Margaret Cho: EPISODE
Choligarchy: TICKETS
TRANSCRIPT:
Colleen: Welcome back to hot flashes and cool topics get ready guys today. We have an
incredible conversation with comedian, actress, musician Margaret Cho, welcome to the
show.
Margaret: Thank you.
Colleen: There’s so many topics that we want to get into that you have spoken
about over the years, but we wanted to
start with your most recent new show, Choligarchy. How did that come about? I mean,
the title kind of explains what it’s about, but can you talk about how it came
about?
Margaret: Well, I mean, I am so frustrated with this current administration.
It’s just a nightmare. You know, you think it can’t get any worse than it just
does. And we’re kind of faced with an oligarchy or a broligarchy and both of which
are terrible. And so I love a pun I’ve had quite a few shows throughout my career
that had puns I think this is a really good one. I’m really I like Cholagarchy. I
think it’s a dumb, but it’s really fun and it’s my chance to really, you know say
what I need to say. I think the one thing you know, these are the richest people in
the world, but the one thing they can’t afford is jokes at their expense. They really
hate ridicule. It’s one of the reasons why South Park is so effective.
It’s just perfect. You know, and I think it’s healing to be able to laugh at all
of this terrible,
inhumane kidnapping of people off the street and, you know, a martial law and the
National Guard coming in, and the just
egregious racism and you know incredible corruption that all this is symbolic of. So
it’s a terrible time and so I think political comedy has a really
important place.
Bridgett: It sure does and I really appreciate your Instagram the other day
on Kim Davis. I’m from Kentucky and I don’t live there now but one of my friends
growing up was a plaintiff in the Marriage Equality Act. We’ve had her on the show.
We’ve had her and her wife on the show and my heart is breaking for her. It is
just breaking for her. So I just, I really appreciate the post that you make
because like you said, yeah, like you said, it, we have to,
just to get us out of this craziness. It’s not really getting
us out of it but it’s bringing attention to it in a way that we can laugh but
also do something about it.
Margaret: Thank you. I mean it’s like we’re all suffering from
this and so I think where I can help is just to bring a little bit of
lightness and absurdity within the situation because I feel so deeply about it too.
Like my heart is breaking as well over all of this and um it’s and it’s just,
this is exactly what was going to happen. We knew this was going to happen. This
is all part of Project 2025. And like, you know, we just have to have our own,
you know, whether that’s, whether Project 2028, 2029, whatever, we need our own plan
in place. And so my plan is to really just keep hitting with jokes and or wherever
I can.
Colleen:- Well, comedy can be so effective, but at any time because the world is in
such a crazy state, do you worry about your safety? Do you worry about the
audience’s responses? Has that been a concern?
Margaret:- Yeah, I’m very concerned about it.
I have my exit plan. I have a very big,
you know, in and for Korean citizenship. So that’s actually quite easy for me to
become a South Korean citizen and to work there.
Also, the United Kingdom is a really easy place. You know, following in the
footsteps of one of my favorite ladies, Rosie O’Donnell. You know, and I love
Ireland actually. So I think that might be a good place to land. Also, there’s
always Canada. Canada, our long suffering neighbor and they’re, you know, in this
with us, so that might be a great place as well. So I definitely think about it,
and I’ve actually not taken quite a lot of jobs, acting jobs in other countries,
because I don’t want to be hassled at the border when I come back in. I don’t
want them to ask me questions. To be detained for 15 minutes is too long.
You know, I don’t even want to deal with that. So I’ve sacrificed quite a lot of
business opportunities for myself because of just my uncomfortability of actually
leaving the country. But if I need to leave, I’ll leave.
I think that we have to be really careful because we don’t know what’s happened.
I mean, freedom of speech is long gone. So, we have to be sort of aware of,
and I’m in a place of privilege enough to be able to get out when I need to,
so I feel fortunate about that.
