Elizabeth Perkins: Episode Link
Transcript:
Colleen: Welcome back to Hot Flashes & Cool Topic podcast on the show today.
We are thrilled, I mean beyondthrilled to be speaking with actress and
producer and advocate Elizabeth Perkins.
Welcome to the show
Elizabeth: Thank you for having me on. I’m so looking for it. I was
looking forward to this all week I love you guys are great.
Bridgett: Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.
Colleen: I was just fan -girling before we got on
Bridgett: she had To do some
breathing and that’s okay
Colleen: I mean, I just I just think you’re such a wonderful
actress and advocate and, you know, we’ll talk about so many things.
Let’s start at the beginning. You’re in another simple favor. My question, what was
it like just saying, “Oh, we’re going to go stay in Capri for a couple of months
and see how it goes?”
Elizabeth: Well, it’s just a job you don’t say no to. And when you’ve
got Paul Feig, our director, who I’ve worked with, I’ve known for so many years. I
just adore him and his wife, Lori. They’re some of the best people. And I just got
this random email from him saying, “How would you feel about coming to Rome and
Capri for five weeks?” And that was it. And I was like,
“Is there a job involved?” And he said, “Yeah, it’s a small role,
but we need you here for almost six weeks.
And I was like, well, okay, I will do this for free if you want me to,
Mr. Feig. And I had known the first, ’cause it’s a sequel to A Simple Favor,
and it stars Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick and Henry Golding. And I had, I
remembered the film ’cause it was about seven years ago. And I thought, well, I
wonder what the role is. And originally, in the first movie,
my role was played by Jean Smart. And as I said to Paul,
I said, ooh, is that going to be, do you want me to like imitate her? He said,
no, no, no, no, I want you to completely make this your own. And, and I said,
well, why isn’t why isn’t Jean coming back, and he’s like, “Are you watching, Hacks?”
Bridgett & Colleen: – Right. (laughs)
Elizabeth: – And I was like, “Oh my God, yes.” I mean, the queen, she’s so good on it.
And it’s so great to see a woman my age. – Yes.
– Just killing it. So I sort of had the honor of replacing Jean Smart,
which I feel really get about two. And I gained about 10 pounds, living in Rome
for six weeks. And Capri, there was so much food. Oh, my gosh.
And Alison Janney and I did a lot of shopping. Well, Alison did a lot of shopping.
I watched
Bridgett: sounds like you and I, Colleen, you watch me shop.
Colleen: I go to buy
Elizabeth: Well, Alison, you know, never married, never had children and,
you know, I’ve raised four children and, and she’s just got a whole, like her
wardrobe is insane. And like, this is from Target. So I did buy myself a Prada
wallet. So that was my purchase in Rome. But, you know, she’s like, hey, you want
to go to Hermes today? And I thought, I am really living the life here in Rome.
So I had a ball. I had an absolute ball. It was a great cast. It was a great
time. And I think the movie is really fun.
Bridgett: It is. I love the line too, when
you’re like, “You look different.” I had some work done.
Elizabeth: I know. Well, we had to
say something.
Bridgett: Yeah, it’s so funny. Somebody had to say something. Yeah,
I know. It was, it’s so beautiful to watch that movie Uh, my husband and I got to
go last year just for a day on a cruise to Capri, but just one day in Capri,
but just one day to the top and it’s beautiful. And it was just nice to see the
things and we’re like, okay, next time we have to spend more time there. It’s
beautiful.
Colleen: It’s a little lemon cello and you are just set for the day.
Elizabeth: And I do think most – Most people say, “Oh, I should go in the spring.” What I
would recommend is to go like February, maybe early March,
because even when we got there and I think it was the first week in May, it was
packed. It was so packed that we actually had to cut short part of our shoot in
Capri because we couldn’t, we couldn’t film.
Bridgett: – I was probably there.
(laughing)
Elizabeth: – You were probably there, but like, you can’t close off the streets in
Capri, you know? It’s just people with their iPhones, like it’s Blake Lively, it’s
Anna Kendrick, you know? So we ended up doing more studio work than we had
anticipated, but you know, you’re in Rome, so.
Bridgett: – Yeah, I think they screened it South by Southwest. My husband,
Colleen: we were there for—
Elizabeth: – Oh, you were?
Bridgett: We were there for work, and my husband and my daughter, they were there and they
went to a little place and they had blood on the lemons and my husband hadn’t seen
the movie yet.
Elizabeth: – Oh my God.
Bridgett: – He’s like, “Why are people walking around “talking
about blood on the lemons?” My daughter understood.
Elizabeth: – Exactly.
Bridgett: – Yeah, she got it,
but it was really, that’s really cool. were you there? I couldn’t remember.
Elizabeth: – I was. – You were there, okay, that’s what I thought.
I love that festival.
Colleen: Yeah, it’s very long and there’s so many things to see and
do You can’t possibly be everywhere.
Elizabeth: No, and it really just sort of encompasses this
whole creative It’s so many different avenues of creativity are expressed there that
it’s really it’s really unique that way it is I plan on going
Colleen: – Yeah, I think so. – Definitely. – Yeah. We had talked off air right before this
about how you left Hollywood recently.
Elizabeth: – I did. – And moved.
Colleen: What precipitated that
decision?
Elizabeth: – I was just fed up.
-Colleen: Good answer.
Elizabeth: – I’m not originally from California. I think it’s very different if
you are sort of born and raised there. you have a deep love for California.
But I’m from the East Coast, I was born in Queens and then was raised on my
grandfather’s farm in Southern Vermont, Western Massachusetts area. And LA just never
felt like home to me.
I mean, great beaches. I actually love Northern California, but Southern California
for me just never, I never clicked. It was a great place to raise children ’cause
you do everything in your car, you can get your cleaning, you can get your
groceries, you can go to the dentist, you can pick ’em up from school and then you
got soccer. I can’t imagine doing that in New York.
So it was great to be there for that. And then once they kind of left home,
and I mean, now they’re married. And I mean, even when they went away to college,
it was just sort of like, there’s not a lot to do. And there’s not a lot of
community.
Everything is very isolating to me in that city. And I finally made the decision.
