Sex and Midlife: Consensual Non-Monogamous Relationships with Leyna Nyugen

https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/r95389/ConsAdfinal_-_6_15_21_147_PM8ky90.mp3

EPISODE SUMMARY:

Former news anchor and current podcast host, Leyna Nguyen has continuously used her platforms to educate the public on important and unique topics. Now, through Consenting Adults Show, Leyna discusses with guests and listeners the various types of sexual lifestyles, kinks and relationships. In today’s episode, we spoke to Leyna about her podcast, alternative sexual relationships and how sex is influenced in midlife. First, we talked to Leyna about how her podcast, Consenting Adults Show, came to be. Leyna explained that after turning fifty and leaving her job at CBS Los Angeles, she discovered that one of her close friends was actually a swinger. Although she did not partake in the lifestyle, she realized she knew very little about the topic and wanted to learn more by listening to other’s stories and experiences. She thought that a podcast would be a good way to share stories while also keeping a person’s identity anonymous in case they were fearful of their sexual history becoming public. When asked how she obtains her guests, Leyna said that at first, she would start by interviewing people she knew who partook in alternative sexual lifestyles. However, once the podcast became more popular, people started reaching out to her in hopes of sharing their own stories.

We then started delving into terminology pertaining to alternative sexual lifestyles. Leyna started by explaining to us the concept of cuckolding, which is when men in heterosexual marriages get turned on by their wives sleeping with other men. Both the husband and the wife consent to the wife having sex outside of their relationship, and after the encounters, the husband enjoys gets aroused hearing about them. When asked about the connection between sexuality and midlife, Leyna explained that many midlife people start exploring sexual fantasies more due to a newfound freedom. Once children have moved out of the house, a couple’s focus often shifts from kids to their romantic relationship. During this time, partners may realize there is something they’ve always wanted to try sexually but never thought to tell their spouse about. People in midlife also tend to be more comfortable in their sexuality because they care less about societal norms and feel freer to be their authentic selves. We then talked about the concept of swinging, and Leyna spoke about how swinging is when one married couple or person has sexual relations with another married couple or person. There are various types and levels of swinging. For example, soft swap is a term used to describe when couples partake in sexual activity outside of marriage but never have full-on sex. Full swap means to have sex with someone who is not your spouse, hot wifing is when a wife is a swinger, but the husband is not, and bulls are men who enjoy having sex with married women while their husbands may be watching. There are also people called social swingers who enjoy feeling sexy or even attending swinger events but never partake in the swinger lifestyle.

We also talked about the various forms of polyamory. Polyamory is when couples bring others into their relationship, but rather than it being solely for sex, there are emotions involved. Polyamorous relationships involve multiple partners, all of whom often have romantic feelings for one another. For relationships like this, open communication is vital. If not everyone is on board with the polyamorous lifestyle, then relationships can be ruined. Just like in all relationships, partners can cheat in the polyamorous lifestyle. Since the lifestyle places heavy emphasis on consent amongst all participants, if a partner were to have sex outside of the relationship or bring another person in without asking their partner first, it would be considered cheating. When asked where people can find more information on alternative sexual lifestyles, Leyna said often times, resources are closer than people may think. Sex clubs and sexual house parties are very common and finding places to attend them are often easier than expected. People can also attend lifestyle cruises, go to resorts and find information online. We had heard a rumor about pineapples symbolizing swinging in a relationship, and when we asked Leyna if it was true, she confirmed it. Some couples who partake in swinging do leave pineapples in their bedrooms to alert guests of their lifestyle, and this tradition was actually started by housewives. Housewives would go to the grocery store, put a pineapple in their cart and turn it upside down to signal to those around them that they were swingers. Other practices that indicate a person is a swinger is wearing a black ring on your right hand, having a flamingo or naughty gnome in your front yard, leaving a green porch light on, and, if you’re a woman, wearing an anklet. We then asked about the swinger population across the U.S. Leyna explained that, just as it is with most couples, swingers can be found all over the country. However, she did say that when interviewing guests, she tends to find the most swingers in California, Texas and Florida. She’s also found a large number of swingers who are cops, nurses and teachers. When talking about how married couples talk to their children about alternative sexual relationships, Leyna said that most couples refrain from sharing their sex lives with their kids until they’re older.

Leyna also shared how hearing so many stories from people who are swingers, polyamorous and more has made her a more accepting person. While she herself still partakes in monogamy, learning about the different kinds of sexual and romantic relationships has opened her eyes to different kinds of people and has taught her not to judge other people’s relationships. For libido in midlife, we talked about how for midlife women, sex drive can often be affected by aging and menopause. Leyna talked about the importance of maintaining a healthy, satisfying sex life in midlife and gave tips such as doing kegel exercises and buying sex toys. Leyna noted how it is more acceptable for men to talk about sex in midlife than women, and she hopes that by sharing information on her podcast, she can help to change the narrative and encourage midlife women to talk about their own sexual struggles and successes. We then spoke about dominant and submissive relationship dynamics. Leyna explained that, strangely enough, it is the submissive person who has the most power in a dominant/submissive type of relationship. The submissive person is the one who sets the ground rules and safe word, deciding what is and isn’t acceptable and therefore giving themselves more power in the relationship. We asked Leyna if there has ever been a kink that even she found shocking, and she said that through her podcast, she’s learned that there is a kink for literally everything. While some appear more out there than others, such as vomit kinks, everyone can likely find a kink for what they desire if they look for it. Finally, we asked Leyna what she hopes listeners take away from her podcast, and she said that the appeal of her podcast is that it educates people not only on different sexual lifestyles but also allows listeners to hear personal stories and experiences to help them learn more.

Leyna Nguyen

From her website:

Leyna Nguyen is a four-time Emmy Award-winning journalist who, after 26 years of covering hard news, stepped away from the anchor desk to focus on family, philanthropy, and fun!

She is host of the Consenting Adults Podcast, which focuses on the active private lives of the 40+ crowd.

She made broadcast history by becoming the first newscaster ever to anchor the news on two stations in the same market, with the unprecedented Viacom-owned duopoly of KCBS and KCAL-TV.

Before coming to the second-largest television market in the nation, Leyna was a news anchor and reporter for NBC-affiliate KCRA-TV in Sacramento, California, where she also hosted a quarterly program on Asian-American issues. Leyna started her tv career in Augusta, Georgia anchoring the news on CBS-affiliate WRDW-TV.

She has appeared in over 35 television shows and movies such as NCIS, Boston Legal, Austin Powers, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Leyna was born in Vietnam and came to the United States in 1975. She earned a degree in Mass Communications from Webster University in St. Louis.

Before broadcast news, Leyna was a substitute teacher for K-6 and put herself through college by touring as a new wave singer. She’s known in the Vietnamese community worldwide as a host for Asia Entertainment productions and for her philanthropic work as president of a non-profit foundation called LOVE ACROSS THE OCEAN, which benefits underprivileged school children in Vietnam and assists underserved families in Southern California. Leyna ran the largest celebrity poker tournament to raise funds for her foundation as well as other charities.

Leyna has received numerous awards and accolades including YWCA Woman of the Year, AREAA Humanitarian of the year, 25 Most Influential Vietnamese-Americans in 25 years, and the California State Legislature’s Woman of the Year for her philanthropic work.