Bridgett: Exactly. You know, we’ve, I’ve tried for years to
get my Italian citizenship, but I cannot get that consulate meeting. I just can’t
get it. And you know, looking at different avenues, but so many people. I think I
just saw that Jimmy Kimmel got his Italian citizenship as well and you know that
that brings, you know so many people, we’ve tried to come so far with racial equality
we’ve tried, it never was equality it never was, but we’ve made great strides and
what have you found now like just with the it’s like this rollback, what have you
found in that space?
Margaret: well it is, we have made great strides and
that it is, DEI is actually one of the greatest things about America. It’s one of
the things that make us so special. And one of the things that already make us
great, because it’s the diversity of who we are. And to really think that it’s gone
away, I think it’s too easy for them to think that they’ve won that already.
I don’t think a lot of Americans want racism. I think a lot of Americans
really do like progress. I believe that. I think a little a lot of Americans look
at the kidnapping of brown people as being unjust. I think a lot of people are
pushing back whatever their racial identity. If you’re American, I think there is a
kind of fairness that is inherently American that we want to feel. It’s,
you know, that’s true. It’s it is just so I think the voices that are so
racist, you just, that’s what you hear.
Colleen: Yeah, that’s the loudest.
Margaret: They’re the loudest.
And we’ve got to be loud. That’s why it’s so, it’s so
jarring. So that’s right. It’s so loud.
Colleen: Yeah. But there is such power.
I think, You know you mentioned it in the very beginning with the male ego the
more power they get the bigger they get, but they can’t take a joke
Margaret: No, especially
at their expense, right?
Colleen: So you have such Power in this moment to affect change
that maybe some other people even politicians don’t have, can you sense that?
Margaret: Yes, thank you, and I’m really glad for that, and I think
also they try to be funny and they’re just not, which is really great too.
So we have a good advantage. We have quite an advantage and I think they just are
stumbling around it. I think one of the effective things is to fight them kind of
like with their own tactics. That’s why I’m very fond, I’ve always been very fond
of Gavin Newsom, but I do love when he does a Trump impression in his social media
because he’s like giving them back what they give to us so readily and they can’t
take it and it’s so funny
Bridgett: Right, especially what’s happening was that yesterday or
today? Where he’s wanting to redistribute. He’s like, okay, you do it. I’m
gerrymandering here. Is that what’s going on there?
Margaret: Yes, California. Yes. Yeah fire
with fire. Yeah, exactly Which is high That’s the only way to do it. You have to
get down on their level because Democrats have so long wanted to take the high road
and we just don’t have that luxury. We don’t have the luxury of actually being the
good people. We need to get really rotten ’cause these people are rotten and we
need to get down on dirty like that and that’s what I appreciate about Gavin
because he’s just so game to play it in the way that they’re playing it and the
way they deserve to be played, so I really, I have a lot of high hopes for him.
I think he’s the one person who’s really standing his ground. I don’t see a lot of
real firebrands within The Democratic party. I mean there are quite a few really
great people But I think that we just need somebody who’s strong and I I love him.
Colleen: we need some new young people entering into politics and
entering into the world stage and speaking their truths. Because after a while, it
becomes very dry when the same people are showing up on your screen time and time
again. So we definitely agree with. So you’re going to be touring around a lot. Are
you ready for that?
Margaret: Yes. Yes. And, you know, it’s something that I always have done
and I love doing. So I’m really thrilled to just go back and get out there.
Colleen: You started very young in San Francisco. Did you always know you were funny? Margaret: Well, I guess I must have. I don’t know, like, I think I have like, some kind
of weird confidence when I was young and I don’t even know where it came from, but
I knew that I loved the art form,
and I knew that it was just the truth for me, you know, like I realized it was
the truth of who I was as a comedian. And I became friends with comedians very
young, and I knew that I was around my people. So it was the right decision.
I think you know in some ways, like I missed out on an education, which is too bad,
but it’s okay you know. Like I really do love my profession. It’s something that I
work at every day. Still you know, 43 years on it’s still my main obsession
creatively and so it’s something that’s always been there.
Bridgett: I love the story about you’re the competition, the college competition. Can you share that? I love that
story.