I want a community. I want to be able to go to the church and see people I know.
And I wanna be able to go to the library and know the librarian’s name and the cashier
and the man who works, you know, who owns the cleaners. And I just wanted to
downsize to where I felt like I know my neighbors.
And so I moved to Great Barrington in the Berkshires of Western Massachusetts.
And I have a great community already. But it was a decision that I pondered for a
very long time. And then one day I was like, that’s it. I’m going to sell the
house. I bought myself a brand new car and I just packed it full, shipped like a
U -Haul box and drove across the country by myself. And it was so freeing and
liberating. I was like listening to Joni Mitchell on the way out and I was like,
Bridgett: “Yeah, that’s awesome.”
Elizabeth: It’s been, yeah, it’s been sort of like a huge new step in
my life. That’s so cool too, driving, you know, like you were saying, driving by
yourself. It was unbelievable.
Bridgett: Yeah. – Yeah.
Elizabeth: – And I had a couple of friends say to
me, well, aren’t you scared? And there was never a moment where I felt, oh,
I’m really afraid. I just felt this huge release of like, I don’t have to be,
I guess it’s sort of like an identity thing. I mean, I’ve been an actress for 40
years. I’ve been a mom for close to 40 years. And I just wanted like the third,
this third act to be something brand new. And I had never given myself the time to
do this. This is my art studio where I’m sitting at the moment. And I’ve
always been a mixed media collage artist. But no one’s ever like seen my work.
It’s just been something that I do, I don’t know, like, is a second moment of
creativity in my life when I’m not acting. And I just had my first show,
which was really like, I was petrified.
I was completely petrified. But so I’ve got this community of artists that I’ve met
and I live on a great road with so many women my age live on my road and we go
on hikes and go out and hear live music and I’m involved with the local triplex
movie theater and these are all things that I just I didn’t have that in Los
Angeles. So I thought to myself, you did it.
You found a community and I’m really happy.
Bridgett: – That is so cool.
I mean, I love hearing that story.
Colleen: – Yeah, we love hearing women who are taking
this time of life to kind of reinvent, but add something,
become, listen to those little whispers that they had for so many years, but put it
aside because they couldn’t put themselves first ’cause there was, you know, total
job.
Elizabeth: And now all of a sudden you’re like, wait, I can put myself first, it’s okay.
– I can do whatever I want.
Colleen: – Exactly.
Elizabeth: – And once you sort of allow yourself the
freedom to do that because we’re so locked into these roles of being mom,
of being, you know, for me, being an actress, being a breadwinner, Being a daughter,
being a sister, being a good friend, you know, and this is the first time in my
life that I’ve felt it, “Oh, it’s about me.” And not like in a selfish way,
but in a like, “Oh, I really can do anything I want.” And
scary. As women, we’re not used to putting ourselves first. We’re very much,
I feel, caretakers.
And sometimes to the point where we get resentful of it. And I know I’ve been in
that space. And now I’m just out here, yeah,
kind of reinventing myself.
Bridgett: That’s so cool. I do love it because like you said,
sometimes you can get resentful of it, either in that sandwich, taking care of a
parent, taking care of a child. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. And then you talked about,
but while we were before we started recording about how your daughter wanted to keep
track of you on your journey.
Elizabeth: Exactly. She’s like, mom, I’m not letting you do this
unless you attach a Garmin GPS to your physical body. So I was like, on to my
belt loop. And I said, “Well, I’ll just put it in my purse.” She’s like, “No, no,
no. You can get separated from your purse.” I said, “Well, I could get separated
from my belt,” she goes, “Just put it on the belt.” And it felt so good to sort
of have my child watching out for me and allowing myself to do that and allowing
myself to be taken care of, instead of being the person who does all of the
caretaking. It’s a journey though, because it’s so unfamiliar
to not be the primary caretaker,
sort of the emotional sculptor of how the household is being run and the dogs and
the bills and the this and the that and the person’s coming to cut the grass and
scary, but ultimately really freeing.
Bridgett: – It is, and let it go with that guilt. Isn’t it strange how women do that?
Elizabeth: – Yeah, completely because it’s not something we’re used to. I mean, not from my
generation, you know, but I kind of, being a child, I was born in 1960.
So the 70s were really pivotal for me. And, you know,
it was all, you know, our bodies ourselves, Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem,
and we were sort of the first generation that was given the ability to go out and
work, got work. We had birth control. We were in control of ourselves in a brand
new way.
But nobody really told us how to do that. Our mothers didn’t have that,
so they didn’t know how to say, “This is what it looks like.” And I think we’re a
unique generation that way?
Colleen: Oh, yeah. Absolutely. And we’ve spoken to many women who
hit that 60 mark and there’s some kind of secret sauce that hits and all of a
sudden you’re fulfilling maybe dreams like I said before that you had set aside or
you’re putting yourself as a priority and it’s it’s a privilege that you earned from
all those years of putting yourself down the list. Did you find that?
Elizabeth: Absolutely.
I was always and I used to refer to it as a totem pole. I was always like sixth
on the totem pole, you know, it was like the four kids, my husband, oh,
wait, my mom, my dad, especially when both my parents got sick or sickly.
Both my parents had strokes and it was debilitating and you know there was a good
three or four years of caretaking for them and when they passed that was like wow
kids are gone parents are have passed
wow what do I do now I really can do anything I want And I realized that I had
been holding a lot of resentment about all of the care -taking and
Just kind of bailed but I mean bailed in a really good way of just sort of You
know releasing that identity of being you know number 10th on the total poll, right?
It’s not like not feeling Yeah. Crappy about it either. Right.
Yeah. It’s not like you’re
shirking. Your responsibility. It wasn’t the case at all.
Elizabeth: Exactly. I mean, I’ve worked
really hard for this moment.
Colleen: It’s a privilege that you’ve earned.
Elizabeth: Absolutely. Well, it kind of felt like I was rotting at a certain point, especially
after my parents died, there was a couple of years where I was just like, I’m not
really getting a lot of fulfillment out of my work. I mean, I love my work, but
when you do something for 40 years, you’re sort of, especially when you get
pigeonholed into a role and just kind of bored
and was really getting a lot of fulfillment out of my collage work. And yet,
I realized I didn’t have a space for my collage work at this huge house I was
living in in Los Angeles. I had like a corner in my office.
