MONICA POTTER: EPISODE
TRANSCRIPT:
Colleen: Welcome back to Hot Flashes and Cool Topics. We are thrilled to have Monica Potter
on the show today. Welcome to the show.
Monica Potter: Oh, thank you.I was put in menopause early because I I had to get an ovary taken out.
Okay. So I was getting my full periods. And then long story short, I went to St.
Joseph Hospital because I was having a really intense pain under my left rib like
someone was stabbing. And it lasted. And so finally I’m like, oh, I can’t, I
couldn’t stand. So I went to St. Joseph Hospital in Burbank. And they said we can’t
find anything there but I had a trip to Ireland coming up to see my family and
you know my goddaughter Hannah was getting married and they said okay we have an
incidental finding and I’m like what does that mean? I’m like you know let’s go
hurry up I just don’t like taking people’s time up in the hospital or you know
anywhere. I’m like, someone else may need the bed, just figure it out, let
me get out. And they said, you have to see an oncologist right away.
It was just shocking because I was like, I was married to an orthopedic oncologist
and he’s an awesome doctor, but they’re like, it doesn’t look benign.
And I went, gosh. But I wasn’t scared. I was just like, okay, Okay. So Molly
walked over to me and she said, mom. And after everything, she’s been with, you
know, going through the divorce, it was an eight year long trial and all that
stuff. But now we’re great friends. Wanting her not to feel scared,
that was my first thing. And she knows the terminology because her dad does what he
does. So they said, you’re going to go to Cedars to see Dr. Lee, he’s the
oncologist, and I’m like, okay. And I said,
Molly, I just sort of felt numb a little bit. She goes, Mom, there’s nothing wrong
with you. I promise you, there’s nothing wrong with you. I’m going to pray on you
right now. And we did that in the hospital. I mean, when the whole team of the ER
doctors come in, you’re like, because I had an MRI, a CT scan,
an x -ray, and they’re like, this does not look (goo). But I wasn’t afraid. So I went to
see Dr. Lee and he said, do you still get your periods?
And I’m like, yeah, every month. And they’re terrible, but grateful for it.
And I had just seen my doctor, Dr. Mary Kerr, and she’s like, you’re, you are
still fertile. You’ve got so many eggs, you know,
but I wasn’t going to have another baby or anything. So, but I still wanted to keep
them, you know, like let them loose or whatever.
Colleen: How long ago was this,
by the way?
Monica Potter: just two years. Two years. So two, exactly two years right now.
So, um, went to I, So I went to see Dr. Lee and I said, okay, however,
I have a trip to Ireland planned. And you said, when do you get back? And I said,
November 20th. You said, okay, your surgery date is the 22nd of November.
Went to Ireland. I went all over and saw all of my family, didn’t say anything to
any of my sisters, you know. And I didn’t feel like anything was wrong the whole
time. I decided to go to St. Patrick’s Well, where it’s a healing place.
So I went and sat in the well, like it’s just a pond. And I ripped off all my
clothes in the middle of November, and there are these old people around. And I
just sat in there like this and splashing myself in my driver friend Barry.
He’s like, you’re mental. But I’m fine. Everything’s healed. Barry took a picture of
me sitting in the well, and I sent it to all of my sisters. I was like, look at
me. They’re like, you’re completely naked. My sister Bridget texted back and went,
you bitch.
And I went, what’s wrong? She said, You know, the water bottle that I told you,
because we were all in different places, she held up a bottle of water and she
said, I just filled up this bottle and drank the whole thing from that well
yesterday. And I go, I wasn’t in it yesterday.
I was in it after you drank the bottle. She goes, I know, but if anyone
is as insane as you are, then there’s buttcrack juice everywhere.
But I’m telling you, it worked. It worked.
Bridgett: Oh, my gosh. Really?
Monica Potter: I came home and it
had shrunk and I had the surgery. They took out one of my ovaries, both of my
fallopian tubes. They said, what did you do in Ireland? And I said, I just had fun,
you know? I didn’t worry about it at all. And I think the mind can also help a
lot in prayer. And then I was at my manager’s office and I’m like, you guys, I’m
getting fevers every hour. And he said, what’s going on with your hot flashes?
And I said, I thought those were fevers. And he’s like,
no. So it took a guy who’s very in tune with women to tell me.
He’s like, they didn’t give you any hormones or anything. And I said, no.
Colleen: So they
shot you into menopause and just left? I mean, I’d like to say it’s a
surprising story, but unfortunately we’ve heard from a lot of ones.
Monica Potter: They don’t tell
you anything, but they also, it was not this bad when my mom went through it.
And my mom didn’t go through it until she was in her late, late 50s. I want to
say 59.