Margaret: – when I was still a teenager, I lied my way into a
college comedy competition and I was the winner of the West Coast, which the prize was to go open for Jerry Seinfeld. And so I went and he told me
that I should probably drop out of college or because I was very good at what I did,
if I decided to pursue comedy, that I would be very successful. And I wasn’t even
in college, so it was like perfect. So I was like, oh, that was such a boat of
confidence and you know, he’s still my really good friend now. And I am,
I’m so, I’m just so honored that I got that kind of strong message when I was
young enough to really like appreciate it and go for it. You know, that’s a great
thing so because of that, like now when I’m around like young comics, I always make
a big point of encouraging them and telling them what I loved about what they did
and being really on their side because I think like it just when somebody
established really takes your number and takes your side, and in that,
it means so much. So I, I, I really feel that.
Bridgett: I know that Bowen Yang and
Matt Rogers, my daughter is like such a fan of there. She’s gone to the Las Culturista,
Awards. I love them. I love them too. And, and I love too how
Bowen looked to you as, as inspiration. So I think that is really incredible.
Margaret: It’s incredible. He’s my baby. I mean, they’re all like Bowen and Matt and Joel can
booster and I mean there’s so many young queer comedians that are like my children.
So I mean, I don’t have children, but this is like the next best thing, you know,
they’re my babies
Bridgett: And you were great in Fire Island.
Margaret: Oh, thank you
Colleen: You know when when you’re starting out and you were getting this momentum and you’re getting the buzz and a lot of responses. And then you go to television and it like
flat lines. Everything is criticized about you. What was that like to all of a
sudden shifted to this world where you’re not enough? Where you’re almost like, going
great. It’s too much. It’s you’re just, you know, a wonder. And then all of a
sudden, wait, you’re not this, you’re not that, you’re not that. What was that like?
Margaret: – It was really hard, you know because I really identified and felt so strongly
within the role of the prodigy. You know and I think that it actually is a carry
-over from really young childhood because when I started, you know I was five, six, seven,
I was playing piano in classical music concerts and you know like these recitals, and
I was a very good pianist when I was a very young child. So I just like, I wanted
the role of the prodigy, you know child prodigy, so much and then you know because I
was such a young comedian I was like “”I’m a child prodigy” like I identified in
that role so much, so when that wasn’t there anymore, I didn’t know who I was. So it
very like crushing when you have an idea of yourself and then other people don’t
back that up. And so then it’s like, then you’re, you’re sort of left clueless.
Like, who am I? And it was a real, it was like mostly like identity crisis. Like,
oh, I was a prodigy, but I guess I’m not. And then what does that even mean now?
And so, but it was also good because it forced me to really assess what I liked
about comedy. Like, what do I like about this art form, well, Actually, I don’t
think I can live without it. Like I could probably live without television, but I
don’t think I could live without doing stand -up comedy because I had to keep doing
- And also I was doing stand -up comedy about my experience on television and that
was really therapeutic. So it was all really an important bed to fall back on,
this like world of stand -up comedy and the art form. It gave me something to
write about, which actually was the ultimate gift. So,
you know, like it did turn out the right way. I think that ultimately now I
probably have a longer career because of what happened. If the show had become
extremely successful and I think I would be like doing golf tournaments with Trump.
Like I might be MAGA, like you know, I mean like, I might be like that’s what scared me.
Like I might be doing golf tournaments with like Dean Cain. Like I definitely see,
like there is a side of me like maybe I could have gotten a really, like a really
easy start in show business and then just kept riding it and then didn’t they took
it for granted and didn’t work on the art form you know, it didn’t work on
politics, didn’t work on anything. I don’t know.
All of the real work as a comic, really good stuff,
didn’t come until my like 30s. I was still– I was like a fairly good comedian in
my 20s. But I was really good in my 30s. So I don’t think that would have
happened if I hadn’t experienced intense failure. So ultimately,
now I realize, oh, it’s probably been that was probably the best thing that could
have happened. But back then, it was absolutely devastating.