It was like, and it was always behind a door. It was like a closet. And I thought
to myself, what? Why haven’t I claimed a room for my art?
Like, why hasn’t this been more important? And I would do my art on the dining
room table and then put everything away because, you know, it’s dinner.
And now it’s just out.
Colleen: – And it’s beautiful by the way. –
Elizabeth: I have an entire
upstairs room in this house. – A collage work. – Just my stuff.
Bridgett: – You need that,
you need that space.
Elizabeth: – Absolutely, absolutely. But this is the first time I’ve ever
had my That’s cool, that’s cool, but think about that, you know, I know women take
for granted, like that they don’t, you know, they just go through their daily lives,
not thinking about putting themselves first or something as simple as I have my own
room. I know, you know, it’s,
especially with this generation with my children you know the rise of social media
all of a sudden there’s these tablets, I mean luckily for me when my kids were in
high school it was just My Space so we just missed that full -on but it can
consume you and you know I was still sort of doing the mom thing Oh,
everyone’s coming over, pasta, meatballs, you know. Oh, he likes this and she likes
it. And they’re all like this.(playing on phones) – Yeah, yeah. – And I’m going,
wow, okay. So I’m not even having a good time with y ‘all. So I’m gonna go now.
I love you so much. You’ll know, you know where I am. Come and visit when you
want. come and stay. I’ve got, you know, a three-bedroom house,
a little guest barn. And yeah, I’m always be here,
but I’m doing what I want.
Colleen: Good for you. Do you find that you like your own
company more as you get older?
Elizabeth: Yes, that you find the silence is not uncomfortable.
I don’t feel lonely, Which I always thought when the kids left,
I was going to feel really lonely. I was going to feel like I didn’t know who I
was anymore. And there was that, there were a couple of years where I was kind of
lost.
But once I made that decision to, I don’t want to use the word flee, because that
indicates some kind of fear. but once I made the decision that it was okay to
prioritize my dreams and what were my dreams, which I hadn’t really thought about
since like my early 20s, like what do I want? You know, like you get so used to
the day -to -day of being a mom, being an actor, being a wife
that like ultimately, where do you see yourself? I’m like, I want a community, I
want a little farm. I want a vegetable garden. I want maple trees. And I have
that. And, and so I feel that, I definitely feel like I manifested it,
but it was not fear -based.
Bridgett: Yeah. You know,
I totally get it.
Elizabeth: Yeah. I was, I’m really glad that I, I mean, I was,
I was in therapy during it though.
Bridgett: Hey, that is great.
Elizabeth: The best therapist and she was about eight years older than me.
So that was even better. And she was very encouraging of me,
you know, taking this really big step.
I mean, I remember when Patty Heaton was moving to Nashville. I mean, that was
a huge step, you know, raising your four kids in LA and that was a big deal.
And I would really encourage any woman who’s thinking of like,
well, what was that dream, you know, that you kind of had in the back of your
mind about what you want. I call it the last third of your life to look like,
you can do it. You just gotta do it. And once I made the decision to do it,
it was phenomenal.
And I don’t feel alone at all. I’ve actually made more friends here than I had in
Los Angeles. It’s a smaller community.
There’s a food pantry that I donate to, there’s a church that I go to,
there’s a library where I know her name, the librarian. You know,
the couple that runs the local gas station, the people who run the general store
down the road. Like I know everybody’s name and that’s new for me.
and I feel kind of hailed and seen by a lot of women my age and that’s um it’s
a really beautiful feeling that that is really fabulous, it’s
fabulous yeah just to have that community there
Bridgett: and yeah if like the librarian might
know a book you like and hold it for you!
Elizabeth: but I have never had that in my life
you
Colleen: – Yeah, which is crazy because you think LA, there are so many people and
you’re running into people constantly, but even in crowds, people can feel quite
isolated.
Elizabeth: – I always felt really isolated in LA. You know,
even like dropping the kids off at school, picking them up with the soccer game,
you know, doing this, doing that, doing that. It was just kind of like, I called
it running to stand still and you’re just kind of doing this until you’re burned
out.
Bridgett: – Right.
Elizabeth: – You know, I definitely reached a level where I felt physically and
mentally exhausted right about 54.
Right around menopause. Well, actually, I was in menopause much earlier.
But where I just thought, I’m exhausted. I have nothing interesting to say.
I’m bored. I still have a lot of great girlfriends in Los Angeles,
but I wasn’t prioritizing my own dreams. It was really about everybody else.
Colleen: Can we talk about your menopause experience? because it’s such a unique kind of
perfect storm at age 45.
Elizabeth: It was the weirdest. It was really hard.
I had been diagnosed with pretty severe endometriosis, which is very,
very painful disease. It doesn’t get a lot of attention.
And I’d had surgery for it once and came back right away.
And so it got to the point where the endometrial tissue was so bad that it had
attached my left ovary to the side of my body. I was basically like tearing my
fallopian.
Bridgett: – Oh gosh.
Elizabeth: – And I was 45 and I made the decision
after years of pain to have a hysterectomy, but I hadn’t been feeling well for a
very long time. And they said,
“Well, you know, they take out your ovaries and your uterus and you feel better.”
And I was like, “No, it’s worse
put you on in, you know, SSRIs, well, maybe you need to go for more walks.
Maybe you need to exercise more. You know, maybe you need to lose weight.
You know, what’s your diet like? Maybe you should cut out carbs, you know, and
you’re going like, no, I have blurry vision and I feel like I can’t stand up.
I haven’t slept in four days and you know and they’re like well maybe you know are
you in therapy and you get so frustrated that you’re um that nobody’s hearing you
um so I went in for my blood work for my hysterectomy and my OBGYN came in the
room and he said uh I’m putting you in an ambulance and sending you to the
hospital. And this was after like a three and a half year journey of saying,
I’m really sick, I’m really sick. And I knew it wasn’t just endometriosis.
And my blood glucose was 640.