So my sister Jessica is just starting to go through it now. She’s 57.
And as soon as I got it, Bridget got it. So whenever I get something Bridget gets
it. Like when I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, Bridget’s pregnant.
Bridgett: just all of the different things,
which you’ve were told, like at the hospital and what they didn’t tell you and what
they didn’t offer you. And we’ve heard from so many doctors, you know,
especially after women have hysterectomies, that you should be offered something.
Colleen: You
should at least have a choice.
Monica Potter: The doctors and Chris, my husband, I don’t like
saying X, my second husband.
But I love him. I love my first husband, too.
Colleen: We’re going to send this to them later.
Monica Potter: Oh, you’re kidding. I have that go for it,
you know. They’re kidding. Yeah, they know. So he even said, he said, you know,
because he works at Cedars, he said, they’re going to try to get you in and get
you out right away. And he said, don’t let them push you out of the
door without making sure you have a follow -up. And sure enough, they didn’t really
tell me much. And if you can take certain herbs and this and that,
but what are the percentages of those herbs that you’re going to take? Like black
kohash, black walnut, da -da -da -da -da, extract.
All of this stuff, how many bottles, you just see how in my kitchen, how many
vitamins I have. And then I said, there has to be a better way, but the weight
gained. You guys, that pissed me off.
Bridgett: Everything that you used to do doesn’t work
anymore. I gained, I think I gained 25 to 30 pounds. Oh, easily.
Colleen: Yeah. We all
gained, yeah. It was definitely, probably 15 for me.
Monica Potter; A year ago, around this time.
I was in Cleveland. I was supposed to go for two weeks. I stayed for longer
Because of my home there too. And my sister, when I came home,
each butt cheek, one cheek was this big, one cheek is that big.
And my boobs, and I don’t like big boobs. I used to be very athletic and
gymnastics. I don’t have a boob job. I hate big boobs on me.
I just, I don’t, I like to be, like I had a dancer’s body. And now I’m like a
Teletubby.
And then skin dries out. So I’m working on some stuff for creating some stuff that
is hopefully going to help women.
Colleen: That’s wonderful. Yeah. Did you look into menopause
hormone therapy at all?
Monica Potter: Oh, I’m on patches.
What am I taking? Estrogen, like the estradiol patches on your stomach,
you put them on. And then it’s the belly fat too, you guys. I don’t like carrying
around the extra weight, you know. I just don’t oh, well, this is, and you have to
give yourself some grace while you’re going through it. But I didn’t want to say,
oh, well, I’m just going to stick, you know, because you don’t feel good. It
affects your joints, your shoulder.
Bridgett: All these things that happen and that we weren’t
prepared for, I have nine, I have eight older sisters. I think I said
that on our last podcast. We interviewed one of the psychologist, really a great
one, Dr. Heather Hirsch. And I said, you know, I didn’t know these things. I knew
about menopause. I had one sister that had really terrible symptoms. Yeah. And the
other ones, she was my oldest sister. And I used to make fun of her for turning
down the thermostat. I’m like, you’re just trying to get attention. Stop it. And
then it came and got me. Boy, did it get me. It was like, we see you and we’re
going to come and get you. I did not know what perimenopause
was and that was horrible.
Monica Potter: I skipped right through that. What is that?
Bridgett: Oh, it was
right before where my periods were so heavy.
Colleen: What’s happening is once you hit menopause, all the hormones are pretty much low
balanced. Perimenopause is this the rest of sometimes your estrogen’s up here
sometimes your estrogen or progesterone could be high and it’s just and it can last up
to 10 years so you’re riding this roller coaster, you’re gaining weight you’re not
sleeping you’re anxious, your brain fog.
Monica Potter: yeah anxiety and that’s all to peri. The other thing was the nausea. I felt like I
was pregnant and I still do I have to take Zofran sometimes, you know, whatever it’s called, just so I don’t throw up. It’s almost like this is an
annoying thing to have because it’s like slowing you down. And what is the one
thing we can do? Like the Halle Berry was doing the petition to, what’s his name?
Gavin Newsome.
And I thought it was odd that he wouldn’t pass the bill for menopause studies,
which was shocking to me because California is pretty liberal, right?
And I thought, well, he should, I’m not understanding. So why do we have to beg
him for that? I’m just going to go right up to his steps there. I know where he’s
at Sacramento and knock on his door. Well, I’m in a full -on flop sweat and say,
check it out. Help us out.
There’s no resources out there? Nothing. That they’re like, okay, if my voice can
carry some weight, I’m going to use it.
