Marni Jameson: EPISODE LINK
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SUMMARY: Lifestyle expert and author Marni Jameson shares her midlife tips on where to live, in what and with what. She talks about her book, Rightsize Today to Create Your Best Life Tomorrow.
TRANSCRIPT:
Colleen: Welcome back to Hot Flashes and Cool Topics. We’re going to be talking to Marnie Jameson about her new book, Right Size Today, to create your best life tomorrow. And Marnie, as a journalist, as an author and speaker, you’ve talked about not only this, but empty nesting and kind of downsizing the family home. And these are topics that hit our demographic, whether it’s retirement or kids leaving for college or a family member like myself, my mom moving in. These are topics that kind of hit home to our listeners. And I just want to start by saying, welcome to the show.
Marni: Well, thank you. I’m delighted to be here.
Colleen: Well, we appreciate your time. And, you know, the new book Right Size Today is a motivational guide for those seeking the ideal home later in life. And I do think a lot of us are now saying, I want to stay here. I don’t want to have to move to another home or if I do move, this is my last move. So why write this book now? And what were you hoping that people would get from it?
Marni: Great question, Colleen. I would like to start by backing up about how I even got on this whole, this whole journey. And I started by writing a book called Downsized the Family Home, because I was in, you know, where you are now with your mom, my parents were in their 80s and they could no longer live independently in their home. And we needed, by my dad’s choice, my mom wasn’t a fan of it,
but they needed to move into an assisted living facility. And I was in charge of cleaning out the family home and selling it. It was a small California home, but it had a lot of equity and helping to pay for their long -term care. So I thought, well, I lived in Florida. I was working as a health reporter. I thought I’d take a week off. I’d fly into California. I’d clean out the family home, and that would be that. And it was one of the hardest things, maybe the hardest thing I’ve ever had to encounter. To take care of your own stuff is hard, but to deal with your parents’ belongings, things that they have kept in treasure. You want to be a good steward of their things. You don’t know what things are valuable. It’s super emotional. You feel responsible. Anyway, I had to write about it. And I was writing a series of columns as I’m a newspaper columnist on the subject and I was getting bombarded with emails from people saying, “Oh my gosh, I’m saving all these columns. I’m going through the same thing. I wish I had it three years ago. I’m giving it to my kids. So that’s kind of what started the whole journey. And then my own life was doing a parallel downsize and a right size where I had gotten divorced and moved from Colorado to Florida and my last child was going off to college. I was becoming kind of an empty nester. Anyway, I was trying to rebuild my life and then I met a wonderful man and we got married eight years ago, and we had to blend our homes. So I thought I had a pretty, I mean, I’m the home design columnist, right? So I think I have this great stuff. And I was living as I live in home stage or more over, I was, you know, fixing up people’s homes to live in them and help them sell. So I figured I got this. And he turns out the widower, he had 100 % of his belongings, he liked his stuff. I’m like, well, that’s inconvenient. So I wrote downsizing the blended home, one house plus one house has to equal one house. When two houses become one, you have to get rid of half a house. So that was a downsizing journey. And when your parent moves in, it’s a downsizing blended journey.
So you have to make room and edit. So all these things were sort of rattling through my brain as I was divorcing, remarrying, dealing with my parents and dealing with the stuff in this household and this burden that we carry forward. So it’s hard of writing about death and dying and aging. I decided I would talk about living, hence the right size today, to live your best life tomorrow. So I really, really wanted to look at, gosh, you know, life goes fast, and if you’re over 15, maybe you’re in the last third or, you know, hopefully more of your life, less half of your life, and you want to really make a grade. And maybe this is the time the kids are moving on. And I really started circling around the really big questions of why do you live where you do? And, you know, for getting like what you live with, because we just, you know, we get there in the third part, but really backing up and saying, did I just land here because I was born here, I grew up here or my kids went to school here and they no longer go to school here or for a job I no longer have or because it was the house I could afford at the time but now I should afford less or I can’t afford more. Whatever it is but you really need to take another look and ask yourself kind of the macro question like what where I mean forget how inconvenient it is to move it’s a pain but maybe that is saying it’s too much trouble is not a reason to live an inferior life. So I Anyway, I’ll take a break, but that’s kind of what I wanted to do in Right Size today is to get people to really pull back and say, “What would my dream life be look like?” And maybe I can get there.
