I don’t know,

because he’s like a cat like that. Well, that that is just like, that’s amazing.

Bridgett: But also kind of going back to your childhood,

you know, like your, your mom, your, your father never even, you didn’t meet him

until you were 17 years old.

Ione: Yeah.

Bridgett:  I just, I feel for you there too.

I mean, you know, I try to put myself in someone else’s shoes like that. And in

my age, a lot of people had divorced parents, but very few had the parent never

see them.

Ione:  Yeah, I know. It’s, yeah, I think it’s hard to understand what that did

to me as a kid because it was so, somebody’s so out of the picture,

but I do think it weirdly, I don’t know, I feel like it almost, you internalize a

bit of feeling ashamed or something or that, you know, you can’t not, I probably

felt there was something wrong with me from a certain deep level, but it was hard

for me to really analyze and understand how that affected me, except to see my

actions looking for love to such a, you know, furious way.

Like I used to sort of joke if I had put this much ambition in my career as I

did in my love life, I’d be a way bigger star, you know, because I really just

motivated to find that, that love. But yeah, I think it must make,

I think it made me feel insecure in a deep level, and it was really weird seeing

other households where the dad was around, especially the more normal ones that

weren’t like just the musician, because some of my friends had musician dads, but

they were even divorced, but they were around. Yeah, I think when I saw that in

kids calling their father’s dad or daddy, it was like, what is that? And then I

felt really sad, like I want that. I want that thing, I want the dad.

So it was, you know, it is really sad.

Bridgett:  – Yeah, it’s hard because children, when they

feel, I’m a former elementary school teacher, when children feel different, even

though you can give them all the love and like your mother did, I mean, it is so

evident that your mother did. And you can give them all the love that you have,

but when they feel that they’re different from someone else.

Ione: Yes. Yes.

Absolutely. Yes. And then it made me want to kind of fit in a lot and all those

things that happen. But yeah, feeling different is hard when you’re a kid for sure.

Going into someone else’s house and it seems more regular and you just feel like,

oh, and it’s funny. Sometimes I would think this is weird. their house is weird,

but it was probably just different. And I didn’t know how to kind of understand

that.

Bridgett: Yeah, exactly. You know, we, we had, you mentioned Moon Zappa and we’ve

interviewed her as well, with her book. And, and it was, it was lovely too.

And, and it is amazing when I think I said this to her, I said,

you know, I grew up in the middle of the country. And just like looking at people

like you and people like Moon and thinking they must have a fabulous life. But when

you share these stories, it really makes us understand everybody has these

insecurities.

Ione: – Yeah, I know. – Everybody has these.

Bridgett:  I know one of the things like

when you were talking about River’s Edge, and this is me identifying as this teenage

girl that never thought that I was pretty enough or thin enough. And you said the

guy said something about your iris sweater.

Ione: – Yeah.

Bridgett:  – I said, I would have loved to

have had the body you had when I was that age.

Ione:  – Yeah, I mean, I look back and I

can’t believe I was insecure. I mean, there was times when I, whatever, like I

don’t know in my 20s where I was eating a lot and sure, you know, I was a

little, whatever, like Hollywood standards, you know, fine. But then those parts where

I was absolutely even like skinny, I can’t believe I think I just would focus on

one part and back then voluptuous for wasn’t as big as in as it is now.

Now it’s very popular. So I think it’s also what’s in the time like I I would

have done really well with my bum being like that. And it wasn’t even like, anyway,

it’s so insane when I look back as well. And I think, why was I worried? – Right.

– They say, enjoy it because 10 years later, you’ll look back and say, why was I

hard on myself? So I’m still doing that now. Like I’m just enjoy everything because

in 20 years, you’ll look back and think, wow, why was I worrying about this and

that because now I’m 20 years older. You know what I mean?

Bridgett: It’s exactly. I’ve been

going through the same thing. And I’m so happy today to see, uh, just girls of all

sizes, just all the time. I love it when I’m on the beach and I see this girl

with this bikini on and she, and she doesn’t have a care in the world. Yeah. Yay.

I know.

