https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/zbdvvp/glennfinal_-_11_8_22_1157_AMakddc.mp3

EPISODE SUMMARY:

Ruth Glenn, CEO and President of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), has worked for over 27 years to keep survivors safe and assisted while also informing the public with vital, lifesaving education on domestic violence. In today’s episode, we sat down with Ruth to discuss her personal story as a survivor, why “just leaving” doesn’t always work, the issue of victim blaming, and the patriarchy.

First, Bridgett asked Ruth to share her domestic violence story. She explained that as a child, she grew up in an impoverished, abusive household. At age 16, Ruth met and fell in love with her husband. After getting married, when Ruth was 19, she began to experience physical, emotional, and verbal abuse. She left after 12 years, and after six months of stalking and harassment, her husband kidnapped her and held her at gunpoint. He shot her and left, and luckily, Ruth recovered with no lasting physical damage. Her husband ended up shooting himself four months later. Once she ensured that both she and her son were safe, Ruth had to look at herself and figure out how she wanted to move forward in her life. Along with earning two degrees and numerous other impressive achievements, Ruth has since joined the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence as CEO and president. Through her work as an advocate, she shares her own story in the hopes of elevating the voices of other survivors and allowing them to be heard. Having worked in her industry for over 28 years, a common question Ruth has often heard about domestic violence victims is “Why don’t they just leave?” Unfortunately, leaving an abusive relationship isn’t as simple as walking away. Domestic violence is about power and control; when you leave, the abuser sees it as a loss of that power. They will do anything to get it back, including elevating their abusive behaviors and putting victims at further risk. 

Victim blaming is a huge issue in our current society, and while Ruth doesn’t believe it is always an intentional thing, it can negatively affect victims. When an adult victim comes forward, they are often held responsible for the relationship, as if the abuse they endure is a choice they made. No one goes into a relationship thinking they’re going to be abused, and when abuse happens, society sends the wrong message. Rather than offer support, others will often tell the victim that they can change their partner and the relationship itself can be salvaged. These messages portray how society doesn’t understand the complexities of domestic violence, for it is not as simple as changing your partner or leaving the relationship. Luckily, through the media, Ruth has the ability to call out society’s inappropriate language and behavior towards domestic violence survivors. With her platform, Ruth finds power in being able to speak up. For example, some people will use the word “altercation” when referencing an instance of domestic violence, and Ruth emphasized that by doing this, a person is downplaying the abuse that occurred. 

When asked about the Me Too movement and its connection with domestic violence, Ruth spoke on how remarkable the movement was for survivors of sexual violence. Those who had endured sexual violence were finally given a platform to be heard. However, such a movement has still not occurred for survivors of domestic violence. In our society, there are still stigmas surrounding domestic violence, seeing it as something that shouldn’t be discussed outside the home. The patriarchy is a huge contributor to the issue, and Ruth said there needs to be a movement where both male and female survivors are heard while violent men are held accountable, which would hopefully shed a light on the ongoing issue of patriarchy’s connection to domestic violence. The patriarchy affects every aspect of our society, and in cases of domestic violence, can lead to victims feeling like they won’t be heard, and male abusers being given more leniency in court systems. 

For indicators of an abuser in a relationship, Ruth spoke on how important it is for women to remember to trust their instincts. Women have been taught by a patriarchal society that trusting their instincts is synonymous with being “overdramatic” and “overemotional”. However, if you’re in a relationship and your intuition is telling you something is off, listen to it. By doing so, more red flags may start to pop up. Some big red flags that point towards potential abuse are being isolated from friends and family, if your partner starts incessantly asking who you’re talking to and why, and if your partner insists on having control of the finances. If you start to notice red flags in the relationship, you have every right to enforce boundaries and voice your concerns. Ruth also called out how in the U.S., not enough research and attention is given to what factors would cause someone to become an abuser. People are often quick to victim blame, yet they don’t think of the motives behind the abuser’s actions. 

Finally, Ruth talked about her involvement with the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV). She shared that recently, the NCADV started merging with the National Domestic Violence Hotline and has become Project Opal. Ruth is excited to be working with them and hopes to continue to help victims and to educate those who have experienced domestic violence or people who want to learn how to address domestic violence.  

Ruth Glenn

Ruth Glenn is the CEO and President of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. For over 27 years, she has worked and volunteered in the domestic violence field, providing life-saving services and education. Ruth received a Master’s in Public Administration from the University of Colorado Denver Program on Domestic Violence and was previously employed by the Colorado Department of Human Services for 28 years, working the last nine of those years as the Director of the Domestic Violence Program. She has also served on numerous domestic violence program and funding boards, provided hundreds of presentations about domestic violence victimization and survival, testified before the Colorado State legislature and United States Congress. Along with her many achievements, Ruth has also provided consultation, training, and technical assistance on a local and national level on victim/survivor issues.

In this episode, we discuss…

• [0:01] Bossa Bars
• [0:44] Guest Introduction
• [5:02] Start of Interview
• [6:00] Ruth’s Story
• [11:06] Why Leaving Can be A Dangerous Time
• [12:47] Victim Blaming
• [17:26] Speaking Up in the Media
• [20:56] The Me Too Movement
• [23:40] The Patriarchy
• [27:15] Indicators of An Abuser
• [33:31] Accountability and the Ability to Change
• [37:40] National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
• [40:01] Closing Thoughts
• [40:34] Outro

Useful Resources:

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence I [https://ncadv.org/]

Helping Survivors of Sexual Abuse and Assault [https://helpingsurvivors.org/domestic-violence-and-sexual-abuse/]

NCADV’S Instagram I [https://www.instagram.com/ncadv/]

NCADV’S Twitter I [https://twitter.com/ncadv]

NCADV’S Blog I [https://ncadv.org/blog]

NCADV’S Linktree I [https://linktr.ee/nationalcoalitionagainstdv]

Ruth’s LinkedIn I [https://www.linkedin.com/in/ruthmglenn/]

Ruth’s Twitter I [https://twitter.com/ruthmglenn]

Ruth’s Book

Everything I Never Dreamed I [https://www.amazon.com/Everything-Never-Dreamed-Surviving-Standing/dp/1982196009]

IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE IS STRUGGLING WITH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, CALL 800-799-7233

TRY BOSSA BARS FOR MENOPAUSE AND USE CODE “HOTCOOL10” FOR 10% OFF AT https://bossabars.com/ !

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