Bridgett: That’s what I love about it, the right size. Because it’s not necessarily telling you that you need to downsize. You don’t need this big house because you might like where you live and you might like your house and you might want it for different things. But what I really like is the little, the checklist, the things that you rate about the different locations. Can you talk a little bit about how that works and some of the things included there?
Marni: Just reasons to relocate. And that really is the engine that drives the book. So thank you for mentioning that Bridget. But first, I will define what I define right sizing is moving to or creating a home that is the perfect physical, financial, social, and emotional fit for your life today and moving forward. So all four of those pieces, is it too big or too small? Is it near what you love? What fills your soul?
Is it going to the opera? Is it going to the beach? I don’t know, you know, but you do. Is it emotionally fulfilling for you in terms of being near family? Although 7 % of people want to move away from family and that’s all I’ll say about that but you have to decide and then certainly you know financially it’s got to work for you I mean no more do you want to work to support your house your house should support
you so these are things you need to reckon with and decide what is the best right -sized house for you and it very well be where you’re living now so that’s that’s possible so the the inventory that is really important is you know there are a lot of magazine articles out there that talk about where you should retire or where you should best cities to live in and and I don’t know about you but Colleen Bridget you
and I we aren’t the same I may want to live to where I see courses in the past year meet you might want to live on the golf course I don’t know so I don’t know how someone can tell me the best place to retire only you can tell yourself that So it’s multifactorial and that’s where people get kind of overwhelmed at the thought they go.
Oh, well, you know I really like my my local pharmacist I don’t know whatever to keep some stuck in a place and so you you start reading what is important to you so the the book has questionnaires and I’m not a math wizard, but you don’t don’t have to multiply any higher than five Five times five is maybe the some multiplication you have to do, which is good for me. And then you need to do a little addition. But you actually rate, like what’s important to you in terms of seasons, in terms of proximity to things you love, in terms of financial cost of living, the political climate, what is important to you? So you rate political climate, I don’t care, I’m a two. But on seasons, I want four seasons, that’s a five. So you rate what’s important to you and then you put it in a chart by cities that you’re considering. And it may be anywhere from Midland Michigan to Santa Cruz, California, I don’t know. And then you start evaluating them and you will do a weighted average, which is a big fancy term for, it’ll start to add up to say, It will declare itself. You might find out you’re living in the perfect place. You may go, oh, my place I’m living is so low on the scale of where I could be enjoying my life. So it really helps you define where you should live. And that is the first part of the right sizing puzzle. And I define it in three parts. It’s where to live, in what? Meaning a town hall, a cabin, a large house, what is the right in what? And then we talk about, as Colleen mentioned earlier, with what, you know, let’s get it, let’s outfit the home with the right things and none of the wrong things. So you’re living beautifully and simply in a right -sized way.
Colleen: And I think finances come into such a play for couples as they get in singles, as they get older. How do you factor that into the Averaging everything.
Marni: Sure. So cost of living is huge and especially if people are looking at seguing into retirement and You know what that fixed income looks like and what in order if they’re saving for retirement They don’t want to erode it. So you need to be realistic about that and My brother for example, he and his wife, you know, they lived in California their whole lives and the cost of living is extraordinary. That’s where I grew up and I’m much happier in Florida, thank you, but they moved to Midland, Michigan and their paying, their money is going so much farther. And you know, the example like they used to pay $100 for a handyman and now they’re paying 25. So dollars an hour, you know, so this little thing, the gas price from $7 a gallon to 350 50 years gallon. So it’s just remarkable how much if you really think about how far your money can go in another place, you can have the quality of life and a lot less of the pressures. But if you’ve got the money and you love, you love the places that are expensive, then by all means, you know, live your best life.
Bridgett: Right. I love how you brought up. Oh, sorry, you brought brother and you bring up so many good stories in your book, which really share a good example. You kind of hit, you know, your brother and his wife’s situation and different people, blended marriages, remarriages of widowhood, you know, after widowhood. And it really is interesting where their priorities lie. Like some want the nice weather, some don’t want a yard. Like I don’t want a yard, I want a huge yard with the pool with everything so that that is really interesting just the different stories in the situations and how you weigh that.