Bridgett: I tried to think when I first saw you
on TV. It was pretty, you know, it was a long time ago. And I think we’re the
same age.
Margaret: So I’m 56.
Bridgett: We’re older. We’re older than you.
57 and 58. So there you go. Yeah, but I remember one of your specials that
remember just a story about boots like and I bought these boots.
Margaret: Oh, yeah. Yes,
that story.
Bridgett: And so, I mean, you were on a Bob Hope tour. Is that correct?
Margaret: It’s amazing. Yeah, it’s amazing. He used to do a show around Christmas
called the Young Comedian Special, and he would book all of these like sort of
young comics and you know when it was on, it was me and Dana Gould was on there
and Caroline Ray was on another year and I did it two years in a row. At that time, it
really helped me a lot and he was so old. He would do
comedy but they would film him doing like, one word at a time and they would edit
it together in the booth because he was so, I mean mentally like there
was so much cognitive decline, he could not actually say a complete sentence,
much like Trump, it was a word salad coming out.
Bridgett: I’d rather have Bob Hope right.
Margaret: I would so much rather, so much rather, but they would actually edit together his comedy monologues where they were seamless and it looked really good. So I remember being there and Phyllis Diller was there. Phyllis Diller was so sharp and together. I
mean, I think she must have been significantly younger than Bob Hope, but they sort
of seemed like from the same generation. They seemed like these older people, but he
was absolutely ancient.
Bridgett: – Oh my, that to me is amazing. Just completely, how many
people your age actually got to work with Bob Hope and Phyllis Diller?
Margaret:- It’s really incredible. Well, I was around at the end of the golden era where you would see Milton Berle around and they would say don’t park in Milton Berle’s parking space,
whatever you do, like that was a big thing ’cause there was an old Friars Club in
Beverly Hills, which I got invited to. They always wanted to have younger comedians
around.
So yeah, Milton Berle was a very showy guy and very powerful.
But God help you if you park in a space. So I would always see people like that
or like Steve Allen. Steve Allen doing comedy sets around.
You know, it was just such a normal, everyday occurrence. So,
yeah, that old era of Hollywood, like going to parties and,
you know, being on the toilet and Shirley McClain walking in on you. You know, like
it’s like that kind of… Okay. Very old Hollywood existed still on the periphery of
where I was. So, You know, I was honored and able to be a part of it.
Colleen: – That’s amazing. With, when you were gaining popularity, and I know there weren’t a ton of women comedians, but still it was past the beginning of Saturday Night Live,
so you were starting to get some women in comedy and their names going around.
Was it very hard for you in areas where it was male dominated?
Margaret:- Yes and no,
because I don’t know if it was hard. Like, all I,
I mean, it’s weird because I kind of like know that I was given opportunities
because I was a woman, because I was Asian American, because I was young. There
were things about me, I think when comedy, the things that make you different are our
currency. So I was really wealthy in identity. And so in that,
it became almost easier for me to get through.
I don’t know if I was a white woman, it would have been as simple. If I was a
little older, I think it would have been harder. I think because I was just such
an anomaly, an odd thing, like what does this kid want, you know,
so there was a bit of ease kind of going into things because people were kind of
curious.
But I will say, though, like a lot of my male peers, you know,
people who started around the same time as me,
I look to their success. It’s like really astronomical compared to mine. You know,
somebody like Ben Stiller, which we sort of began around the sort of same time.
And he has a completely different career. I mean, he’s not a stand -up comedian, but
he has a completely different career. And it’s like, I don’t know if I would have
that if I was– maybe I would have that if I was a man, and if I was a white
man. I don’t know. I mean, I know that there is a lot of gender disparity.
I know that there is a lot of unfairness, but I think that the tendency for me is
to more look at the opportunities my gender gave me in this case just because it
just seemed like an advantage at that time, but it’s not to say that there were
opportunities for women, there weren’t. We had to force them, but what would happen is
like you would have one woman per show and it just ended up being me
all the time because I was, um, kind of just willing to physically be there,
but also I was just so different and I wasn’t that pretty.