Colleen: And I love that. I think Bridgett and I
are so happy to see the conversation opening up because the women behind us,
they need it just as badly. And the conversation, the narrative, it needs to change,
not just for menopause, but for all women’s health. Because we’re at the point where
longevity is the conversation we’re entering into. How do you live a healthy long
life? You don’t want just a long life if you’re not healthy.
Colleen: You know, you’ve had so
many life experiences, you know, being married young, having kids young, and then
having another marriage and another child. How has your career woven through that?
Monica Potter: I
don’t know. Colleen, I got to tell you, that’s a great, no one’s really asked me
that. Thank you. No, that’s a really good question.
And I don’t really think about that because when I first got married to Tommy,
I was 18, had Danny at 19. We were in Cleveland.
And I would watch Regis and Kathy Lee every morning, but I was modeling. I started
modeling when I was 12, and for an agency called David and Lee in Cleveland,
they were based in Chicago. So I had done some work modeling and doing commercials
in Cleveland. And throughout the years, then I worked at a flower shop after school.
I went to Villa Angela High and my road was like this it wasn’t even like the
road less traveled it was one that my dad always said you’re going to have your
own road because it’s not going to be the road less traveled or you’re going to
make your own and it’s going to be crazy but fun he said that to me when it was
little and um so i thought okay I’m in. I mean,
he told me what I was going to do when I was three. And I knew, like,
okay, I’ll do, I’ll go to Hollywood and become an actor, a movie star, it’s on tape.
Colleen: That’s so crazy that he just knew it at age three.
Monica Potter: Yeah. Well, I said I want,
yeah, I wanted to be a nun at age three. Because I thought, well, I want to go
help people. And He’s like, no, Maki, go to Hollywood, but sing like a rhinestone
cowboy first. So, blah, but just three years old,
just made this real thick voice. And I’m singing this song. He’s like, now sing
and he would have me watch TV with the sound down to look at body language,
to look at movements, to look at expressions, feelings, and things like that.
We all have it anyway, I think. He had it in spades. He was the kindest,
most loving. Yeah. It’s been a long thing. But it doesn’t go away.
No, it doesn’t. But I talk to them all day long, too. I’m like, hey, Dad, let’s
do this. Or let’s, you know, because I’m not really around a lot of people by
choice. I love people, but not people that suck your energy or just have an agenda. To your question, Colleen. So I got married young,
then I’ll make this shorter. So Tommy and I then had Danny. It’s watching Regis and
Kathy Lee. I’m like, you know what? I love Kathy Lee. She can do it. I can do
it. She had just had Cody. And I’m sitting at East Park Drive in Cleveland. So I
said, let’s move to Chicago. So we moved to Chicago because my agency was there,
David and Lee. Then they opened another one in Miami. So we moved to Miami. Danny
was two. So I was 21 pushing a stroller,
trying to get on.
(Being on Young and the Restless) But it was terrible. It was a terrible, like, they were laughing at me. I would be
laughing at me, too. I was so, it was so, it’s doing those shows are hard.
Everyone was super nice.
Super sweet. I’ll never forget it. But no. And then so I found out that I was
pregnant with Liam, and I remember calling my mom from a cell phone,
not a cell phone, a pay phone, and told her that they fired me because I,
they said it was because of the pregnancy. I was playing a 16 year old too, so
maybe it was, but it wasn’t. I was terrible on the show. So, and then Tommy and I
then started to do films, and I did Bulletproof and then I did Con Air and then,
Without Limits, then Conair and then Tommy and I were together
for 12 years, but then we,
it just didn’t work.
So we went through this whole thing where he moved back to Cleveland and he took
the boys. But I was, you know, working and taking care of them also.
So that was my first time through it. So I moved back to Cleveland at the height
of my career in the later 90s. And I bought a house.
And then I bought my parents a house right around the corner, my sister Bridgett,
Jessica, and Carrie, we all lived in the same circle. And I was talking to my
agent at the time, and she said, you’re throwing away your career. You’ve worked
your whole life to get, I’d done Patch Adams, I’d done at the height,
moved back to Cleveland for four years and was like,
I remember screaming at God. I was like, really? And I said some swear words.
And I was like, this is what, thanks. And I lost my agent.
Then you reflect and you wonder why, but I know the reason.
2003,
I woke up one morning and I said, I’m going back to California with the boys.
Tommy had been in (rehab), he was getting sober.
getting sober. And I remember leaving, coming back here, buying the house. And I
said, okay, starting over. You know, you just lose it and you rebuild.
You lose it and rebuild. You lose it and rebuild. So that’s what I’m doing now.
Bridgett: Sometimes if you put it out there what you’re
really wanting, somebody might come in and try to stop or try to talk you out of
what you’re doing. Right. And sometimes you just got to know, I know this is what
I want and I know in my heart, I know I want this, and I’m afraid this person’s
going to say this and give me these reasons why I shouldn’t.