Ione: Same. I’m, I’m so into that. And Yes, absolutely. And when people like lose

a lot of weight in Hollywood, I’m always like, “Okay, good for you.” But I kind of

liked you before, you know? But anyway, whatever people want to do.

Bridgett:Yeah, the

And at this time, especially with the Colleen and on this podcast,

we talk about health more than looking. Like if you’re wanting a better body, it’s about I

want longevity, I want health

Ione:  Yes, I know my my husband and I are living in

Sydney at the moment because he’s Australian and we’re just trying that out because

he can get a lot of work there and I don’t know we’re just trying it out but

I’ll end up back home but um it’s been nice but we’re just working out but it’s

purely for mobility and health and if everything else starts not looking nice great

and that’s such a nice way like I love approaching it that way because the pressure

is often it doesn’t feel like stressful like have to you know look good in that

tank top I don’t know I’m just like I want to be able to move around and feel

vibrant so I don’t know I’m approaching it in such that way like you’re just

talking about it’s such a nicer mentality because it makes the exercising easy you

know feel better in a weird way right

Bridgett:  right It’s it’s not oh, I still did this

and I don’t look like this.

Ione: Yeah Just let that go and just try to just do a

little bit every week.

Bridgett:  Yes so after you know, I’m gonna flip back to your marriage

to Adam and you know, I another group the Beastie Boys hanging out in Red Hot

Chili Peppers the Beastie Boys And he sounds like a lovely person. I mean, he said

it sounds like it was. And you just, I think you can tell a little bit about why,

you know, that was lovely. And then it didn’t end up working.

Ione:  Yeah, it just so

yeah, I had the instinct to be married, which I actually love.

So I still, I like being married, but I was, for me, 21 was too young. And I

found myself wanting to well, just also go out. It was the nineties in New York.

My brother was dating a model. It was this all of a sudden this, this going out

seemed really fun to me. And I started dating women. And I just for some reason,

I don’t know. I don’t know why I was in therapy trying to figure it out, because

I was like, what is this? I don’t know what this means. But  Adam sort of saw

what was happening and he said, look, I’ve, I got my going out out of the

way, I’m ready to settle down, but you seem to be wanting to do it now. So you

should do it. And I, I wanted to be married, I loved him. I loved the

security of it. It was a buffer from the outside world. We had this cozy life

together. So I was like, let me just, just give me a minute, give me some time

and just a couple years past and it wasn’t going anywhere. I still wanted to go

out and date. So he just, we both were like, oh, this,

uh, we’re, you know, cause I, I don’t know if we had met like 10 years or 20

years later, he might have been a great match, but I found somebody who’s an

amazing match, if not better, because he’s, I don’t know, he’s,

he’s like, and he’s like very outgoing and Adam and I were kind of shy and quiet.

So I don’t know. There’s so many reasons why I’m so happy and I found somebody. So

I did learn that I like being married when I was with Adam. But yeah, I was just

experimental and for some reason I’ve always wanted to be with men for more of a

relationship. But I, for a little while, I thought be, I’ll be with a,

I’ll be married to a woman or something, but it just seemed to, for some reason,

whatever, if there’s a spectrum or something, I’m more inclined to want a

relationship with men.

Bridgett:  I really liked that part too,

because I felt like when people explain this or say this in their books or tell

their stories, that there are other people that have probably gone through something

similar and they’re holding shame and they’re holding this guilt. Yeah, but it’s

another feeling of feeling like I’m not alone.

Ione: Oh, good. Yeah, that’s good. Yeah,

I hope so. Because I’m hard on myself, but I’m not judgmental,

if that makes sense. You know, I was very cracked with guilt and can cure and

confused. I didn’t know what was going on. But there’s something about me that I

guess I’ve had, I have a natural maybe for my mother, I don’t really judge, you

know, or, you know, I don’t judge. I mean, in some, of course, I judge in

some ways, but I don’t have a moral, it’s not a moral issue for me. It’s more

just, you know, learn about yourself, what’s going on. I don’t know. But I

definitely was hard on myself. I felt very guilty. But

But I also have like a understanding and compassion as well.