And I was immediately diagnosed as a type one diabetic, which makes so much sense
to me now. And it’s an autoimmune, this late onset, autoimmune diabetes,
and adult onset. And, and then two weeks later,
I went in and had a full hysterectomy. So it was, and it was the first season of
the show Weeds. I was just saying, was that right?
Bridgett: – Oh my goodness, oh my gosh.
Elizabeth: – And I was just sort of, you know, my daughter was 14 years old.
You know, the kids were all like preteen and teen and it was just very
overwhelming.
– Really, really great. – You can’t even imagine.
Bridgett: – No, I mean, your gas lighted
enough.
Elizabeth: – Completely.
Bridgett: – Enough for endometriosis.
Elizabeth: – Exactly. – And then that was a
woman. I’m like, why didn’t they do blood work? – It’s a simple blood test.
And I had been going to my general practitioner for about three and a half years.
And he had taken blood work.
And so when I confronted him about it, he said, well, you only really presented
with abnormally high blood sugars, like twice.
And I said, this is really before you could check your own medical records on the
internet. This was like, you know, you peek in your file, like, why am I peeking?
This is me. Like, why do I feel like the doctor knows best? Oh, God. And I said,
well, what do you mean I had normally high blood sugars. He goes, “Well, you
presented once at 200, but I just thought maybe, you know, you’d eaten a hot fudge
sundae or something before you came in.”
You know, and you just wanna, it’s like, I almost died. – Yeah. – Because you
weren’t listening to me, you weren’t hearing me, you weren’t seeing me. And I know
that a lot of women, particularly through menopause, were particularly for anything
having to do with being a woman.
There’s not enough research, there’s not enough acknowledgement, there’s not enough
understanding of hormonal changes, there’s no consideration. As a matter of fact
there’s it’s the butt of so many jokes of like,
well, she’s hysterical. As a time of the month, must be PMS. You know,
there’s that people don’t take women’s issues or pain or suffering seriously.
– Right. – And that was really my experience and it almost killed me.
Bridgett: – Yeah, it’s,
you know, there is a really good, you’ve probably seen it, documentary about
endometriosis, Below the Belt.
Elizabeth: – Yes, I have seen it.
Bridgett: – You’ve seen that, yeah. And
we’ve had her on too.
Elizabeth: – It’s amazing.
Colleen: – Yeah, the producer of it.
Bridgett: I mean, that really opened my eyes because I didn’t, I was fortunate not to have
it. And so many women have it.
Elizabeth: – Yes, so many women have it. – So many women have
it. And when I was– – And with polycystic, you know, there’s, and these are things
that just don’t even get acknowledged. – Right. – Like, I’m like, like, And with the
menopause issue, I’m so proud of Naomi Watts right now for what she’s doing, because
she’s such a prominent voice and has such a following. And she’s like, “Hi, we’re
going to talk about this now.” And I go, “Oh, thank God.” Because when I was going
through it, it was just, I mean, I wasn’t even given the option of like hormonal
replacement therapy it was just you want what and you know there was nobody in LA
who was like providing that for you and so I just went cold turkey suddenly I was
in you know in surgical menopause and it was really overwhelming it was really
overwhelming so no nobody at all acknowledged like
– Oh, my goodness. – Well, they’re not acknowledging her. – Yeah, they’re not
acknowledging that she’s diabetics ’cause they’re not even looking for it, so how
would they? – Yeah, obviously. – And suddenly I’m doing insulin and, well, they did
prescribe me estrogen pills. – Okay. – And,
you know, it’s kind of like one size fits all.
And there’s no consideration for like how women’s bodies vary, you know,
or it’s not just estrogen, it’s also progesterone, it’s also testosterone, there’s so
much going on. And the fact that it’s relegated to like,
oh, well, you know, the time of life, like it’s some kind of joke is I experienced
experienced it firsthand and it’s really, it’s not okay.
Bridgett: – No, I have two nieces,
actually three nieces and they’re 40s that had to get hysterectomies in the past two
years. – And one of them had PCOS and I said, “Hey,
did they offer you hormones?” I think only one.
I said, “They didn’t discuss it with you at all. And I mean, not that I’m not a
doctor, but just doing this and thought to so many professionals that have just
said, hey, and really there is a great doctor out of Chicago,
Lauren Streicher.
she is like so great. She has a book about hysterectomies. And one
of the first that ever really talked to us about it. Right. Yeah. And I thought,
oh, well, so Colleen and I always say we want our daughters and the women below us
to at least maybe be able to take it like, oh, here’s the answers. Right.
Colleen: Take it
for granted that they have options as opposed to us having to fight for them.
Elizabeth: Right. And then, you know, and you also think back to even being in your thirties
when you’re sort of in your real
fertile age. And I see what my daughter is going through in her 30s of the ups
and downs and ups and downs. And it’s almost like society kind of makes fun of
that. And doesn’t take it seriously. And it just makes me think when I think about
to me, it’s,
like, well, if I was a man and I was told that I have to have my testicles
completely removed. But there would be a fund available. There would be research out
the wazoo, you know, for what that means for a man, you know?
And I’m not trying to be cynical or mean or bitter or anything.
but the lack of care, real care,
serious care, and the understanding that every woman’s body is completely different.
And so I took the estrogen pills for about three weeks until I fell into a deep,
deep, deep depression. And I thought, you know what? I’m just gonna cold turkey it
because I can’t, it took means so long to get here with the medical establishment
that nobody talked to me about compounded estrogen or compounded progesterone or all
you should take magnesium or nothing. Not a patch, nothing.
Bridgett: Yeah, because on the
premarin or the oral estrogen passes through your liver. I didn’t think about that
because I was on it for a while. And then I started bleeding again and then I
called the doctor and it was too high and like we’re gonna do something else and right I’m a
little patch so it’s very happy with it, I love my patch it makes me think of
Naomi Watts saying, we were in a place where she was speaking and the first time
she was with her husband,
so she was intimate with her husband that she ripped her patch off ’cause she
didn’t want him to see it.
Elizabeth: – Oh, isn’t that funny?
Bridgett: – It’s like now she’s like,
okay, everybody, here’s the patch.
Elizabeth: It’s gotta be mainstream. It’s just gotta be
mainstream.