Marni: Thank you you know the book is in three parts and the first is that you do the work let you think about where you should live how you should live why you might want to move why you might want to retrofit your home to make it more of what you want going forward and then I like the middle part is the how they did it get me out of the way, and let’s talk to other people who’ve actually gone through the change and the transition. And in some cases it backfires, and that doesn’t mean it was wrong for them to move, it just means they didn’t stick the landing, they didn’t move to the right place, and so it’s not that they shouldn’t have moved, but they need to move somewhere else. So you gotta, you know, course correct, and give yourself a little forgiveness, but don’t be paralyzed to not do something ’cause you’re afraid. And people who moved, I have a study that looked at people who moved in the last five years out of state, like changed states, and that was 26 % of people who moved in the last five years, according to the survey, moved to a new state. That’s a big change, and 88 % of them were glad they did. So I think 12 % of people will just be happy so there’s that but um I think the ones that you know they gave it they thought it through they moved to a new state and they were they didn’t regret it and I think that’s what we think about is oh well I be sorry I did but you know we also talked to a gal who lives in a house she loved but she was getting older and her knees weren’t what they used to be and her
bedroom was upstairs and she couldn’t figure out a way to make her bedroom downstairs making it you know living them into a convalescent room and so she had an elevator installed and it’s really pretty in her in her house so she gets up and down and she goes it’s great when I go on trips it’s you know it takes the luggage up and down and you know as she gets older in her needs she just had knee replacements you know it’s just now she goes I’ve just added 15 years in this home that I love and it’s near everything
Colleen:See that? That would be my worst nightmare because I’d be afraid of getting stuck in it and no one would know. You’re a home alone.
Marni: Colleen, they have a phone. It comes with a phone installed inside, so.
Colleen: That would just be my nightmare being. Another thing, before we get to like what to take, what not to take and all that fun stuff. You also say be aware of the vacation effect. And I think a lot of people, you know, they go somewhere on vacation, they love it. They’re like, I’m moving here without really doing their due due diligence. Can you talk about the vacation effect?
Marni: Yeah, my next door neighbor is in the story as an example. They were high powered, high octane. He was a news anchor and she was a she moved commercial real estate in the DC area and they were and they had a vacation home in Destin, Florida and she said we would get there and we put our toes in the sand and our blood pressure would go down and we loved it so they decided to retire there and build something bigger than their little their little second home and they also moved the husband’s mom to the town So they could keep an eye on her because she was getting up in years and put her in a retirement community Well, then they decided they were bored to tears. They could not there was so there was nothing to do and they’re very culturally intellectually stimulating people and they were like it was a snooze and They were stuck because Jim’s mom Me they couldn’t move her again. She was established And so they were just like well, we’ll just wait till she passes and we’ll be here for her Well, she lived to a hundred and so that’s a good thing I guess and then finally They moved next door to me But they they realized they need something with a little winter park Florida has a little bit more going on and it’s a beautiful Community, but they had has some arts and she’s involved in the Museum and she’s in she takes painting classes and Gardening classes and all that stuff and he’s anyway, they have a very rich life now and more friends that are like them So, yeah, they they had they need to be very careful not to just go to a place because you Love the feeling of this your toes in the sand because you might get bored and another one reminded me that you go to the Resort and there’s a cabana boy who brings you your my tie and flush your towel and here’s you pull side service. That doesn’t happen when you move there, you know, in your backyard, your house, that’s a bad boy. Yeah, don’t confuse those good feelings with real life.
Bridgett: Yes, yeah, that was, that was really, in another one, and I also do want to get into the things, but was the couple that bought two places. Yeah, I love that too.