That was all because there was also the other person around me all the time that
didn’t get a lot of like respect with Sarah Silverman because she was so beautiful
that nobody took her seriously. And she’s hilarious. But when she was like 17, 18,
didn’t you imagine, I mean, she’s beautiful now. But back then it was like, oh, you
know, who’s this, like there was a resentment that people have towards beautiful
girls in comedy. And I was not a beauty. So there was like a really easy street,
easy street. Like, but of course she got the recognition. She’s a massive star,
so of course it took a little bit, but it’s like that thing of you would, when an
audience is faced with a beautiful young girl, comedian, comedy audience is faced
with a beautiful young girl, they’re very like, this, it’s misogyny. It’s like that
takes over like, she couldn’t possibly have anything of worth to say. – Right.
Bridgett:- You know, and Of course, I never thought that. I do I know Joan Rivers was a mentor to you and I remember hearing her say that on shows, that
“You can be pretty but not beautiful.” I remember her saying “you’re not going to find a
beautiful female comic”. That you can be pretty,
But are you beautiful? But I think you’re pretty.
Colleen: – I do too,
Margaret: thank you. But I think that it is like beauty, like I think Sarah
Silverman is the exception. I find her really beautiful. And I think that’s what
made it harder in the beginning. But also maybe it made it easier because she was
such an anomaly, you know? Like maybe that is the exception to the rule because
people were so sort of floored by her beauty. That it was like, oh, I don’t I
don’t know, like it’s hard to say. And of course over this, you know,
40 years of a career. It’s like who even knows, but yeah It’s definitely the
path is different for women and it’s so much of it has to do with like looks.
I do think that like there men’s handsomeness is an asset for them. You know,
like they don’t have to worry about that because people still go along with it
Bridgett: Right, it’s um, I was thinking about oh
Brain fog moment. Yeah, but about oh, I know what I was gonna say, I know Tina
Fey brought up another thing when women say things and they’re funny and some
people might think they’re crass, and I love that about Sarah Silverman and different
people that will come out and just say it. I was reading Tina Fey’s and I
believe Amy Poehler had said something in front of Jimmy Fallon and he kind of
cringed and Amy let him have it. Like, just like hey, no you say this stuff all the
time.
Margaret: Yeah, yeah.
Bridgett: Yes And I do like that about, I remember Sarah Silverman,
you know, watching her show and my kids, and I probably wasn’t a good mom, but I
don’t care. I loved to watch it too. And yeah, she would just say the things like
that.
Margaret: Yeah. You kind of accepted that societal norms were not going to
apply to every comedian and every job and every acting job that you got.
Colleen: It seemed to be more natural for you in your 30s and 40s, but I noticed in some
of your conversations, and I loved when you talked about this, that some of your
decisions are more hormonally based or driven when you were younger.
Margaret: – Yeah, always.
Colleen: – And once you say goodbye to the hormones, it’s like your authentic self kind of
grows from that. Can you talk about that?
Margaret: – Absolutely. Well, like a lot of times,
like I’m making these decisions based on do I want to take this job because I
might have to like leave this relationship. I don’t know, like I might I don’t want
to like travel right now because I’m seeing somebody and I want
relationships, like that kind of stuff took so much more precedence over things that
might be really helpful you know.
I just made choices that I wouldn’t necessarily now and having a clear head
and no hormones ruling my sort of emotional decisions. Like my hormones and my
emotional life are totally separate,whereas before they were intertwined. I thought
they were supposed to be intertwined. Now, I’m just so clear-headed about
everything. It’s really weird, like menopause actually gave me the motivation to be
myself which, I never realized that’s what menopause was for. But I don’t think
that many people do. It’s like, oh I’m me now! Like I’m actually me!
Before, I was this kind of baby making vessel and of course I don’t want children
and I never have, but still even though I didn’t want them, I was still making
these decisions based on my biological availability as a mother.
It was very coded in like having kids,
even though I wasn’t planning on it. So it was going against my nature.
