CARLA HALL: Episode Link

THE MEMENU: LINK

TRANSCRIPT:

Colleen: You have been so busy. We had you on when you were turning

your sexy 60.

Carla:

Yes.

Colleen: And you have just been going and going since then.

How has it been?

Carla: You know, it’s funny. I think about it. It feels so long ago

that I turned 60 and my Sexty-Sixty year. And I think energetically with intention,

I set it up to be a big year, a big pivotal year. And that’s exactly what it’s

been. I think so many perfectly well -timed endings with beautiful bows,

but then also the beginnings of new projects, which has been really incredible. And

I’m ready to, I’m ready to sail through the decade.

Colleen: Well, it’s true. I mean, we just keep getting more and more energized. And every

time we talk to someone who is in that late 50s, early 60s, they are ready to

pivot. They are ready to change. They are ready to keep going. The creativity seems

to explode. So speaking of explosions, you and Deb have started the Me menu program.

And we are so excited to talk about that because I did it, I did the assessment,

and apparently I’m a creator. I thought I was a pathfinder, but I’m a creator.

But before we get to all that stuff.

We’re taping on Bridgett’s

birthday. Happy  58th club. But so can you talk a little bit about,

and let’s start with Carla, about your relationship with Deb and how this came

about?

Carla: So the relationship with Deb is all because of my assistant slash manager,

slash everything in my life, Kirsten Bischoff. And she introduced me and Deb because

I was working on my one woman show. And we’re like, it would be really great to

have like a workbook or workshop because I had mined all of this information about

myself through this process of doing the show and then in walks into my life Deb

Grayson Riegel who I mean, I’m telling you Deb it’s so amazing she can speak for

Herself, but we needed someone who as a coach, as an executive coach sort of tell me

or help me put language around the things the way that I’ve been living my life

and so we got together and we were brainstorming based on Deb’s yes.

Deb: hearing from celebrities who just want, you know, just want my help. So it was a

pretty typical day for me. No, just kidding. I was absolutely thrilled.

Yeah, I was absolutely thrilled. I had been a fan of Carla from, you know, Top

Chef days. So I knew who she was and her reputation and her energy,

her powerful, positive, can -do energy absolutely preceded her. And so I was really

excited to see what this was about and sort of the original ask was, how do we

take the stories from Carla’s one woman show that are about the lenses and

perspectives through which she lives her life and how do we maybe turn it into a

book? And so I was super excited about the storytelling and lessons part. I was a

little less excited about the book part only because I have my own book coming out

in March of this year. And I was like, how am I going to do two books at once?

So through the process, Carla and I realized that one of the downfalls of a book,

as much as we love books, one of the downfalls of a book is that you’re really

waiting for permission. That part.

Bridgett: Right? You’re waiting for permission from an agent,

a publisher, the public to go out there in the world with your vision. Then you hear these voices telling you nobody would be interested,

or is what I have to say is an important, that is it a really worthy thing.

What is

something you could give women advice, in that aspect like “hey let’s do this, this is

for you.

Deb: Well, you know, one of the things about being a coach is that

you do a lot more asking than telling. And so I would want to check in,

you know, and find out whose voice is that really, right? The part that says you

have to be perfect or you don’t matter or you’re playing too small. I would want

to know whose voice is that. And typically it is the voice of, well, it’s

definitely the voice of the oppressor. Let’s be really clear about that. and that

whose voice is that really? And then you get to have a conversation with the

original oppressor about how that language might have served you at some point in

your life, but it is no longer serving you in who you are becoming.

Carla: And I think

that’s a great way to kind of start into the Me Menu program,

because there are a lot of women at our stage of life that are feeling like they

don’t need permission to do something. But that also gives me the confidence as I’m using the language from the

assessments to share with other people, the learnings. And then on my team, I ask

them to do assessments because I also want to meet them where they are. So I think

one of the things that in developing this with Deb,

we came up with during that session, these and that we called later

flavors, that were very important to us. We started with three. So they are open

possibility, imagine, reframe, acceptance, and hope.