Marni: Yeah, Katie and Thad, They had a beautiful home, large home, where they raised three children and had a pool and it was on a lake and it was just gorgeous home. And the kids of course wanted them to hold onto it forever ’cause they were gonna bring the grandchildren there. Well, the grandchildren never come. The kids are in Wisconsin and Chicago. They have jobs, they have vacation time and they’re a cadent dad with this huge house and all this upkeep in the yard. And they’re like, this is nuts. the house and you know it’s worth you know it’s well in a good house and they bought two so they got a small house here in Florida which is where they have all their friends and they’ve been they’ve been in this community for many many years and are really quite integral in the community actually they’re very involved but they got a little house with zero plot you know zero line plot whatever no maintenance lock and go but people the kids can still come there and go to Disneyland and do whatever they need to do, but it’s very low maintenance. And then they got another house up in Wisconsin, Chicago area, that it’s a smaller kind of a bungalow, but they can see their kids, the grandkids can come over. And they got two for one, which is so smart. And of course, then you’ve got the seasonal thing where you can be in Wisconsin in the summer and avoid the Florida heat and be here in the winter. So that was also really thought through well and yeah there’s just so many ways you can shake it up and I just wanted to get people thinking outside of their little four square box and thinking huh maybe maybe I could too and I think if I do anything it’s just to get people to imagine a better life and then then we talk about what’s standing between you and that better life and we can we get to that question in a minute but I think that if you I like to say make a decision in a moment of peace and clarity and then don’t change your mind in a moment of panic when you’re actually going through it.
Colleen: You know, so often you’re you’re on the road, you’re like, what am I doing? Don’t rethink it in a moment of weakness, what you decided in a moment of strength. That’s a good point. You know, part two is how they did it. And you do use a lot of examples of couples that did it. But gosh, it would be, you know, I think for a lot of people that are starting on even the empty nest track They just look at all these memories and they’re like, I can’t give these memories up. So how do you do that?
Marni: That is the million dollar question Yeah, and that’s really baked into everything as you know as we get older We see the memories are more precious and we have more things that remind reminders of those memories and we somehow think that getting rid of the thing is somehow gonna just ban the memory and I think that is the most important takeaway is that memories live in your heart you get to take those with you and yes I won’t deny that there is a connectivity effect when you see something in it trips a fond memory so I say keep the pearls and not the piano, right? He keeps a few small, cherished things that will trigger some special feeling or some special memory of a person. But when everything is important, nothing is important. It just bogs you down. So go on a treasure hunt, take the five things that you, you know, if your school memories or whatever, or they’re whatever they’re whatever you want to remember about them. And I mean, they’re still alive, one hopes and you can still have them in your lives. But, you know, you don’t, you don’t save every Cub Scout uniform and every, you know, every art piece from preschool for having sex, it just, it’s just going to walk you down. So, yeah, I think memories are, I also like to think about having I’ve created a workbook that it’s a downsizing the family home workbook where you can put a picture of the grandfather clock and where it went what church it went to or what home it went to and You don’t keep the clock anymore the wedding dress you take a picture of mom in the wedding dress Maybe a swatch of the wedding dress and that you donated it to a theater department so you start having a journal and a scrapbook of where things are and what you did and how it of felt and who you sold it to and move on and reduce the clutter.
Bridgett: You talk about how keeping up with maintenance as you’re going along with your house because that’s going to be a more difficult home to sell if it’s got all these problems. So can you talk about the importance of that?
Marni: Deferred maintenance is a big problem and we need to keep our houses not only up in the sound repair because that will ding you on a resale, but also up to date just physically because it really, and again, I’m the home design columnist. I’m a living home stager. I have been for, you know, and I help stage homes for sale. It matters. And people go, oh, I’ll let the new people figure out what kind of flooring or I’ll let the new people paint. That’s lazy. You paint, you reflore, you figure it out, you bring it up to date. And I know it costs something something and you might go money’s tight, but you’re going to make it up in a faster sale at a higher price. And, to you, unless you paint your, you know, your walls, you know, petunia purple or something, you’re gonna, you’re going to recoup it because people want turnkey. They don’t, they have enough to deal with with the move of getting things unpacked and where’s it’s gonna go and where’s my schools and where’s my job and where’s my hair dresser. They don’t want to think about also what is the fluorine choice here.