Bridgett: Right. You
know, we’ve heard so many women talk about that. It’s like when they hit 60, it’s
like this magic thing happens or it even could be a little before, but it is
amazing. It’s, and I never really thought about it, but it’s like those hormones are
gone. And now it’s time for me. And now you don’t care. You know, you don’t care.
You’re like, okay, I’m here. I’m walking out here with the dog in my pajamas. And
I don’t care.
Margaret: I mean, it’s like, you don’t fear judgment. You just think about,
well, you care about your own judgment. You care about your own opinion more than
anything else, which is so powerful. I mean, it’s not really like hormonal ’cause I do take them, I’m on hormone replacement, which I
love. I like really believe in it. But the thing about the hormone replacement,
it doesn’t affect my mind. Like it just affects my body.
Like it doesn’t affect my decision making. It doesn’t inform my decisions it doesn’t
sway me any other way like it’s the hormones have helped my with no hot flashes you
know, like the hormones help my hair and the hormones help my insomnia you know,
all these things that are like perimenopause, menopausal symptoms that the symptomatic
things are really helped but you’re not burdened by the emotional weight of
like, hormonal thinking.
Colleen: – You’ve said that you thought menopause was one of the best
things that ever happened to you. How was your perimenopause experience? ‘Cause you’ve
also said brain fog, you felt like an etch -a -sketch, a human etch -a -sketch.
Margaret: – Yeah, I forgot everything. You were like, you take a step and everything’s like
erased. The peri was weird because I would just like have a really emotional
outburst and I didn’t really know why and also I sort of would go through periods
where I’m like now like I just didn’t care. So I’d have like good periods where
I was just on the other side of it and then I think what helped me the most
probably it was just getting it, getting my hormones regulated,
getting on, you know, regular, like a good dose of estrogen, good dose of
progesterone, little bit of testosterone, you know, where, where it helps and can
leave that behind as well, if I need to, you know, that there was just an awareness
around, like, if I figure out the right sort of system of where to go, helped.
But, you know, I’m just, I’m fortunate in that it didn’t last that long because
compared to I think the menopause started like a little bit earlier. So now it was
feel much more stable. It’s been a while that I’ve been feeling very stable
Bridgett: Right. It can last 10 years. I mean peri can last 10 years. Yeah,
it is it is amazing I’m on hormones as well and my little patch I’ve got all this
the stuff and it does make a difference. But it is another thing too, was with
relationships. And I think I’ve heard you say that right now you’re just kind of
not interested.
Margaret: – No, no, not at all.
Colleen: – And I think that can happen.
I mean, it happens. – I think a lot of women who are post -menopausal are very
content with finding the joys in other ways, whether it’s gardening, I know you love
to garden, or friendships, that sexual tension isn’t really there for a lot of
people.
Margaret: No, no. I mean, in some of my relationships, it still exists, and that’s
okay, and that’s kind of fun to have around, and that’s fine, but I don’t want to
pursue it into anything else. I love to have that sort of frizz on of romantic
interest, and that’s there, but It’s safe because it’s not gonna go anywhere,
which I’m so relieved like I don’t want to shave my bush! (Colleen & Bridgett laughing) Like I don’t want to have somebody in my bed. Like I don’t want that except my
cats and my dog. Like I don’t want to meet somebody new. Like, oh like I don’t want
like – I mean, I’m open to it happening and I’m open to the idea of like romance,
but it’s like, and I like the sort of flirting and having sort of a space around
it, like a possibilities, and there is stuff there, but I do not pursue or want
another relationship. I don’t think, we’ll see.
Bridgett: – Right, yeah, you never know, but we
hear that from a lot of people too. And like Colleen and I have both done a whole
talk about, we’re both married. We’ve both been married for a long time, but we
both decided ifn something happened to our spouses. – Not interested. – Like, nope, not
interested, you know?