Colleen: And I think there are a lot of women who are getting older who have
voices now that are being heard that maybe 20 years ago, they weren’t,
you know, Halle Berry’s didn’t exist screaming about menopause and, you know,
difficulty having sex and it’s until women feel like they’re, because there are women
we have spoken to that, go to the doctor and they don’t even discuss their symptoms
because they’re embarrassed. Completely. It’s 2025, like that’s unacceptable at any
time.
Elizabeth: It’s also, I think a societal thing,
you know, that women’s pain or women’s issues, just there’s like an eye roll about
it, you know, as opposed to really taking it seriously.
Be sure to catch Part 2 of our conversation with Elizabeth Perkins
EPISODE PART 2: LINK
Transcript:
Elizabeth: – You know, it’s
like when they started doing a lot of research about autism.
– You know, most of the autism research was being done just specifically only on
boys. – And it took them years and years and years and to start seeing the
difference of what autism, how Autism presents itself in a girl.
And, um, like, why?
Colleen: All the research on men, even testing was done on men for every,
until 1992, I think, Bridgett, like in 1993.
Bridgett: Yeah, it’s insane.
Elizabeth: And it’s unacceptable. And when it comes to autism, that’s why so many
young women are not diagnosed.
Bridgett: – They are, they’re, it’s like,
it’s probably, yeah, past puberty and everything.
Elizabeth: – Or even
later in life.
And it’s having these conversations and making people feel comfortable. And then it’s
other humans that come out and say stuff that just is untrue and defamatory.
And just, you wanted to say, please don’t pull it back into the dark ages, whatever
the topic is, please don’t. And what’s happening to healthcare right now,
I’m not even going to go there because that’s a whole messy situation.
But you know, this is, I’m turning 65 in November. So I’m about to enter into,
you know, Medicare. And I’m going, Oh, God, as a Type 1 Diabetic, because the
costs alone of my equipment and my insulin and my glucose monitor and the pen and
the this and the that is, you know, without proper health insurance. I,
I’m screwed, you know, and there’s no reason for a life -saving drug that I can’t
live without. It was the one, for me, not the one great, but, you know,
when Biden capped it at 25, there was just these resounding applause from the,
you know, the diabetic community. And I just don’t know what I’ll do if it’s yeah
you know, it is it is scary it like my insulin without insurance for a 30 -day
supply is $2 ,700
Bridgett: oh my gosh
Elizabeth: and then that’s for one insulin and I actually take
two of them
Bridgett: and then you think of people that are just trying to get by what’s
happening to them
Elizabeth: yeah they’re rationing their insulin and
some are dying because of it. It’s such a scary tunnel. It is. And then you go to
Canada and they’re like, here, here. It’s a free tunnel for me. Yeah.
Bridgett: It’s a human
decency thing. I mean, it really, it gets down to it’s a human decency thing. Just
in all aspects of it.
Elizabeth: I mean, Well, I’m, I’m, I’m a firm believer that tampons and
diapers should be free.
Bridgett: Oh yeah. Yeah. Yes. When I saw that in the Austin airport
where they you didn’t have to pay the machine to get it. Yeah. And and they should
definitely they should be free and definitely tax free. Or deductible.
So good.
Elizabeth: And diapers are so expensive. They’re so expensive. It’s ridiculous.
Yeah. It’s ridiculous. And I didn’t say I didn’t do cloths here. I did try it and
it smelled so bad.
Bridgett: Oh, I had that diaper pail.
Colleen: Oh, come on. Bridgett, I don’t see that.
Bridgett: I did try it when Maggie was a baby. I tried it. Yeah.
Elizabeth: I made it about five
months and then I chose. Five months is a long time with cloth diapers. Really
– Oh,
kudos to you ’cause it was nasty. – We all tried,
we all tried. – We tried. – You did.
Colleen: – Pampers for me. It went right to my kids.
Elizabeth: – There’s no reason they’re that expensive.
Colleen: – Yeah. – It’s,
come on, it’s paper product.
Elizabeth: – It’s, and you know, if it was a man,
if a man was experiencing this, it would be free.
Bridgett: It would be mailed to you.
Free. It’s funny we had Dr. Kelly Casperson, a urologist on the show and we were talking
about remember when she said what would they say to a man could you imagine saying
to a man if I can’t remember like if you had ED if they had he had ED. Well, go
do these yoga poses.
Elizabeth: Are you stressed? Are you stressed? – Did you try turmeric or
cinnamon?
Bridgett: – Right, and you’re some essential oils for you.
Elizabeth: – You know, you really, I tell you,
if you just lost 20 pounds.
Colleen: – Right, exactly. – Yeah, everything is about weight.
Elizabeth:- Exercise. A little bit. – Exercise and weight loss. That’s it. We’ll cure
everything. – Oh my goodness. – Oh my God. – Right after the insecurity for most
women. Talk about your weight.
Bridgett: – Right. Oh, yeah, I had to actually had my
gynecologist appointment this morning. I used to step on the scales backwards because
I just didn’t want to be upset. But they’re very good. This place is really good
about everything and, you know, very open to everything.
Elizabeth: I haven’t owned a scale in
40 years. Yeah, yeah.
Colleen: I’m not a scale owner. But I will take the shoes off when I
go.
Elizabeth: Oh, yeah.. Just completely naked.
Bridgett: Yes, I’ll just say “Pardon me,
everybody.” Yes.
I go with lite clothes. Oh, that’s why I’ve got this on. And linen pants.
Elizabeth: So yeah, as a woman. I mean, our bodies change.
And when I originally went on insulin,
my body had been so starved of it that I instantly put on 40 pounds,
like that.
And I was on camera. I was, you know, shooting Weeds and all of a sudden I came
back for like season four and I was like, I just puffed out like a puffer fish
because my body had been so starved of it that it just held it.
And insulin is a fat -storing hormone. And suddenly, you know,
I was the butt of a lot of jokes. Like, is she pregnant? Well, not at that age.
You know, there was a lot of that going on. And I was really self -conscious about
- But I also knew that this drug was saving my life. But I was working,
I was in the makeup trailer one day with another actor who was a guest star,
and we were talking about insulin, and they said, “Oh my God,
if I had to take a drug “that made me put on weight, I’d just kill myself.”