So keep things up to speed, make sure there’s nothing that’s going to subtract because they will subtract a lot if they have to replace a roof or an air conditioning system or something that’s not working. So one of the things that even Katie and Thad did, I can’t remember if I mentioned it in the book, but they had a pre -cell inspection of their home and they ran the traps and actually found that they had some kind of piping that was going to need to be replaced. Some kind of a plastic piping that they put in the houses at that time in the 80s when it was built and that doesn’t pass code anymore. So they had to before they put the house in the market they had to break into the walls and replace all of this piping. They were of course not happy with the information but glad they knew because then it could all be done and pristine and in cell ready condition. So all that really matters and Kind of on that path of your question, Bridget, was an ongoing process as I don’t like to think of downsizing or rightsizing as a one -time effort. I like to think of it as a lifestyle. So you constantly should be looking at purging and winnowing out and editing, you know, just keep up with it, like take, you know, somebody just go, “Okay, this is the last day I’m going to look at this linen closet in this condition rip everything out and go through what you really need use love and donate the sheets to I just found out this world relief you don’t have to be religious at all but the Lutheran church has a huge quilting program they want your old sheets and they give the they make these sheets and they give them to some central dispatch in Europe that sends them around the world to kids in Tanzania who are so cold they’re they’re not growing. So and also into Ukraine where they’ve lost their homes during the war and they need quotes. I mean it’s really cool and you can like wait I can clean up my linen closet and help those in Ukraine and help kids freezing in Tanzania because whatever they eat is going to keep their bodies warm and not to growth or cognition. It’s really horrible. So anyway, I digress, but consistently be windowing out, editing, trimming down, scrolling back your belongings. I keep a box in the garage.
I keep a bag in my closet. And, you know, when I look at something, I’m like, this is the last day. This is the last day for this. This is going to goodwill. And then when I get a massive quantity, off it goes.
Colleen: That’s a great way to make it easily accessible. So you don’t have to say, “Oh, I really need to clean my closet out. Oh, I can just take this and put it here,” making it as simple as possible. I think that’s a really good suggestion. You also talk in part two about kind of the guidelines when you’re either one, you lose a spouse. Now, again, it could also be divorce, I guess, for that, but let you kind of give eight guidelines when transitioning through loss. And I thought we could talk about that as well because a lot of people have really difficult times with their coming back to their home once they’ve lost the spouse.
Marni: And you know there’s no timetable on that it’s so hard and and everyone needs to respect and honor their own journey and not judge somebody else’s quickness or slowness to accommodate but we do have a dear man who gosh he was that it was the sweetest letter he was 83 he’d lost his wife of 50 years or more I think and he wanted to be respectful of her but he didn’t really want to live with the doilies and the flowered pillows anymore and he was reaching out for help and we walked through that and what about her clothes and her closet he was using the whole closet she had the lock in and he didn’t want to oh it was just the sweetest thing and you know time And time goes by, he made some changes as we discussed. Like you can have the big closet now and her stuff can go to help somebody else’s wardrobe. And now he’s met someone and he’s traveling with her and she’s also lost a husband and they have a life together and they’re not living together yet, but that may be in the future. And we kind of walk through these times, don’t So we, I think the really important thing, and I remind myself, is we get stuck in stages and life changes. We can’t stop that. And that’s one of the things that hold people back is they’re afraid of change. Well, it’s coming for you anyway. So roll with it and don’t let the fear of change stop you because it’s going to take you down.
So we are, you know, we are new career people, newlyweds, widows, divorcees in the working world, not in the working world,
moms, you know, empty nesters, retirees. We are all these things and you can’t, you know, if your kids have kids and you still have their scout uniforms and their hockey sticks, you have issues. You’re not that mom anymore. So be, live who you are today. Look in the mirror and say, okay, this is my age and this is my stage and embrace it because living in the past robs you of the present. Yeah, you know, you also said something about with the kids things that you give them a certain amount of time time and then it’s out.
Bridgett: I’m trying to remember the amount of time you said. I can’t remember what you said.
Marni: You can make it up. You are not your kid’s storage facility. That’s the bottom line. They move on to a small apartment and I had a leg cast because I broke my leg when I was a little girl and I don’t have a place for it, but you keep it. And I came across it when I cleaned her house. I’m like, oh my gosh, my parents had no business keeping all this stuff on mine. But you have to, you know, tell your kids,
look, I am not your storage unit. I really do want to turn your bedroom into a gym. And I mean, this is about me now. And you can either take it all or you can trust me to donate it.