And think about all of those different things that I think when you’re asking for

permission, sometimes they cut you off at the knees and you don’t have those things

because you’re looking outside of yourself. And so spiritually, this is how I live

my life. And so it’s with Deb’s helping through this process, really trying to help

people empower themselves with asking these questions. And so the program does just

that.

Bridgett: And there’s six flavors. Is that right? Yeah, you were just talking about the six

flavors.

Colleen: How did you

come up with those? Why were those the important ones for women in this time of

life?

Deb: So, So it really.

flavors really came out of Carla’s stories about how she has taken on the world and

has moved from opportunity to opportunity and maybe even more importantly from setback

to setback and how she shows up in the world. So she shows up in the world with

a hopeful mindset, with openness, with a sense of possibility and the three others.

And so these were really based on Carla’s stories and then we took them and blew

them out to say what do we think would resonate for most women. And by the way,

let me just say we’ve had a few men join our site as well. So we are absolutely

inclusive as well. But what do we think would resonate for folks at this stage of

their life when they’re wanting to think differently, show up differently, aim

differently, succeed differently, be to be different. And,

you know, so many women

as a fact, as opposed to a story, right?

Bridgett:  So there’s a story perhaps that my

partner is telling themselves that if I focus on me, I won’t be available for them,

right?

Deb: What is the story I’m telling myself? The story I might be telling myself is

that pushback means that I’m no longer lovable or needed or necessary.

And so I might start with asking, what stories are you making up about this

pushback?  I would also ask myself if there is

enough of your energy to do the things you want to do and be the things that you

want to be. And sometimes when we’re growing, those boundaries have to stretch a

little bit. And like, I mean, I’m just thinking about all the stretch marks I have

on my body. I’m a mother of twins. So I’ve earned every one of those stretch

marks. Honestly, we’re going to grow some stretch marks, some psychological and

emotional stretch marks. and I want us to think about those as beautiful as they

are when they come from perhaps birthing another human or two, they’re beautiful

because they mean that we’re growing and changing. And the third thing that I would

say is to invite people to have important, crucial conversations to not sort of

change and set a goal in a way that feels, you know, secretive,

but to do it in collaboration, in conjunction with people who are going to be your

advocates, people who are going to be your amplifiers, and people who are going to

help you attain what you want for yourself. So don’t do it, you know, under cloak

of darkness. Do it out in the light because you deserve to be in the light.

Bridgett: Right.

That cloak, of darkness. I have seen myself to do that in certain situations because I can

hear those voices that had told me, I know, I feel like they’re going to reject or

they’re going to make fun of or they’re going to, I don’t know, do something and

try to dissuade me from doing it. And you’re right, just to find those people that

are your cheerleaders, your advocates, the people that go along with you. Wow. How

did you know me and I just met you?

Deb: You must be in our target audience.

Colleen: but that you use AI in this. Did, as someone who is a little afraid of AI,

I’ll admit it. I’m not sure about it. Was it important for you to learn it,

connect with it, and use it in the program?

Carla: Yes. And I also, in this program and

with AI, the byproduct is that these women who may not use it are using it in a

different way and getting to know it in a very safe way, but also in a way that

things that Deb came up with and she said that she sent us a note where we have

Deb Kierston and I have this text chain and she’s like “main dish energy”. Think

about it, we are trying to help women have “main dish energy” and I think at this

age when so any trick, any tool that we need, so that women are putting themselves

first because all this time.

 Bridgett: I think women are the caretakers.

what’s something, Carla, that we could maybe get women encouraged to take out the, I

don’t know, it’s almost like a self, self -loathing type of thing. What’s something

they could do, to quit doing that?

Carla:  But I think it’s building a community. I mean,

we’ve talked about even doing retreats. I think it’s absolutely about building a

community. I belong to another group, the Athena Sisters, and it is a group of nine

women and we share our declarations with each other and others help them write those

declarations. So I may say, oh, I want to, I don’t know, I want to have a

restaurant. I don’t. I do not, but I’m just saying that. Okay. Let me, let me be

clear. Right.