Margaret: – Yeah, I mean, like, I think it would be okay to be married
and then like, you know, to be settled into like a family with a partner, but now
I’ve been so, like, I’ve been in part, I’ve been in romantic relationships my entire
adult life and I’ve never been happy, not once, ever. And that’s saying something,
like I’m like, um, maybe I’m not supposed to, like maybe I’m not supposed to. Like
the happiest I’ve been is being alone for the last several years. So it’s
an experiment that’s going really well.
Bridgett: Yeah. And a lot of women say that at this
age, they really embrace their alone time. I mean, I do. My husband retired
a few years ago and I’m like, don’t you have to be out of town? I mean, don’t
you have somewhere to go? I mean, I love him, but it’s like, you know, I’d like a day
go to the bathroom with a door open, you know, just something like that.
Margaret: – I just
love solitude and I didn’t realize that I would because I was so afraid of it,
of what it might mean. So I think in solitude, there’s like this thing, especially
in the ’90s, they would be like, oh, you’re gonna die alone, you know, you’re gonna
end up alone. And that fear was sort of pounded into,
as like you gotta take what you can get and then settle for what you have and
make it work because what if you’re alone? But now that I’m actually
legit alone, I’m like, oh, this is actually much better than being with anybody ever
has been. So I really like it.
Colleen: And you’re open to whatever happens,
which I think is great. That pressure isn’t there anymore, that somehow your value
is measured by another person. And you have said that you think we actually increase
in value as we age.
Margaret: Yes we do.
Colleen: And why do you think that?
Margaret: Well we have wisdom and we’re making our own decisions like that’s like the biggest part of it. It’s like finally oh we’re actually calling the shots from inside it’s not our you knowuterus is it’s not our like fallopian tubes calling the shots it’s us. It’s very
different so when you come from this grounded place, then you know what you want
then you’re operating on all cylinders. They’re firing like,it’s like
everything is prime. You know we’re just in a great place to live and so we got to
enjoy that right? And it’s such a good thing.
Bridgett: I think it’s a great model for the younger
generation too to know you’ve got lots of options out there you don’t have to
follow this path right and there’s lots of women out there that are doing it and
they’re great examples. So just like you!
Colleen: Why do you think?
Bridgett and I always say that that aging is kind of the best -kept secret because women
never talked like it was always a negative connotation. If you watch the media
obviously aging is not praised. You need anti -aging cream. You need to do this, but
it can be such a powerful, peaceful time of life that I think it gets a really bum
rap. Why do you think that is? Would you agree?
Margaret: – I agree, I agree.
I think because, you know, it doesn’t sell products. Like if you’re fearing aging,
it’s a big market for you to buy into that fear. It’s a huge market that
corporations don’t wanna lose. A society that’s fearing the loss of youth,
it’s like we need to buy into that, you know, that fear is something that’s
cultivated by society to keep it going financially.
And also, it’s this idea that women have to be biologically viable in order to have
children, in order to matter. And that’s also not true either, at all.
So I think it’s a combination of misogyny that’s baked into our society,
our culture, that’s making a horrible comeback now.
But it’s also just sort of like, maybe we’re just, we haven’t been talking to each
other. We haven’t been talking about it. You know, I know there’s been a lot of
women in menopause who’ve been happy this whole time. We just never asked, or they
were not told, or they were not inspired to tell the secret.
Bridgett: – And you know, like I always said, I’m happier than I’ve ever been right now. And
like we said, no one said that this time of life was gonna be this happy.
Colleen: – It
- – Best kept secret. – It is.
Margaret: – Yes, it’s insane.
You know like our lives and they don’t have to be like a constant either. It’s like
we can go years without talking and then suddenly see each other and it’s like
everything’s there. So that’s what’s wonderful about friendship is that it’s enduring
And also of course there I have my everyday friends that I see all the time, which
is great as well, But yeah friendship is a very important, so that’s a wonderful important part
of all of this.
Colleen: – How was that during COVID? Were you able to keep busy and active
and working or?
Margaret: – Yeah, I didn’t do a lot of touring.
So it was a first time in like 35 years that I had not toured and it was really
weird. And that really gave rise to my gardening, that gave rise to getting cats.
