EPISODE 36: A GOOD DEATH: CONVERSATIONS WITH A DEATH DOULA

EPISODE SUMMARY:

What is a good death? Death and dying are often topics that are hidden from the mainstream view as they are seen as taboo. Even though we all know that this is a stage of a life that everyone will face, we are not given the spaces and encouragement to speak about death. Our guest today is the host of The Death Dialogues Podcast, a podcast that gives guest a space to share their stories of death and survival in efforts to break the taboo that surrounds the topics. In today’s episode, we are joined by Becky Aud-Jennison. Becky once was a master’s level clinician who since the passing of her late brother and mother has taken on a role, she labels Death Talker, or Death Doula. In this episode, we tackle the topic of death and dying as it’s another taboo subject that people do not want to talk about. The reality of the matter is we all will go through this and we all have been affected by this. Listen in to hear Becky explain what it means to be present in death and how you can be a gift to someone through their grieving process.

Becky Aud-Jennison

For Becky, looking back now at how she came to be, death always interested her. Becky Aud-Jennison put herself through college while working as a part-time nurse’s aide and decided to continue her studies to become a nurse. Throughout her life, Becky had a lot of experience in the medical profession. When reflecting back, what really affected her was how so many people were dying alone in facilities and how it was seen as okay. She realized that most people have not come to terms with their own demise or mortality.

Becky Aud-Jennison now defines herself as a therapist gone rouge, a DeathTalker. She realized that you could learn much more from other’s stories than you could in any book. Becky became inspired to create the Death Dialogues Project after acting as a death doula in her brother and mother’s passing. Since the creation of the project in 2018, Becky has staged two critically acclaimed productions on death, provided workshops surrounding death planning, and is now in her second year of her podcast, The Death Dialogues Podcast.

What is a Death Doula?

Becky Aud-Jennison became empowered to make different choices in her brother’s situation after watching the documentary, Zen & the Art of Dying. For Becky, a death doula means presence, bringing a comfort level to the family and member passing. She also feels that a bit of medical knowledge helps the death doula understand the different stages of death enough to support the family helping, supporting, and caretaking during the process.

A death doula is a non-medical person who is trained to care for someone holistically during the phase of life that we call end of life. Death doulas are there to support people during the death process.
Death doulas help create positive, supported, and empowered end of life plans
Psychological, social, and spiritual support for the member passing and their loved ones.
Facilitate in the planning process and being present during the grieving process

The Death Dialogue Project

In creating The Death Dialogue Project, Becky hopes to give listeners permission and renewed ease when looking at death as an entity in our lives and as a stage of our lives. She also hopes that the stories told will help give glimpses into the process and help inform the listener.

Becky created The Death Dialogue Project after the passing of her brother while she was creating her production The Vagina Monologues. Taking this idea but using it to create the same types of conversations only surrounding death and dying.
Becky shares that we need to get death out of the closet and become more open about all topics surrounding death. In doing so you will be allowing people to take ownership of death.
Becky served as a death doula for the death of her brother and mother both being held at home surrounded by loves ones. She helped reframe what death looked like in her family.
With the Death Dialogue Project, Becky gave spaces for others to share their stories surrounding death that has received overwhelmingly positive reviews!

In this episode, we discuss…

[0:01] Show Introduction

[0:22] Introducing the Guest

[2:25] Start of the Podcast

[2:32] Becky’s Background and How She Became a Death Doula

[6:29] Dignity Therapy

[9:51] Taboo Around This Stage of Life

[10:43] What Sparked the Death Dialogue Project

[19:15] What is a Death Doula?

[30:06] Being Present in Death

[31:53] People Grieve Differently

[34:24] What is Most Helpful During the Grieving Process