And my makeup artist kind of paused, and I sort of paused,
and wow, Okay. Wow. Okay. And they kind of left the trailer and my makeup artist is like,
are you all right? I’m like, no, I guess I should just kill myself. I should kill
myself because I’ve gained weight.
Colleen: People do not think and they don’t know what someone else is going through.
Elizabeth: Yeah, it’s just… No idea. it’s a problem in the type one community because there
are young primarily women who
limit their insulin because they will drop weight like that. And it’s very dangerous,
called diabetic anorexia. And a lot of young will,
um, you know, restrict their insulin use to drop weight. And you will drop weight
really fast. You could also go into a coma within 24 hours. So it’s, it’s a
problem.
Bridgett: That’s a problem. On top of eating disorders and just eating disorders,
then you have this.
Elizabeth: Yeah. There is some, I mean, I was hoping that that was
getting better, but I can still see that it’s, it’s bad. I mean, social media you
see and now you add the GLP 1’s and all that stuff and it’s right and then
there’s that yeah and there’s that and it’s so scary what you just see when people
share the comments that people say about them or send them ugly DMs and things like
that and you’re taking I could not I could not have been a young actor in this
environment I wouldn’t have had this strength to do it
Colleen: – That’s what I wanted to
ask you about. Like you started your career before social media really exploded and
you’re still very active but now you’re seeing the younger generation
that has to really expose every aspect of their life. How different is that for you
to see them when you kind of could lead a private life and have a professional
career?
Elizabeth: – Well, I think it’s ultimately, Especially for an actor,
I’m not sure about a musician or an influencer or, but for an actor,
it’s better to have sort of a mystique about your personal life.
It’s almost like, if an audience knows you too well, they’re not able to lose
themselves in your character that you’re playing. So there’s kind of that fine line.
And a lot of actors now are just famous people, they’re not necessarily actors.
So that’s brand new. I mean, we always had models, you know, and there was your
Grace Kelly’s and your Audrey Hepburns and but the actor actors for um we weren’t
expected to bear that much of our personal life. We just weren’t as a matter of
fact you know like in the 40s and the 50s they had studio people going like with
it don’t let them know anything about your personal life you know it was because
it’s stole from the mystique of um your on -screen persona so it’s a complete
180 for sure. And now they really expect you to have a big following and people are
getting hired for their following and it really doesn’t have anything to do with
acting. It just has to do with popularity.
I’m not sure I would have done very well in that environment when I was in my
20s. I don’t think I would have done well.
Bridgett: – We might be losing a lot of good talent in that process, you know, absolutely.
Elizabeth: Yeah,
absolutely. Because being a great actor
doesn’t, sort of necessarily coincide with being a great salesperson.
And, and it’s very much about sell, sell, sell. And,
and also, yeah, really expose parts of your life, I’m on Instagram.
But I have a couple of super famous friends who are not on social media at all period,
just aren’t doing it, that you know, I started out with actors that I started out
with. And I started an Instagram account because I was asked by the studio to do
that.
So that’s what I do. And it’s a great way for some of my friends to follow me
and know that, oh, well, that’s why she hasn’t called me back.
Colleen: Wait, she moved?
Elizabeth: But I don’t know if I could have handled that kind of scrutiny when I was starting
out.
Colleen: I mean, it’s like they show pictures of Everyone, at a restaurant,
did you eat too much pasta tonight because you might be pregnant?
Elizabeth: Right.
Right. Who are you dating? Exactly. So intrusive. Well, the commenting, I mean,
I probably would have, as a young person, just shut off the comments because there’s
never anything nice. People just use it as an opportunity to behave badly.
Bridgett: – It is, and to get the clicks.
Elizabeth: – Exactly.
Bridgett: – Why would someone say something so mean?
– To get the clicks completely. – Clickbait, yeah.
Elizabeth: – Well, that’s right, clickbait.
Colleen: – But you should showcase your art on Instagram. ‘Cause it looks beautiful
Elizabeth: – I’m a bit of a, I’ll tell you the one I had my first show, ’cause I’m never
nervous. I mean, even like opening night of a play, I’m like, yeah, I don’t have
stage fright, I don’t get nervous in front of a camera, but to show my art,
I was like having a panic attack.
Sweating and like trembling, and my sister who came to the show was like, are you
“Okay.” I said, “No, this is much more deeply personal than playing a
character.” You know, when you’re playing a character as an actor, you can kind of
hide behind that, but this is just raw you. So it was complete. I’m not sure I’ll
do a second show. (laughing)
Colleen: – Was that traumatic?
Elizabeth: – I didn’t know it was gonna be
traumatic. like I thought, “Oh yeah, I’ll put a couple.” It was a group show. It
wasn’t just me, ’cause I would never do just me. But it was a group show with
some other students in art class that I’m taking on mixed media.
And I hung four pieces and I just thought,
“Oh, these are the worst things I’ve ever seen in my life.” Like I was being so
judgmental about it. I guess because it’s so raw,
there’s nothing for me to hide behind. And there’s no character there or a script
or somebody’s shot or promotion of the film.
It’s just me, you know?
Bridgett: – And it is so personal ’cause you put all that time into
it, and it all came from you.
Elizabeth: – Exactly. – Yeah, it’s the real you versus the
character you’re playing. – And it also tends to be really dark and very political
and very angry.
Like I did notice some people looking at it like,
like kind of, that seems really angry. – She’s pissed off at something.
I don’t start out being political with it, but it always turns at some point into
like a statement about being a woman in society or being a minority in society or
about gun violence or about abortion rights or about just trying to
And, but usually it just sort of starts out as a piece of paper and,
and then transforms into something. So yeah, it’s, it’s very personal,
very personal.
Bridgett: It’s like, I think it almost seems meditative though, like you’re
getting all these thoughts that are in your head right now. I’ve got, okay, okay,
okay, I’m going to do this and You know, I can see that.
Elizabeth: Yeah. And I’m very into
found objects, like wherever I go, if I see something on the sidewalk or in a bush
or… Oh, is that a marble, you know, in the middle of a hiking trail or
something? You know, I sort of feel like when things come into your life, you
should pay attention to them. So, and, but now it’s kind of, I don’t know if it’s
becoming a hoarding situation with the subjects, But it has a room, so it has,
that’s great, that’s great. You just close the door and it can just hang out in
there.