Bridgett: Right. And I just, I

do think a lot of people maybe when they, when other people share their stories

like this, and they don’t have to, but it’s, it’s nice when they do because that

just does. It’s like people are like, well, this happened to them too. And there’s

probably a whole lot of other people that similar things have happened to and it’s

just, it’s this, okay, let’s, let’s quit being so hard on ourselves and let’s move

on because you can have a beautiful life. If you can, you never know, you could

meet this wonderful person and have these wonderful children and life can be really

great. Yeah, it’s, I was gonna ask about Say Anything because that was,

I don’t know, it’s, it’s iconic. I mean, the boombox, can you share about how you

were, you know, John Cusack wasn’t on board yet and how that song came to be in

the movie.

Ione: Yeah, he, so I did a couple of auditions. Like the first one I did,

Cameron Crow called and said, “You’re going to come back. We want you to come back,

but you have to try a little harder.” Like, I think I was scared and not giving

it my all. So I gave him my all. I get the part, but , Cameron Crow said,

“We want, I want John Cusack so bad, but he doesn’t want to do a teen rom -com

movie. He’s done with those, and I need to explain that it’s not, that this is not

that movie. And in fact, the movie was meant to be more a story about a father

and a daughter about how you can have this great relationship, and then my character

finds out that he’s been embezzling, and how do you deal with that.

But the love story became such a huge part because of the chemistry and just it

was just such a beautiful love story. But we convinced John Cusack together that it

wasn’t a dumb movie, that it was going to be, you know, well written and all of

this. So then I got, I was quite intimidated because he and Joan Cusack,

who played his sister and his real life sister, they were just so smart,

and they’d been doing movies already and so kind of so intelligent and so good and

so brave as actors. And I just wanted to be just as good as they were.

And so that was kind of nerve wracking. But I started once we filmed, I was

starting to feel, okay, I’ve got this. And then who knew that boombox scene,

like when we filmed it, we weren’t like, this is the scene. It wasn’t the,

You know, some, I think films have set pieces, which I’ve learned late in life mean

a big sort of series of scenes that are kind of, you know, a lot of work and

they involve a lot of, you know, whatever action or actors or, or things and then

they probably know well this sequence is going to be amazing. But with this movie,

we had no idea this one scenario was going to be capture the imagination of so

many people. And so then, and the song, you know, Cameron Crow wanted an Elvis

Costello song and Elvis Costello passed on it. And we were really sad about that.

I actually wasn’t into Elvis Costello yet. I had, I got into, so they were really

sad. But then he got Peter Gabriel, that song, which turned out to be just perfect.

Like such such a beautiful song, so big and so romantic. And, and the way John

Cusack looks, it’s so amazing because he was trying to look mad. His motivation was,

you broke my heart. I’m mad at you. Like almost punishing. But Cameron didn’t even

change his direction. He’s like, that is going to look like romantic and it does.

So even though like his John’s like motivation was a little more like

rebellious, like it just ended up looking like so romantic.

So anyway, it worked out perfectly.

Bridgett: – Yeah, that’s a scene every girl dreams of.

– Yeah, I know, I think people – – Which you can’t have. It’s funny when I was

reading your book, You were talking about your first step dad when you all moved,

I can’t remember now where you moved in the glass.

Ione:  – Connecticut, and then to

Topanga Canyon.

Bridgett: – And you mentioned something about how he gave you a gift or

brought gifts, but don’t ask. And it reminded me of the dad in the story of say

anything.

Ione: – Oh yeah, I know. It’s so wild, Um,

and it’s funny because when I started doing that scene, I was trying to, I was so

young, I was like, wait, what is he, why am I sad about John Mahoney, you know,

what he’s doing, like, what is it? And I, and then I was thinking because I’ve had

my first stepfather was kind of like that, that I’m immune to this. So I had to

really convince myself, no, this is bad, you’re upset. That what your father did is

bad, like I almost couldn’t understand like how bad that was, but maybe because of

my childhood.