You know, now my life is like so much about treasuring my home and being part of
my home where I was just living out of suitcases for a long time. I mean, I’m
still very happy to go on tour and still very excited about it, but I spend so
much more time at home than I did and I’m really appreciative of that. And
friendships were definitely key during the pandemic, you know, having a pod and
having people that I was just close to that I got to see. Definitely kept me
going. And then building other relationships through Zoom, through FaceTime,
through texting, all of that. It gave rise to a lot of other ways to communicate,
which are still very much active now.
Bridgett: – And I know that you’re a very big activist too, that you really do really speak
out for all kinds of communities, LBGTQ communities. How is that going and what else
can we expect?
Margaret: – It’s good, it’s gonna be a tough road. You know, this
administration is trying to erase trans people from existence. It’s really a
nightmare. Just today or yesterday of the gay marriage thing, you know, all of this
is truly scary. So it’s about really getting very active with it,
getting very vocal about it, getting very proactive wherever we can. But yeah,
it’s really scary.
Colleen: you know, Bridgett’s friends who were the
plaintiffs in Obergefell, one of the five couples, they even said, “if we have to
fight again, we will do it. We don’t want want to. We want the younger generation
to step up and take control, but if we have to fight, we will.” And they’re such
an inspiration.
What would you like to see for the next, you know, you’re about to get closer to
your 60s. What would you like to see happen over the next few years in your
career, in your life?
Margaret: I would just like to move more. I’d like to work more, I’d like to do another
comedy special, I would like to make some more music albums, I would like to travel
more, I would like to do more television, you know for me it’s just about staying
active and staying working and I think you know that I would like to keep doing
that for the rest of my life, like Joan Rivers did. She’s one of my big heroes
and my good friend, and that was a perfect example that she sort of set out for
me, and I really follow in her footsteps that way. So yeah, I wanna keep on going.
Colleen: – How devastated were you during that time when she passed, ’cause it really wasn’t
expected?
Margaret: – You know, it wasn’t her time, it wasn’t right,
and it was an accident, but any of us could go any time.
So she really lived very fully.
And that’s what I appreciated about her. She wanted to make the most of every
moment and she really did. So I was proud of the way that she lived to the very
last day. So
I don’t think she would have had any regrets. I don’t think she would have, but it
was really a terrible. Because that whole couple of weeks, it was her, it was like
Robin Williams. And it was like a very dark time. And you know,
but with Joan, I think that she led by such great example.
A woman should be, you know and I love that, so you know always carry her
inspiration with me.
Bridgett: I was so glad that I got to see her that summer right before it happened,
that was the one concert, I mean show, I got to see her and we’ve had
Melissa on.
Colleen: right, when she would do Atlantic City, my parents owned to
the amusement park so they would bring Melissa over and Joan over during that time
and I went to see her show I was maybe 12 and I was like am I allowed to listen
to this? But I loved it and I just I had such respect for
her strength and her fortune like she was. I love the story of her having all of
her jokes in a file cabinet.
And so, do you see yourself trying to be that inspiration for
the new comics coming up?
Margaret: – I hope so. You know, I would like to be, you know,
that would be great.
I think it’s just, you know, a matter of just like being there, you know, which I
would try to do. And I always try to collaborate with young people and, you know,
get and do things with them, which is really special. So yeah, I would love that.
Colleen – Well, we hope your show comes to Nashville.
Bridgett: – Is it coming to Knoxville?
Margaret: – I think, yeah, it is, it is, yeah. And definitely things are being added all the
time. So it’s not completed. But I’m sure I’ll make it to Nashville ’cause this is
one of my favorite places to play.
Colleen: – We love it here. So please
let us know ’cause we love to come see it. – Thank you so much for coming on.
This was a wonderful conversation. Thank you for everything you’re doing both in your
personal life and political. Yes. You’re such a wonderful voice for many communities
and we appreciate it.
Margaret: I appreciate you. Thank you.
Bridgett: Thank you.