Colleen: Yeah, that’s so cool. Will you continue acting? Will you still, do you still
have that desire? And if so, what do you want to do next?
Elizabeth: I would like to do a
show with other women my own age. Yes. Like the golden girls.
That’s that would be my dream.
Colleen: You realize they were only in their 40s and 50s.
Elizabeth: And they were in their golden years. Amazing.
We say that. Yeah. Every actress my age is like, can you even like? No.
I can’t. I can’t. And poor Estelle Getty was made to be even older.
Bridgett: Oh yeah.
Yeah. She was like younger than Betty White. I think she was younger than Betty
White for sure.
Elizabeth: Speaking of Betty White, have you got your Betty White stamps yet?
Bridgett: Oh my gosh, I’ve got to do it. You got yours? I’ve got to go get mine.
Okay,
Elizabeth: gotta get your Betty White stamps.
Bridgett: Oh my. Okay, I can run up there.
Elizabeth: That would be
my dream to do a
Well, I’ve, I’ve kind of got this idea of like women as Robin Hood,
you know, as women helping women through what I think is a,
a pretty odd political time for all of us.
And, you know, we’re going to have, there’s certain rights that we’re just going to
have to fight for. And I’d love to do a show about women that are helping other
women to protect their rights. And I’d love to work with other actors my age.
Just please. You know, so because we tend to get now,
I was a mother and now a grandmother and it’s um it’s a little boring so if anybody has
something interesting out there oh we would love oh yeah you know i’d love to do i
don’t know maybe like a Thelma and Louise type situation now we have to think i
know that way oh there’s a lot of people yeah i’d like to do it with Allison Janney because I had such a good time with her in Italy.
Colleen: Oh my God! She seems like
she would be so much fun.
Elizabeth: Yeah. She’s so much and it’s so funny because I’ve known
her for like 25 years. We sort of travel in the same circle of friends and but
we’d never worked together. We’d never shared the screen together. So we always have such a
good time. Oh gosh. I got to the point where I couldn’t even look at her because
I’d be like I know she’s making a face.
I can’t look at her. She’s like, “I can’t look at your Perkins,” and I’m like,
“No, no, I can’t.” Oh my goodness.
Colleen: Onscreen, that had to be hard. She’s been
everywhere.
Bridgett: Yeah, she has been. She’s so good. Yeah.
Elizabeth: She’s so good. Like,
when you go back and watch her on the West Wing, oh yeah.
Colleen: One of my favorite
series ever.
Elizabeth: Yeah. She was so good on that show and so committed and so just boom.
And she’s consistently fascinating as an actress. I never see it coming,
the choices that she makes, you know. And I love that she’s that daring. Like in
“I Tonya” was the act.
Bridgett: Oh yeah. It’s like I was nuts.
In my head, I was thinking of The Help. But yeah, I’m like, oh yeah, “I Tonya.”
that was crazy. Yeah.
Elizabeth: And then in the movie Juno. Oh yeah.
This is Allison Janney.
Bridgett: Oh my god. The Weimaraners. I am gonna have Weimaraners
Elizabeth: Yeah. Always surprising and always fascinating.
Colleen: Well, that could be the same for you.
You’re always gonna say. Really. I mean, the good doctor is one of my favorite.
Oh, thank you. – Thank you. –
the one with the doctor
with cancer. – Yes. – That was like one of your early roles. – The Doctor.
But The Doctor was just—
Elizabeth: The Doctor. Yeah, I would love to see that today in a time where women’s
health and so maybe it’s a female doctor or a male doctor that has to do– a
gynecologist. Mm -hmm. Yeah. But you know– I enjoyed that. Yeah, that was a great
experience.
Bridgett: – Yeah, some of your roles, I remember About Last Night ’cause I was a
teacher, I used to be a teacher.
Elizabeth: – Oh, so you get it.
Bridgett: – I get it, when you have
to, the little girls asks, are you a virgin? And I’m like,
oh, that’s so real. (laughing) –
Elizabeth: and a the kids ask my character, ‘Cause do you have a vagina and you go,
oh, okay.
Bridgett: – Okay, oh they will ask, I have had things said to me,
I taught kindergarten mostly for seven years.
Elizabeth: — You’ve heard it all.
Of course you have.
Bridgett: I’ve had to write letters. Great age. Yeah. Tell parents, hey,
your child heard this today. Not from me, he heard this today.
Elizabeth: They had this
experience today and it involved the genital and– Yeah, I tell you. Oh, yeah.
It did.
Bridgett: One of my sisters said– I told her we were interviewing you and she said
oh my gosh one of my favorite lines in Weeds is when Celia is like kidnapped and
her daughter said “we’re going to get a hundred thousand dollars, and Celia says “Oh honey you can’t buy
a house for a hundred thousand dollars.”
Elizabeth: Yeah I had some zingers on that show.
Bridgett: Oh it’s so good.
Elizabeth: And people sort of naturally assumed or if they didn’t know me
from my earlier work, that I was kind of like that person. And I remember thinking
to myself, who is like that person? There’s no person. This is the angriest woman
you’re ever gonna see. – She will kill you. She will kill you.
And I loved playing her.
Bridgett: – I was gonna say, they had to be fun. That had to be
so fun.
Elizabeth: I got to the point with poor Andy Milder, who was playing my husband,
there was a there was a scene where he’s, I like tie him to a wheelchair and like
beat him up. And I said, I’m really sorry.
I don’t feel this way about you personally at all I’m playing a character and I’m
sorry I’m so mean, but I actually am speaking of that character. I really struggled
with how she was treating her daughter. Yeah. Yeah, that was, I had a lot of
conversations with Allie Grant who played my daughter and her mother who was on the
set because Allie was only 12 when we were shooting, and I was calling her fat
and I would repeatedly say to her, this is not about you.
This is about how screwed up I am. So when I say these things to you,
they’re not true. It’s just, I’m projecting my own self hatred onto you.
And her mother and I spent a lot of time making this very clear to her. Right.