Bridgett: You know, when you also mentioned in your childhood,

you had friends that kind of had similar situations like Karis Jagger. Can you talk

about how, but hers was a little different from yours?

Yeah. Can you share how that

maybe what she had going on and then how it was different from what was happening

to you?

Ione: Yes. So, Karis Jagger also had a similar thing where her parents had her

but weren’t married and her father more famous than mine, Mick Jagger, but early on,

he was more interested in, he in fact is still, all his kids make go on holiday.

He’s like welcome to the family. You know, he’s very good at that. He just is able

to do that like all fathers should. But when I was young, she started knowing him

when she was really little, like six or seven, which sounds, you know, some people

would say that’s not that little, but Jerry Hall was sort of instrumental in really

facilitating that because she was with Mick Jagger. And I think she knew she’s like

you have two daughters and you don’t see them as much as I would think you should

and I want to have a bunch of kids she wanted like 10 kids you know she said if

I’m going to have kids with you you’ve got to be the kind of father I hope you’re

going to be with our kids so I thought that was really cool instead of being

threatened and let’s pretend you don’t have this family over there she was like we

you have to be seeing your daughters. So I always admired Jerry Hall for that. And

he probably would have anyway, because he’s watching from afar, he’s really amazing

at that. And then I, yeah, I think I was just studying it, really studying it.

I don’t know that I was thinking, why can’t my father be like that necessarily? But

I was just really watching her with her dad. And what is that like? And so That

was comforting and also just interesting to see.

Bridgett:  – To see that, and I know now your

mother remarried and had another son, so you have a younger brother as well.

– Yes,

yeah. – And I was very happy for her. –

Ione:  Oh, yes.  my mom  and

I’m just so happy for her. – Yeah, ’cause Richard is great. He’s just like solid

and

you know, finally, my grandparents could relax and be, Oh, finally, she made this

wonderful person. And they have, yeah, my little brother is almost 30. And it’s been

so nice. And it gave her because she was a bit older at that point as a parent,

but she’s friends with all the moms that gave her a younger group of girlfriends.

And they have their, they do each other’s birthdays, every birthday, and they do

ladies lunches and she just has this like nice quote unquote normal life and I’m

just it’s just been so good for her. They all do their exercise together and it’s

just really, really, really sweet.

Bridgett: That’s wonderful. And then you do have a

relationship now with your father. Yeah. How’s that going?

Ione: It’s great.

I mean, it’s, you know, I’ll always feel sad for myself when I was little, I’ll

always kind of not understand how could you not want to be involved. But seeing him

and knowing him, I’m curious to know him. I like, from the first time I met him,

I wanted more, I wanted to know him. And he’s just, he’s a unique person.

And he’s so, he’s so eccentric. And that almost helps. And every time I see he and

my stepmother, I just like, I think I said in the book, I sort of pretend I’m

meeting, you know, I know he’s my father, but just some eccentric older friends. Um,

so there’s some, there’s a touching quality between us, despite how complicated and

strange it is. Um, and I just, I don’t know, I just give, give them the,

not benefit of the doubt, but I like, I don’t give them a hard

a grace. Yeah, just play that guitar and just, you know, let’s, he communicates

better through song. Yeah, yeah, just, you know, and also, and he is really actually

very, very bright and interesting in the things that he knows about. So it’s just

very interesting to just, I just want to get to know him more and more.

Bridgett: And yeah,

I think it is pretty fascinating because you think back to the time in the 60s and

where he traveled and where he went and you with the Beatles and I know and

everything like that you’re thinking about had to be different.  That’s the time I was born

and I’m thinking that had to be crazy. I’m one of 12 kids though in Kentucky.

You know, like, yeah, my life was completely different, but a very wild,

you know, different

Ione:  – Yes, I know, it’s iconic, yeah.

Bridgett: – Yes,

and I would, before we go, we always ask our guests, ’cause our audience is

typically midlife women, and we always ask how your midlife is going for you.

Ione: – Yeah, well, it’s big, you know.

