EPISODE 57: BROKEN TO BRAVE - A MIDLIFE WOMAN'S MENTAL HEALTH JOURNEY

https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/5fjznj/Martha_2_Final_4bhhur.mp3

Episode 57: Broken to Brave – A Midlife Woman’s Mental Health Journey.

EPISODE SUMMARY:

Entering midlife is not just a time of physical change; for many people, especially women, it is a time of emotional and mental growth and reflection. Aging itself comes with a whole plethora of changes and challenges. When a woman turns 50 or starts to enter perimenopause, she sits with herself and discovers where she’s been and where she wants to go. For some women, the idea of aging can be extremely difficult to come to terms with. Many women go through depression, anxiety, or even suicidal thoughts when dealing with the aging process. Seeking out therapy and proper treatment can help transform your mindset. Martha Southgate is a prime example of a woman whose bravery through her darkest times has led her to feeling stronger and more excited about midlife than she has ever been. Martha herself struggled greatly with coming to terms with midlife and is now using her story to inspire others to seek help and remind them that there is always hope. In today’s episode, we sat down with Marth to talk about her journey with coming to terms with midlife, her experiences with therapy, how she changed her mind set to a more positive and excited way of thinking, and her advice for midlife women who are struggling the same ways that she did.

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions about rape, abuse, suicidal thoughts, and depression.

Martha Southgate:

MARTHA SOUTHGATE

In Martha’s own words:

“I’ve finally entered perimenopause! Was anyone else excited for the hot flashes to start? No? Just me? I finally get to anticipate missed periods instead of freaking out that it might be a seriously unwanted pregnancy. All my life I have felt like I was being dragged through the various stages of womanhood against my will. I didn’t want periods, pregnancies, boobs, etc. I didn’t want makeup and dresses and push-up bras. Those things put me at risk. Those things would make me visible. I was raped as a young teenager. I wanted nothing to do with being a girl, much less a woman, after that. I wanted to be invisible and not draw attention. I wanted to be safe. I thought that since I was quite thin when I was raped that maybe if I gained a lot of weight, I’d be unattractive and left alone. Keep in mind this was the late 80’s and early 90’s so my mindset was based off our media at that time. I felt weak and powerless and so very scared and was bombarded with the message that once I “developed” I was simply an object to be used and discarded by men. If I wanted to attract and actually keep one around I needed to know how to cook well for them, how to dress to appeal to them, how to clean, when to shut up, to put my needs last or, better yet, try not to have any, and God forbid you ever “let yourself go” or show any sign of aging. I knew women who were married for decades whose husbands had NEVER seen them without their makeup on. They would get up early so they wouldn’t be caught less than perfect. I knew abused women who were treated like property. I was having none of that. Dating? Marriage? Hell, no! Thankfully I met Rob who broke through every wall I had erected by being soft and kind and gentle and insanely patient. He has borne the brunt of my attackers in ways that I will never understand. He has spent 32 years picking up the pieces that remain and trying to hold me together as I mourned all that they’d taken. I lost most of my adulthood hiding, minimizing, terrified, and broken. Last year I turned fifty and woke up. Last year I turned fifty and grieved my losses. Last year I turned fifty and forced myself out of bed. Last year I turned fifty and created a list and did fifty brave things. This year I turned fifty-one and wore dresses and high heels. This year I turned fifty-one and put makeup on. This year I turned fifty-one and am working out to become strong. This year I turned fifty-one and started perimenopause and am so grateful for new chapters. This year I turned fifty-one and realized that I still have time to embrace my womanhood in whatever ways work for me. This year I turned fifty-one and realized that focusing on what was taken from me has kept me from seeing what remained. This year I turned fifty-one and the possibilities are endless.”

In this episode, we discuss…

[0:01] Introduction

[0:23] Guest Introduction

[2:51] Start of Interview

[3:12] Martha’s Journey

[8:31] Martha’s Podcast

[9:06] Martha’s Experience with Therapy

[14:07] Disconnecting from Toxic Relationships

[18:44] Looking Forward

[21:41] Martha’s List

[23:44] Finishing the List

[25:16] Advice for Midlife Women Who are Dealing with Trauma