Colleen: But then they’re like, hypothetically.

Carla: So let’s say they’re seeing that,

but what my ask or my declaration is small for what could be.

Right. So it’s like, oh, I want a restaurant.

and I don’t fail. But when you have other people in a community, helping you,

building you, seeing you, seeing what’s possible, and actually being the cheerleader

for that dream. So in my group, I have eight other women being my cheerleader,

and I can cheer for them because no longer am I so tied to what my dream is if

I’m helping someone else, you know? So I think that is the thing. I think it’s

building a community, truly.

Deb: I want to say, I want to give a shout out if I can.

 When I’m having a challenge, a dilemma, or opportunity and I get a

little bit of coaching from me, which feels really weird to say. But man,

I’m good. I’m good!

Bridgett: But you know, you write a journal sometimes and

you go back to read or to say, what did I think about then? Yes. I can see why

that would help.

Colleen: Yeah. You’re definitely preaching to the choir, because Bridgett and

I’ve been doing this podcast five plus years, and I think what stands out to us

with our listeners, our guests, is that community and connection are key to

everything. If you feel seen, if you feel heard, if you feel validated. And

sometimes just getting in a room with other women of our demographic, there’s an

energy there that you don’t get when you’re isolated and alone. And so any type of

community, and like you said, some women can’t afford to go hire a coach but with

the um and that’s why I wanted to explore a little bit about first you’re going to

take the assessment in the Me Menu Program, and then you’re going to set your goals

and I was saying that you take a guess in your assessment.

Carla: So I guessed

that I was a Pathfinder. I guessed it and I was wrong. I’ll admit it. I was!

Apparently, I’m a creator. But what was interesting is, in those questions I think you

asked 30 plus questions it’s not a long assessment.

 That information gets built and assessed and based on what you’re

putting in, how truthful you are, how open you are, nobody else is going to see

1. You could tell AI things that you wouldn’t tell anyone else, right? And so

we’re not saying that this takes the place of a live one -on -one coach,

but this also, for people who have never done coaching, this may help you learn to

talk about the things that you want to get off your chest. And so if you saw a

coach and we have, we have a place where, you know, where you can book a coach,

you have some place to start. Like, look, these are the things that I found out

about myself. Whenever you’re talking to me, I’m always like, oh, my God, I found

out this, you know, from this assessment during Enneagram. Oh, my gosh. Colby told

me this. Oh, my gosh. You know, when I did my aptitude test, I found out.

Deb: When you use the Me Menu, You are not getting diagnosed as anything, by anything.

This is a self -expression tool. It’s a discussion guide. It’s a reflection guide.

But no diagnoses here. This is not a substitute for a mental health counselor,

for a therapist, a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a social worker. It is not a

replacement for this. And we do not diagnose you. We just give you something to

sink your teeth into and to reflect on and then discuss it whether you discuss it

within the Me Menu or you choose to take what you’re learning in the Me Menu and

discuss it with a friend, a coach, a colleague, a family member.

Bridgett: Right. And, you

know, there’s so many things that were just said between the two of you that really

just struck me. Like when you said, Carla, that it depends on the day, you know, maybe

what you were doing when you took a test. And it always reminds me if I’m trying

to fill out a password. And it’s like, what was my favorite song in high school? I had like 5 different favorite songs. It depends on the day.

 But what are some of the

options, other options out there with the Me Menu

Deb: So we’ve got, so first of all, if you join the me menu, you

join and you pay once, right? It’s one cost. It’s not a subscription. You’re not

getting billed every month. And, you know, like I’m so traumatized from my

subscription to Columbia records.

you’ll do it in six weeks, but it takes you through a path. You can access your

Sous Chef AI coach anytime throughout the program. And then you get to set another

goal once you’ve gone through, you know, your six -day to six -week program. And some

of the options that we’re going to be adding to this in the near future is having

coaching cohorts. So groups of women who want to go through the program,

the six -week program in community. So Carla and I will both be there. Carla will

kick us off and probably close us out and I’ll be the coach that will walk the

participants through the program. And then as Carla said, one of the things that we

immediately got excited about was having retreat. So doing it live in person,

somewhere fabulous with fuzzy socks and really good food and a hot tub.