Monica Potter: Oh, I love the word
no. I mean, when I hear the word no, I’m like, underestimate me. Yeah. Undersimate
me. Underestimate me. That’ll be fun.
Colleen: I have a shirt that says
that. It says, “underestimate me. That’ll be fun.”
Monica Potter: I feel like we’re all here for a reason, especially this specific time,
you know, I don’t know how to explain it or you have to look at everything like
it’s a miracle because it is and everything’s energy, everything is frequency.
And I don’t, I think so outside of the box, I think maybe That’s what keeps me
going, because I question everything, and I love to investigate, but I have to
figure it out on my own.
Bridgett: You have had such a really great career, and I mean,
Parenthood.
Colleen: Don’t even, that’s one of my favorite series.
Monica Potter: Well, just like the whole,
the whole thing that it, everything that Parenthood touched on. It’s so special to
me, but I love, I love all, like Larry Trilling and Jason Cadem’s,
I adore, and Dylan and everybody on the crew and the cast,
everybody, everybody. And Lauren Graham just got her Star (on the Hollywood Walk of Fame).
And I’m really proud of her. She’s worked, like, she’s been here forever,
you know. She’s iconic, and everybody on that show was so loving and very
protective. It was extremely rare,
too. I feel like every set I’ve been on has been so much fun and such like a
family. It’s what you bring to it. And if there’s a person that’s out of line, the
producers will usually come to me and say, can you have a talk with him?
Bridgett: Wow. And I do. It’s your job. Wow.
Monica Potter: And I just, I’m just saying like,
let’s just relax and have fun. Everyone’s here to do the same thing, you know?
It’s a job. If you grow up, the way you grow up, you learn how to appreciate it.
And you don’t talk. I mean, I have a temper don’t get me wrong but it’s it’s
passion when i want something to get done not because I’m being selfish but because
I need it to get done so that it can help something else. You know it’s like I
just say you’re either with me or you’re in my way.
Colleen: another good saying!
when i was listening getting ready for this interview it seems like you
know you’ve worked with robin Williams, you’ve worked with Philip Seymour Hoffman,
you’ve worked with so many Nicholas Cage but when you’re talking about the stories
offset yeah it seems like you have you connect on such a personal level with these
these actors like it’s not just a job you are truly connecting on a personal level
I think that’s really special. I don’t know that many people do that.
Monica: Definitely. I
love people that are not, I talk to everyone because I feel like I have way more
to learn than I can teach than, you know.
And I, the nuns at school used to say, Monica, you don’t think.
And I would just cry. I’m like, I just feel everything, like to a degree where I’m
now embracing it more now, you know, and I do love people and talking to people
and getting to know them. And it’s interesting how as you grow and grow up,
get older, but you learn who has an agenda and who doesn’t,
who’s just pure light and who’s there for an agenda and who’s using you to get to
something nefarious, or I see that too. So I’m not like a Pollyanna where I’m like,
oh, everything’s rainbows and unicorns. But I have like this fearless drive to get
to the bottom of things and help the people that don’t have a voice. You know,
like the vets and the homeless and kids, and that’s what’s next.
Colleen: Are you formulating an idea or do you actually
have like something set that’s next?
Monica Potter: It’s all good. It’s all good stuff.
It’s nothing negative.
Colleen: Oh, I’m sure it’s good.
Monica Potter: I mean, exactly.
I mean, you know, like, I don’t even know how to, I don’t know what it is
exactly, but I know it’s here. Does that make sense?
Colleen: Yes, actually it does.
It does.
Monica Potter: The two most important days are the day
you were born, the day you find out why. Right. And I have that on my fridge and
I feel like I did when I was little again.
Colleen: Oh, that’s so cool.
That you have that passion to do that and that’s so evident it’s so evident in
what you’ve done already.
Monica Potter: I’m just excited to get going you know.
Colleen: yeah and um when
you get going will you come back and tell us about it?
Monica Potter: yeah you guys are now part of
it because I got to talk to you do you know what I mean. Because it
isn’t just about menopause. It’s about like, what are these things that are taking
over our bodies that are distracting us from what we’re really wanting to do? Do
you know what I mean? So this is just like a speed bump. Like, okay, let’s go.
Yeah. Let’s fix ourselves and so we can be there for. Right.
It’s true. I just get pissed off when people are treated (badly).My sister said you should
run for office and I should that maybe.
Colleen: Would you consider?
Monica: I might, yeah I don’t know what office. I don’t know. I could make up my own
office. The Office of Happiness come on.
Colleen: we’ll volunteer for that office