Colleen: What about, you talk about living more and owning less and you talk about six ways to live better with less. Can you share some of those ways that, ’cause you know, people really, there’s so many emotional attachments to things, it’s hard to give them up, but it almost is freeing when you do it. It’s not almost, it’s kind of freeing when you do it.
Marni: It is freeing, and I mean, lightening up your life is really important. I think one of the big takeaway in part three of this book is a little bit of great beats a lot of mediocre. And if you surround yourselves with quality and not quantity, your life is going to improve a lot. So how do you do that? And so I believe having thought about why our houses are such a mess, I think we buy things because we don’t know what properties we really want in that item. What makes a great towel? what makes a great kitchen knife, what makes a great soap. We believe the branding, we buy all an impulse, it was a sale, whatever. And our houses fill up with things that we don’t need use and love, but they aren’t too old to get rid of and they still might have a purpose, but we’re not really sure, but we don’t really love them, but we still hang on to them. And our closet has shoes that we don’t wear because they’re uncomfortable, but they’re brand new. And maybe I’ll, you know, wear them, you know, stop, get rid of what isn’t working for you and learn how to buy right the first time.
So I think that’s even the name of the section is buy it once, buy it right, which I wanted to do a whole book out of that, which I still might, but that was my initial impetus for an entire book was buy it once, buy it right. And I do in part three go through every room in the house and say, okay, how do we do mattresses and pillows and sheets and towels? Let’s get the bedroom wonderful. And no, no, get sheets that don’t breathe or that they pill or they don’t, the contour sheet doesn’t fit so they spring off in the middle of the night. No, get rid of those sheets that aren’t working for ya and use the ones that are really high quality and deliver and do their jobs. And that’s true of wine glasses and cutlery and upholstered furniture. I’m asking you to take some time to learn about the properties that you’re looking for, not so much the sizzle and the branding or the celebrity identification, but what makes a great anything, what makes a great piece of furniture, what makes a great mattress, what makes a great wine glass, all those things. And then you can more easily say, oh, this doesn’t pass. This doesn’t pass, muster. This, this I can go, I can get rid of because I have this, which I know is really good. So that little trick, that’s such a little trick,
that really philosophy and way of consuming and editing your belongings and makes for a meat, clutter -free,
higher quality life.
Bridgett: Right, I think it was I can’t afford to be, I can’t remember the exact word, can’t afford to be cheap or I can’t afford to– – I’m too poor, I’m too poor to buy cheap clothes.
Marni: That was it, yeah, because, you know, like your example with the soap was, well, this bar’s heavier, it’s gonna last longer, it’s not gonna split, you know, you might be paying this much more for this one bar, but this bar is going to last you a longer amount of time. Your furniture is going to last you longer if it’s well made and stain free and all of that, you know, or, you know, against,
Bridgett: and, and how do you even get your, uh, rugs cleaned? I mean, I was like, wow, you know, there were things that they’re, it’s very thorough. It’s very thorough. But it’s easy to read. It’s thorough, but it’s very easy and it’s very easy to to find what you need. So that’s what, the thing with the rug and looking it to the cleaner or not even cleaner, what was it, a washer? A washer.
Marni: Yeah, I was like, I did not know you could do that. That is wild. I’m changing and sometimes you can clean on the spot. Something come in and do, but if it is filthy, off it goes. And I wanted, I thought, you know, there’d be two men with a hose in the driveway. I’m like, I’m going to go and really see. So I went to the facility and it is a whole machine that takes your sloshes and washes and dries and it is pretty cool.
Bridgett: Yeah, that was amazing. Yeah, you do a whole chapter on the importance of tea towels. You do, you know, flatware and you know, kind of for a lot of people who are overwhelmed in the moment, this is great because you’re giving them the guidance of saying, okay, pick, you know, even in your closet, pick 33 pieces and wear them for the next how many weeks. and if you like those, those are the pieces you keep. It’s, you know, kind of solutions that we don’t have to think of, because I think when you do get overwhelmed, you tend to just walk away and say, I’ll deal with this at another time.