No cold plunge for me,  hot tub only. That is part of our vision for 2026!

Colleen: sign us up because we love retreats!

Carla:  Awesome! Yeah, we’re all about the retreats

because connecting women, we have so much wisdom at this stage of life that is just

what we want to share it and we don’t know where to put it sometimes.

So sharing it together, again feeling seen, feeling heard

 Colleen: I think the retreats are a great idea and um you’ll have to come back and tell us

where you’re going so we can join you. Another thing that I really like is like

you were saying it’s one price, because so many of us sign up and we even forget

that we’re getting monthly bills of different things that’s enough to drive you crazy!

 I’m like did i sign up that like 10 years ago and I’m

still getting billed?  But also that you get,

I think it was like over 100 plus AI questions that you can ask your sous-chef,

which is great because you, as you grow and you take the, and you’re doing the

goals and you’re achieving the goals, which gives you confidence, it also opens up

questions in your mind and in your life. Carla, how important was that for each

goal of the six different flavors that you have the options to kind of ask the AI

and say, what did I learn from this? What should I take away from it?

Carla:  I mean, it

comes back to, I have lived my life through reframe.

And I am the one who goes back and says, why was that, you know,

what did I get from that? So, you know, and I’m responding in my own head. So I

think that feedback, the payoff is that the more you put in,

the more you get back, the more you reflect on your life, the more you get back.

And now you have a source to sort of have that, that give and take that back and

forth with. And again, like Deb said, you take that information and you share it

with other people, a friend. I mean, this isn’t diagnostic.

 That could be the jumping off point for other conversations with your girlfriend.

So it really, I just love feedback. I am a words of affirmation person. That is my

love language.  I need that feedback.

Deb: Yeah. And I want

to give Carla some credit here. I mean, one of the things that you know, if you’ve

been through the Me Menu and that our members are finding out is that there are

videos of me coaching Carla.

Learning new perspectives and putting language to things that Carla hadn’t put

language to before. And so I give Carla a lot of credit for being the coaching

client of the program.

Colleen: Can I just follow up on that. For women who are afraid, they don’t really know

the difference between a critique and a criticism, that they take everything really

personally. How can they approach this as setting goals, but not feeling like, oh,

I’m going to

behavior and performance.

Deb: So there is no part of this that opines on your character

or your personality. That’s just not what it’s meant to do. What it does reflect on

is how you are showing up, how you are behaving, how you might be performing

against the goals that you’re setting. But because it is entirely self -paced and

it’s a dialogue tool as opposed to a diagnostic tool, so if you don’t complete it at first, there is no shame rather it would help with what would help you strengthen your

commitment the next time as opposed to how dare you? Because Lord knows, we get

enough of that in our own life from other people and tons of it in our heads.

Bridgett: Right. Just in our own brain.

Deb:Yep, exactly.

Bridgett: You know, it’s in some women,

the life changes are happening where either they got laid off or it could be

they are going so fast that they’re just burned out,  so

what could we do for a woman that might be feeling

so much resentment from a place, that they are leaving because they are just worn

out burned out from a career and then they held a lot of resentment. I mean I feel

like that that’s kind of personal. When I was a teacher for several years and it

wasn’t really even the students. I adored them. It was administrative things that

were being pushed upon me that I just felt like I’ve had it. I can’t do this

anymore. Any advice for someone that might be feeling that way.