Yes, I have that simultaneous like, caring less about what people think and feeling

more and more confident, but also, you know, dealing with aging and like we were

talking about before about exercising and stuff. And all the menopause stuff is like

so funny because I don’t remember my mom. I just remember her saying, oh, miss in

a weird way, having my period because I loved having babies and I liked being

fertile. And I just remember noting, oh, the feeling like, Oh, I can’t do that

anymore. That was all I remember her feeling the loss of I can’t,

you know, not that she was going to have another baby, but just like, Oh, okay,

but I did not know any of the other stuff like sleeplessness, anxiety,

just all the physical things that, you know,

I had another friend and she was just like, Oh, get ready. And I was like, No.

Then I had a teenager who was just sort of like getting her period for the first

time. And we’re both just like sensitive and emotional. But um, yeah,

I do, I’m having, I am having the good side of mid life where I’m feeling, you

know, Oh, this too shall pass. Oh, I really do know that. You know, when people

would say don’t worry, it’ll, you know, if you’re having a hard time. I think, no,

but I’m feeling bad right now. You know, so now I really know in the morning,

you’re going to be fine and you’re going to be okay, even if I’m like up in the

night worrying. So it’s nice. The wisdom is really getting there.

And I like that so much. So yeah, I’m kind of really enjoying all of that side of

things.

Bridgett: – Yeah. – We’ve heard from a lot of our guests when they hit 60, that there’s some

kind of magical thing that’s happening when you hit like Helen Slater went back and

got her PhD. Daphne Zuniga got married for the first time at 55 and all these,

and I said, “Oh, I’ve never thought I would say, “I can’t wait to be 60.”

Ione: – Yes,

I know, I love that. – Yeah. – Yeah, I’ve always been someone to look to study

people ahead, even with my marriage, which for some people is not long,

it’s like 16 or 70. But I’m also, you know, studying like the empty nesters,

because I want to succeed. Like I want not and I need to succeed, but I want our

marriage to last. So I’m even looking ahead. How do you know, how do I deal we

deal with it? Then like, how do people keep things going? you know, because I’m

like hearing that about being 60, it’s, it’s just, yeah, planning ahead and looking

forward to the parts that sound really good, and the parts that I want to make

sure that we’re working on so that, you know, we could keep keep it going and have

a good marriage for long and all of those things. Yeah, that’s cool. It is. It’s

great.

Bridgett: I’ve been an empty nester for, I can’t think, my daughter graduated from

college in 2018. So like seven years and it, empty nesting hit me hard.

I miss them so much. But now we do a lot of travel. And I’ve been married 33

years and I was young. I was 23. But I think it was, I always say this,

I love my husband. I love him to death. I might have waited. I would have married him,

but I might have waited. Yeah, you know, but it was just like, that’s how things

were done. Sure. Yeah, but I’d say empty nesting was the hardest for me.

Oh, hot flashes and all that stuff was awful. But I I’ve learned to deal with it

met met other women and met people really speaking out about this time of life and

and not making it taboo. So that’s been really great.

Ione: Yeah. And I like being alone,

I was someone, if you read the book, I couldn’t be alone. I liked like my therapy

dog was a person, you know, I just needed and now when I get like even this

publicity tour, I’ve been away for a month. I’m fine. I’m enjoying my alone time.

I don’t have the puppy and the teenager and you know, my husband who I actually

love and he actually doesn’t bother me ever. But well, we’re or he does sometimes.

But I really learned how to also like my alone time, which is really nice to know.

Because I was worried for a while, I thought, well, I never can enjoy like alone

time. And now I’m like, Oh, I get it. This is wonderful. So I feel like I can

do, I know how to do that too.

Bridgett: Yes, no, I know exactly how you feel.

Yeah, just those moments are great. Well, thank you so so much for joining Flashes

and Cool Topics. This has been a wonderful conversation. And you guys, you’ve

got to check out Ioni Skye’s, Say Everything A  Memoir because it is really,

I don’t know if you grew up like I did and when I did most of you did, you’re

going to really, it’s going to take you back to these times and you’re going to

really have some feeling, you’re just going to have some empathy and some feelings

from another fellow Gen Xer.. So thank you so much. So good to talk

to you.