That was to her. That was difficult for me to navigate because it’s so antithetical
to who I am.
Colleen: Do you find now that you have more of a voice when you’re taking on roles for
something like that where you say that’s just not something I’m comfortable saying?
Elizabeth: Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, but it’s a fine line being a woman in any
industry, you know, you always have to kind of navigate ego or,
you know, navigate.
Well, there’s that little adage of, you know, a woman’s a bitch and a man has
strength.
Bridgett & Colleen: Right, right.
Elizabeth: So you always have to sort of temper things that you say
with, you know, I’m having a really
but you know and you always have to be aware of who you’re talking to and you
know how to have a idea of what you want. And I’m pretty clear without being a
bitch. And we have to navigate that.
We have to navigate that. In every profession.
Bridgett: It is every profession. Yep.
Elizabeth: Yeah,
just if you step out and voice your own concern in any way that seems forceful,
right? You’re a bitch. Right. And so I always know that when I have
to do that that first I have to compliment and then present my issue
Colleen: It’s like the
Oreo method.
Elizabeth: – I’ve been doing that since I was 22, so, you know. – It works. – I
know how to do it. – I know. – It could be frustrating, but you’re like, okay.
Colleen: – Yeah, like I said, it’s like the Oreo method. It’s the sweet, and then the
filling, and then it’s– (laughing)
Elizabeth: – And I swear, only women know this. Only women know this.
Bridgett: – Oh yeah, yeah. It’s so
funny. My husband will, he retired, And now he gets to see TV during the day
sometimes and so he’ll turn to one channel and it’ll be a news channel
And they’re arguing, arguing and he said okay I’m gonna turn to sports because I’m
sick of hearing this and they’re arguing and yelling on the sports channel and he
Finally recognized and he said oh my And they’re just yelling yelling. There’s men
Yelling, not listening yelling there And I thought finally, you’ve
retired and you see this.
Colleen: I have to ask this because in doing research.
I did not know that Robert De Niro was supposed to have the role of Josh in Big
– How does that even happen?
Elizabeth: – Very, very odd. Yeah, when I initially auditioned for
the movie, it was in the room with Robert De Niro. And so I was looking at the
movie as something completely different.
Bridgett: – I can’t even imagine it. – Yeah.
Elizabeth: – And he
kind of dropped out and Penny Marshall called me and said, “But I still want you
to do it.” And I “Oh, okay, no, great, I was thrilled.” And then it was Harrison
Ford.
And I thought, “Oh, my no, I might to be too young.” I thought I was too
young with Robert De Niro, so.
But then it was Tom Hanks, I was like, “Oh, this is perfect.” This is the best
Casting, it was the was the best casting ever! He was absolutely 100 % perfect and I
Adored him and adored working with him, but it definitely was different with Robert De Niro and
like you immediately look back then I’m gonna be like oh Taxi Driver. Yeah. “Yeah, you’re looking
at me” It just seemed like it was dark and kind of morbid and scary
and him alone in a hotel room and there’s shots being fired.
He certainly wouldn’t have eaten an Oreo cookie like that. And that made Tom’s
performance so incredible.
He came up with stuff that you would never have predicted. The eating of the baby
corn. – Yes. there’s a moment where he’s got a cherry from a sundae and you’re like
this is just he just embodied being a child you know so there was a lot of
improvising I guess
Bridgett: yeah the limo getting in the limo and trying all the locks
Elizabeth: exactly like and that was all him you know well I have to I have to give the
screenwriters a bunch of credit and of course Penny Marshall who was brilliant It
was just a great collaboration, for sure, and it’s, I think it’s a classic movie
and I’m just really honored to be a part of it.
Colleen: Yeah, well it is a classic. You’ve
had so many incredible roles and we could spend hours of your time talking about them. It’s
valuable, we don’t want to keep you wherever. All of the tractors have left the
property, so today was a big mulch day here.
Spring mulching and my peonies are starting to come up and I’m already harvesting my
asparagus.
Bridett: Oh my gosh., I have a sister that has a flower farm in
Kentucky.
Elizabeth: Oh, that’s awesome. And it’s peony season right now. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody in
Indiana ordered 500 peonies from her. So she has to get, is there, – It’s so great.
Elizabeth: – They’re so beautiful. – Yeah, I planted a bunch. I planted a bunch, so. – Goodness.
– Yeah, I need it. – My lilacs are blooming right now. – Oh, that must be good.
Bridgett: – Oh, smells so good.
Colleen: – you need to post your pictures of that on your Instagram. – Oh,
that would be cool.
Elizabeth: – But then I’m like, nope, I don’t want people to know where I
live. –
Bridgett: They’ll go looking for it.
Colleen: – I think that’s why a lot of people come to
where we live, ’cause there’s a lot of land you can buy, and you can have a
really long driveway, and nobody’s gonna know,
so.
Elizabeth: – I’ve heard of it, Franklin, I know where it is.
it’s beautiful.
Colleen: – We have kind of this unspoken rule that when someone walks in, you
know, that’s a celebrity, you just don’t acknowledge,
Bridgett: – Right, you
just let them be people.
Elizabeth: – Oh, that’s not – That’s not Nicole Kidman though.
Bridgett: – She
used to come to our neighborhood.
– Yeah, I think they moved. – Not too far, but they don’t use our grocery and
stuff.
Elizabeth: – They’ve been down there a while.
Bridgett: – They have, yeah, yeah.
Colleen: – But you always
know when Wynnona Judd walks in here.
Elizabeth: – Well, that’s Wynnona now,
isn’t it?
Bridget: – But I swear, the first time I saw her inKroger, I thought she worked
there. – ‘Cause she was all in black and she had on all black and she was moving
real fast. And I’m like, I’ve seen her before. She works here. I think that’s where
I’ve seen her before.
Elizabeth: – I’m sure she’d appreciate it.
Bridgett: – I didn’t ask her where
anything was.
Elizabeth: – Which aisle is the toilet paper on? – Oh wait, you’re why I noticed that.
(laughing)
Colleen: – Oh, Thank you so much for coming on today. This has been a pleasure and a joyous
Elizabeth: Thanks for the stimulating conversation.