Marni: You bring up an important point I like to think about as I’m editing my own things is choose to keep rather than choose to let go. So take all your stuff out of the pantry, for instance, if you have not your food so much, we can do that too, but maybe you’re serving pieces just in all the candlesticks and platters and punch bowls and whatever, and just go shopping. And so everything is like a neutral and then go shopping. What would I buy again? What do I use? what am I going to need going forward? And choose to keep things that really make will make a difference and will be useful in your life and then get rid of everything else. But what we tend to do is the opposite. We look at everything and try to pick out what we can get rid of instead of looking at everything and just picking back what we need in our lives going forward. And you will reflect the ratio and get rid of a lot more. And another thing is, you know, people like, what if I need it? Or what if I just can’t live without it? Or what if I regret giving away? I like, you know, having been divorced, I like trial separation. Okay, take a trial separation from these things, put it in the garage and like, okay, I’m not giving it away yet. But if I find out in three months that I haven’t had a heart attack, because I didn’t have this item, maybe I can learn without it. You also talk about the importance of your bedroom and how to keep it, you know, decluttered and simple and also pick a room in your house that’s your favorite room. I mean, there’s so many good tips in this book about, you know, just getting your house to be yours to really feel like it’s a sanctuary and it’s somewhere that you appreciate being in as opposed to being like, “Oh, I’ve got to clean this. Oh, I’ve got to organize that.” Can you talk about that mindset as we get older? Because I do think a lot of people just kind of walk through a room and don’t even look at what’s in there.
So, as I mentioned, when I moved from, well, I was actually living in Colorado to Florida and 12 years ago now, I had this big home and I couldn’t afford to buy a new home and I wasn’t sure what my life was going to look like. So I became a living home stature and I fell into this cool deal where I used my furniture to decorate homes that were problematic and certain or challenged properties. And I learned how to live with, I kept paring things down and and really learning how to live with less. So I had to keep my house show ready from nine to six.
I’d go to work and the house would get shown by brokers. And I would come home to a beautiful house every day because I needed to leave it spotless. That was my job as a home stature. And I learned that is the way to live. Live like are selling. Live like your house is going to be shown in 15 minutes. Now, it’s not honest if I look around my desk, but it can be like that in a snap. I can tidy up in a snap and make it show ready and you are the most important person who lives in your home. So treat yourself like a valued guest and come home to something you love every day. It takes effort you can’t slough off but and I it was my job right to keep this perfect like I put a bow on the towels there would be no scum in the in the soap dish it no spots on the counter no dishes left out it was perfect and it’s not that hard it’s just isn’t it I even had a teenager living with me at the time we did it we can do it so I am of course you know now I’m married with someone who doesn’t always share my standards and that’s okay but we’re working on it but it’s a goal and it’s not impossible at all. It’s very realistic to really come walk through your house as if it were for sale and you were someone coming in looking to buy it or getting a feel and how a house lives at this stage does heavily influence the emotions of people that walk in. You can make a place really undesirable easily with clutter and scents and discordant colors. So yeah, you can live like you’re selling. Try to make a good impression on yourself and for others. Bridgett: And that’s another thing you include and how to have your house look as if it’s ready to sell. If you are selling, the things about personal and religious and political things to just remove them.
Marni: Yeah, yeah, out. Pets, I mean, I love my dogs. Yes, yeah, make it look like the pets, no litter box. Yeah, I used to drive around when we were selling our house with the litter box in the trunk of my car. I would just put it in the trunk of my car and take the animals and let’s just go for a drive, You know, not that pets were not in the trunk of the car. Just the litter box was in the trunk of the car. So, yeah, you don’t have to go to that extreme every day. But yeah, that’s the idea. If it was showing, it’s like it’s in the trunk of the car. Smart. And you sold. So, there you go.
Colleen: Marnie Jameson, right size today to create your best life. Marni thank you so much for coming on the show and for sharing all of this information with us. We appreciate it.
Marni: You’re very welcome. It was my pleasure. Thank you for having me. Thank you.