Deb:  Yeah. Well,

this is something that Carl and I spoke about recently, I think even just last

week, is the idea that when you’re feeling resentment, it really means that your

values are showing. And so when there is something that is driving you crazy,

I’m not having the impact I want. I don’t feel like I’m a part of community. And

I don’t feel like people care about me. And I’m finding that I don’t really care

about what I’m doing. That feels awful because those are your values. Those are the

things that make you come alive. And so I would invite you to mine the burnout,

mine the resentment for values. What is this telling me about what really matters to

me? And then use the Me Menu as a tool to help you figure out how you can start,

even with baby steps, to take steps in your life to get more honoring of the

things that you value.

Carla: One of the things that Deb said, Deb, and when we were

talking about this before, she said there are things that make you tick and things

that tick you off. And the differences. So, Deb, go ahead and say,

because I mean, you’re right here.

Deb: (laughing) Yeah, yeah, right. If only she were here to

speak for her. I thank you. I appreciate that you remember that. That’s exactly

right. And at the core of both of those are our values, right? Are the things that

we fundamentally hold to be important to us. So as somebody who’s got a huge value

around autonomy, if you want to see me really, really frustrated,

tell me that you are going  to check my work, oh boy, right? Tell me that we’re going to

need to work on this together for a long amount of time. Tell me that I can’t

make independent decisions. You will see this happy, go lucky, friendly,

enthusiastic person turn inward and shrink because my values aren’t being honored.

But when I get to run with something, when I get to make my own decisions, when I

get to come up with my own timeline, this is the Deb who shows up. And so our

values are at the core of what makes us tick and what ticks us off. And I think

that’s great in the Me Menu program because you have autonomy.

Carla: And it’s not throwing

you into, like you said, a diagnostic. You’re this, you fit in this square. You fit

in that square. It’s just about growth and helping women grow into at this stage of

life. Maybe that next person that they’re the same person, but a different view.

you know, in talking about menopause and talking about just openly talking about some

of our struggles. And people feel empowered by that because

they were isolated, having these conversations thinking that they were crazy, right?

There’s nothing that I hate more than for me to feel like I’m crazy. Somebody’s

gaslighting me. I’m like, wait, but wait, wait, no, what? Right. My husband and I had our own Thanksgivng. Spousegiving. No guests, just us. No one

was coming over. Do you want us to come to your house? No, I do not. Do you want to

cook, no I do not? I took some things out of the freezer. It was so

liberating.

Deb: You were so happy, Carla. You were so happy.

Carla: I was so happy.

So I hear you, Deb. Yes. So if you’re sitting on the couch, it’s because you want

to sit on the couch. Not because somebody put you in time out. Oh, it’s all I

ever want to do.

Deb: And one last shout out to the couch. So much of the Me Menu was

filmed on my couch.

Bridgett: I think I said this on last week’s interview, our introduction, Colleen, where I

accidentally said something like, we’re not going to send you off into the woods.

We’re not, I’ve said, but it is like out.

Colleen: I was like, that’s every nightmare of

every horror movie.

Bridgett: Don’t ever go in the woods by yourself. But it is just like,

you know, so many times, it’s like people are dismissed when they’re at this age,

but it is a time to think, wait a minute we

have all this like you said wisdom that we’ve gained through all these years. Carla,

 when you talked about Thanksgiving I was kind of jealous of you.

Carla: boundaries!

Deb:  boundaries, boundaries are so important

Bridgett: and it is so important too and

and there’s things there just like you said the voices that you’ve been hearing, like

why you feel a certain way it’s probably something you’ve been told in the past and

and holidays are coming up and some people who created those voices may be visiting you in person. So this could be a good time to try The Me Menu to help.

Colleen: Well, that sounds like a great Christmas gift.

Deb: There you go. Yes.

Carla:  I also want to

mention, so we have a couple of men that Deb started out saying the men, but they

got this for the women in their lives who they see, you know, during menopause,

they are having challenges or they just want to understand. You know what I mean?

Colleen: We will have a link to The Me Menu in our show notes to check that out.

Always a pleasure Carla and so nice to meet you Deb. Thank you for coming on our show, we appreciate it.